I’m not sure of anything, he wanted to say. But he couldn’t admit that now, not when his mother had just professed her faith in his abilities.
He followed the direction of her gaze, watching Isolde listen quietly as his sister chatted about something. They had stopped near a window, the sun coming through to burnish Isolde’s hair.
And he realized that he was sure about one thing. He could not leave her to the whims of fate, not if there was something he could do about it.
“Please don’t worry, Mother,” he said, turning back to her and squeezing her hand where she’d laid it on his arm. “I’m sure.”
Chapter 3
Isolde was doing her best to keep her mind on what Tatiana was saying, but she was failing spectacularly. She wanted to be seen as a good houseguest, for her own sake, if nothing else, and she also wanted to humor Tatiana, who was obviously delighted to have made a new friend.
Isolde wasn’t sure how old she was, but she must have been around Cornelia’s age, and so Isolde felt an instinctive warmth toward her.
Unfortunately, it was also a keen reminder that she’d just left Cornelia for she knew not how long, and her thoughts kept straying back to her sister. Though she was physically not far away at all, this new arrangement made her seem almost unreachable.
“Henry spends so much of his time in London these days,” Tatiana was saying, “so you won’t see very much of him, I don’t think. You’re stuck with me, though, I’m afraid! And this is our music room, of course!” Tatiana said, ushering her into yet another space in the house.
Isolde realized she had not retained anything the girl had just been saying. She could feel a headache coming on from the effortof keeping her face pleasantly neutral. “Do you play at all?” Tatiana asked.
She had stopped with her hand on a beautiful piano, her green eyes bright with curiosity. Isolde had noticed she, her brother Henry, and their mother all had eyes that same shade of bright green, in contrast to Thaddeus’s warm brown ones.
The three of them shared the same jet-black hair color as well, though Lady Harrow’s was turning silver. Their beauty was of a more striking, severe kind than Thaddeus’s sun-kissed charm. Isolde wondered if he took after his father.
She could not recall much about the late Lord Hartington, other than she had found him scary as a child.
“Only a little, I’m afraid,” Isolde answered in response to Tatiana’s question. “Certainly not skilled enough to subject others to my abilities.” She and Cornelia had taught themselves, mostly. Cornelia had wished for lessons, but Isolde and Thomas had thought it wise not to incur any extra debts.
“No matter,” said Tatiana cheerfully. “Thad plays quite well; perhaps he will play for you sometime. You can turn the pages for him! Won’t that be sweet?”
Isolde nodded, though she didn’t actually know if that would be sweet at all. She wished she better understood what part she wasmeant to play here. Was that something he wanted from her – to sit by his side and aid him in his tasks?
Things in her father’s house were difficult, but at least she knew her place and what was expected of her. The longer they wandered through Hartington, the more this tour felt like a metaphor for her situation – that she was alone, in an unfamiliar place, where she could not get her bearings. Not for the first time, she felt tears pricking the corners of her eyes and quickly blinked them away.
Perhaps not quick enough, because Tatiana suddenly frowned a little, tilting her head to study Isolde.
“Goodness, look at me! I’ve just been chattering away, pulling you here and there, and you must be longing to sit and have a moment to settle in. Let me take you to your room so you can rest.”
Isolde felt she should lie and protest that she was fine, and they could continue the tour. That would certainly be in keeping with the plan she’d proposed to Cornelia, of attempting to build an alliance that could help them escape their father’s vices.
But she was suddenly too overwhelmed to lie convincingly, so she just nodded and said, “Thank you, Lady Tatiana. And thank you for showing me around, it was a lovely tour! Though I am not quite sure I got the lay of the land. I shall have to rely upon your help to navigate, I think.”
The suggestion delighted Tatiana as much as Isolde had hoped it would.
“Of course! You must rely on me for anything you need!”
And with that, she companionably tucked her arm through Isolde’s and led her back through the house. She thankfully did not linger once she’d seen her to the door of her room, only squeezed her hand and said, “I’m so glad Thaddeus finally fell in love!” before practically skipping away down the hall.
Isolde barely registered the room as she went in, instead allowing herself to fall to the bed, finally letting the tears fall. She pressed a hand to her mouth to keep herself from making noise, but the sobs still shook her whole body.
***
She indulged her crying fit as long as she dared, and then lay on the bed, spent. She made her way to the window, opening it to let in some fresh air.
A breeze caressed her tear-stained cheeks, and she sighed into it. The crying hadn’t helped, exactly, but she did feel less like any moment she might snap and scream out her frustrations.
She found that if she stood in the right place, she could see her own home from her window, and that reminded her of why she was enduring all this. She must find a way to turn this situation into one that benefited her and more importantly, her family.
She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and gave herself a shake, telling herself that shewouldmake it happen, because she must.
