“Easy, Lord Hartington, easy,” Thomas said, gently stopping Thaddeus with a hand on his shoulder. “If I know my sister, it’s best to let her go for now. She rarely lets her emotions control her, but when she does, it takes a moment for her to calm down. Besides,” he added, eyes glancing to the bandage on Thaddeus’s forehead, “you’re in no fit state to go anywhere, except perhaps somewhere you can properly lie down.”
Thaddeus wanted to object, but he had to admit that Thomas surely knew Isolde better than he did. And besides, his head was throbbing now. The doctor had assured him he would be all right, but insisted he stay in bed for at least the next several days. Thaddeus had to begrudgingly admit that all of Thomas’s advice was very sensible. He sighed.
“You’re right, I’m sure. I should probably just ask to be moved to my room upstairs for the time being, until I’m stronger.”
“I can help you, if you don’t mind,” Thomas offered.
“Yes, please,” Thaddeus replied immediately. He was relieved not to have to make more of a fuss than he already had. “We can go out that door back there – there’s a set of stairs. Generally only the servants use them, but it will be less trouble than going through the hall.”
“Of course,” Thomas agreed, and bent down to loop Thaddeus’s arm around his neck and put his own arm behind Thaddeus’s shoulders. “Ready?” Thaddeus nodded, and Thomas stood up, carrying the bulk of Thaddeus’s weight.
It was slow going, but eventually, they made it to his room, and Thomas set him down gently on the bed. Thaddeus expected the other man to leave, but instead he sat down in the chair next to the bed and fixed Thaddeus with a determined stare.
“Forgive me, Lord Hartington, but now that we have a bit more privacy, I feel it’s my duty as a brother to ask you if there is any truth to the rumors about you and Lady Bradshaw.”
Thaddeus raised his eyebrow, impressed with Thomas’s boldness and honesty. He also felt relieved to have a chance to finally explain himself to someone, even if it wasn’t Isolde.
“No,” he said firmly. “There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Lady Bradshaw, and there never has been.” Thomas nodded, but he was still watching Thaddeus with a hint of accusation, and Thaddeus felt compelled to say more.
“If I were a more superstitious man, I would say that it feels as though the universe is conspiring against me and your sister. It certainly feels as though ending our engagement would be the easier path, as ridiculous as that may sound. And yet every obstacle makes me want to fight harder for her.”
As the words left his mouth, he realized they were basically a confession, but he had no desire to take them back. In fact, he felt like he could breathe a little, for the first time since this whole affair started.
He glanced at Thomas and saw the other man looking back at him, taken aback.
“Do you really mean that?” Thomas asked, leaning forward intently. “You’re not just saying that because I’m Isolde’s brother?”
“No.” Thaddeus shook his head strongly to emphasize his words, even though it made him a bit dizzy to do so. “No, I mean it. At first, I was merely keeping up with the pretense of it, hoping to find a solution that worked for both me and your sister. But now, I know …” He trailed off, his heart thudding, realizing how true the words were as he said them, “Now I know that I want to make this engagement work. I want it to be real.”
He impulsively sat back up, because nothing seemed more important at this moment than going to Isolde and telling her exactly what he had just told her brother. But his head spun again, and he had to close his eyes, pushing down the wave of nausea that threatened to make him tip over.
“Don’t worry, Lord Hartington,” Thomas said, reaching out to clasp Thaddeus’s hand. “If you truly mean it, I’ll talk to Isolde. I’ll explain everything.”
“No,” Thaddeus said adamantly, shaking his head. “I should do it. It’s my fault that things are in the mess they are. My friends keep coming between us. It’s my responsibility to fix all this and …” He struggled to find the right words and then finally could only say, “It should be me. She should hear it from me.” He felt this so strongly, like he knew deep in his bones that things could only be made right if he found Isolde and talked to her himself. He felt his heart speeding up, and it was a little hard to breathe – he was a bit light-headed, actually – but none of that mattered, he needed to get to Isolde, only she mattered, only she –
The lightheadedness increased, and the nausea returned and, for the second time that day, everything went dark.
Chapter 19
Isolde paced around her room, reliving her conversation with Lady Bradshaw again and again. The woman’s words were burned into her mind.How could you possibly imagine he would want such a meek and mild little thing like you, when he could have a proper woman ...?
The rudeness of the words appalled her, but under that was a sharper sting, a whisper that Lady Bradshaw was right, and Thaddeus would never want her.
The more she paced, however, the more her anger burned itself out, until she was exhausted and felt like crying.
She sat down on the bed and pulled her knees up to rest her chin on them, thinking of how poorly Thaddeus had looked in her brief glimpse of him, and how pained his voice had sounded.
All the worry she had felt when she first heard the news came rushing back to her, and she felt again that she should be there with him, beside him.
He needs me, a voice inside her whispered, and she tried to tell herself it wasn’t true, but it felt so real. What should she do? How could she find out the truth if she couldn’t see Thaddeus?
She must see him, there was no other way. She needed to know he was all right, and she needed to know how he felt about her, about them.
And yet, speaking to him seemed impossible with Vivienne always lurking near him like a guard dog.
Now that the woman had revealed her true colors, Isolde felt certain her tactics would become even sneakier and more vicious. All the more reason to speak to Thaddeus herself – but how could she manage that?
She bit her lip and tried to think through the problem, hoping that some solution she just hadn’t thought of yet would present itself.
