Then it abruptly disappeared, like it had gone behind a cloud, and she frowned, but before she could open her eyes, she felt a presence at her side. A warm hand slipped into hers, and she turned, opening her eyes to stare up at Thaddeus as he stood beside her.
The warmth spread through her whole body. He gave her a very gentle smile and squeezed her hand, and she could not help leaning against his shoulder.
Suddenly feeling safe, she began to cry. The tears slid silently down her face, and she felt him shift, replacing the hand in hers with his other so he could put his arm around her and draw her close.
They lowered the casket into the grave, and she finally stopped crying, wiping away her tears with the handkerchief Thaddeus silently handed to her.
As the others moved away from the grave, she hung back. They all looked at her questioningly, and she squeezed Thaddeus's hand before letting go.
“I just need a moment alone. To say goodbye.”
Thaddeus nodded and withdrew. Thomas and Annora did the same, walking away arm in arm, leaning on each other. Cornelia came back to give Isolde a quick hug, and then she followed them.
Isolde stepped up to the grave and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Father. For all the times these past many years that I hated you. I hope you can forgive me. And I hope I can forgive you, too, for everything you did to us. For all the things you sacrificed to your greed and your grief over Mother. For the chaos you’ve truly made of our lives.”
Isolde stopped, thinking of how there was still so much to do, to rectify, before they would truly be able to breathe freely.
“I always thought you might come back to us, be a father again, and straighten everything out. Instead you’ve just gone and left us with this mess. What should we do now?”
The question hung in the air, and then Isolde felt the sudden urge to laugh. What was she thinking? Her father had never given her any helpful advice while he was alive. He certainly wasn’t going to start now.
She sucked in a deep breath and then let it out.
“Goodbye, Father.”
She turned to walk back to the church and was surprised to see Thaddeus waiting about halfway along the path. As she got close, he offered her his arm.
“I told the others I’d wait for you. I hope you don’t mind.”
She shook her head as she took his arm.
“I’m glad you did.”
“I know I said I would give you time to think. I apologize for breaking that promise today, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I couldn’t bear leaving you to face this alone.”
“I wasn’t alone; I had my family.” But Isolde thought of how cold and empty the past week had been, and added, “But I’m pleased you came. I did need time, but I was glad to have you here today. It was a kind gesture to attend; one you did not have to do.”
“I think I did.” He stopped and looked down at her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Miss Fairchild. I know it may be in poor taste to speak of such things today, but I must say this much. I regret the deal regarding our engagement immensely. It was a mistake.”
Isolde’s heart dropped, and she suddenly felt cold. This was what he had come here to say? That he regretted becoming engaged to her? That it had been a mistake to intervene that night?
She felt faint and clung to his arm, even as she knew she should let go. He didn’t want her. She floundered for a moment but finally found her voice.
“Yes, I suppose it is poor taste, to speak of that horrible card game and my father’s worst decision only steps from where we laid him to rest.”
He stared at her in shock, and she was a little shocked herself at her boldness, but she did not take back the words.
“Miss Fairchild …” he said, sounding stunned. Then he seemed to get ahold of himself. “Miss Fairchild, you misunderstood completely! I did not mean the card bet. I meant our deal, the one we made where you were to find another suitor, and I would release you from our engagement.”
Now it was Isolde’s turn to stare. Her heart was racing.
Does he mean what I think he means?
Thaddeus kept speaking, as if now that he had started he could not stop.
“I can’t bear the thought of you marrying anyone else. I get so jealous thinking of you with another man that I feel I might choke on it. That night when you came to my room, I was going to tell you all this when you returned, but you never did. I waited and waited for you to come to me. And we kept trying to meet, but we could not, it was as if –”
