“Why don’t you have any interest in Vivienne?” Cassian asked.
“Because …” Thaddeus paused, trying to put his feelings into words. He sat in the chair opposite Cassian and stared into the fire. “Because I feel nothing more for her than the affection onefeels toward someone they have known for years. And because … my heart lies in another direction.”
Thaddeus waited for Cassian to make a snide remark, but he was quiet.
“I know you’ll think me a fool, but I cannot help it. Miss Fairchild has found her way into my heart, and no matter what I try, I can’t seem to wish her gone from there. And to tell you the truth, I’m torn about what to do about it. After all, it was never my intention to feel anything for her. The engagement was a sham, you know that. A ruse to keep her from having to marry Crowley. To perhaps get her away from her father and his terrible decisions. I only wanted to help her; I felt some kinship with her. You know I always hated being here, with my father. I imagined she felt the same. But now that I’ve gotten to know her more … she is so kind, and so sweet, and so beautiful.”
Thaddeus knew that Cassian thought the whole situation with Isolde was a joke, but now that he was talking, he couldn’t stop. Maybe he couldn’t yet pour out his heart to Isolde, but at least he could tellsomeone.
“I’m having doubts about the whole thing. I don’t know if I should confess my feelings or keep them to myself. If she doesn’t feel the same, at best it will be awkward, and at worst, it might push her into doing something reckless, to get away from me.”
He stared into the fire, waiting for Cassian to say something, anything.
“If you’ve got any good advice, I would love to hear it,” he said, turning toward his friend – only to find Cassian slumped halfway down the chair, fast asleep.
Thaddeus suddenly felt very foolish. Perhaps it was for the best that Cassian had not heard him and would never know what an idiot he was when it came to Isolde, and to his own heart.
Still, falling asleep while he was earnestly asking the question was too much.
“You are a terrible friend sometimes,” he said to Cassian’s sleeping form.
His friend, heedless of the disappointment he’d just caused, slumbered on.
Chapter 15
Isolde wrapped herself up tightly on the way back to her room. The chill of the night air felt much sharper now than it had on the way to the orangery. She had waited there for nearly half an hour, thinking that
Thaddeus must also have been late, for surely he had not given up after a mere fifteen minutes? He never appeared, however, and finally she was forced to admit that he wasn’t coming.
As she made her way back to her room, she could hear other guests still up and about, and she wondered briefly if she should go to his room. Then she realized what madness that would be – she could only imagine what the gossip would be if someone saw!
She also realized she actually had no idea where his room was, which shouldn’t have made her feel unimportant, but it had. She made a mental note to find a way to get the information from one of the servants without arousing anyone’s suspicions.
Back in her room, sleep eluded her. She lay there, staring up at the ceiling, wondering why he hadn’t come. It had been his idea to meet, after all. Was she so trivial to him that he did not even remember sending the note to ask her to meet him?
Morning came too soon, and she felt miserable as she pulled herself out of bed. She wished they were not entertaining guests, for all she wanted to do was stay in her room. She forced herself to dress and go down to breakfast.
Her bad mood did not improve at the breakfast table, as whispers seemed to flit around the room. Everyone but her seemed to be talking about something.
Annora had managed to sit beside Isolde, and after about ten minutes of this, Isolde turned to her cousin, intending to ask if she knew what everyone was talking about. She was surprised to see her cousin looking guiltily at her.
“What is it?” she murmured, keeping her voice low so only her cousin would hear.
“Darling …” Annora said sympathetically and then leaned a little closer. “I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you, my dear, but you’ve a right to know … Lord Hartington and Lady Bradshaw were seen together in the garden last night. Alone.
Isolde felt cold and then hot in quick succession. A riot of emotions danced through her. Thaddeus, alone in the garden with another woman?Thatwoman? And apparently that’s what he’d been doing, instead of meeting her like he’d said he would.
She felt tears gathering in her eyes and forced herself not to cry. Perhaps this had been what he wanted to tell her about. Perhaps he had fallen in love with Lady Bradshaw, and he needed her to hurry up and fulfill their arrangement so that he could be free to marry her.
Isolde put down her silverware, her appetite gone. She wished she’d stayed in bed, never mind proper appearances. She looked around at everyone still enjoying their breakfast and wondered how long it would be before she could reasonably excuse herself from the table.
“Isolde?” Annora said at her side, her voice full of concern.
Isolde closed her eyes and shook her head, hoping her cousin would get the hint that she did not want to speak about it. That she could not speak about it.
She wasn’t sure how she made it through the rest of the meal. She did her best to put on a cheerful face, because the last thing she needed was to have people asking what was wrong, and drawing Thaddeus’s attention – or worse yet, Lady Bradshaw’s.
She thought of the woman looking smug, knowing she’d tempted Thaddeus away from his appointment with Isolde, and straightened her spine. Whatever else, that woman must not have such satisfaction.
