Not only that, but there was a pain in her chest, and she knew precisely why that was. She had been telling herself over and over that she was simply seeing things, that of course the duke only harbored any affections for her and her alone, and that Ophelia no longer had any impact on him, but the truth was right in front of her in the form of a nasty purple bruise.
Clearly, Philip’s heart was spoken for, and it had been since before she had arrived.
“I do not know what to say,” she replied at last. “Except that I am sorry. I am also grateful to you for defending my name, My Lord. I apologize that it ended the way that it did.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. You cannot help a man’s outburst.”
She wished that she could have. They said their goodbyes and she found Elizabeth immediately.
“We must go,” she explained quickly.
“But we have only just arrived. What is it?”
“I shall tell you on the way home.”
“Very well, but can I purchase these shoes first?”
Jackie sighed, nodding.
“This ought to be important,” Elizabeth huffed on their way home. “For you know how much I have been enjoying the shops here.”
“He is still in love with her.”
She fell silent in an instant.
“The viscount was there, a nasty purple mark on his cheek from the duke. They had a confrontation, Elizabeth, over the fact that he is still in love with Ophelia. How could I have been so blind?”
“If that is true,” Elizabeth said after a moment. “Then it is not due to any blindness on your part. I do not believe it, myself. I cannot believe it. I know how the duke feels about you, and I know that it is reciprocated. Something is not right about this, do not worry.”
But Jackie had no choice but to worry. The aching, burning feeling in her chest had not gone away, and it had appeared at the thought of the duke loving another. It only spelled danger, as far as she was concerned, because she knew precisely why she felt the way that she did.
She was falling in love with him, while he was falling in love with someone else.
Jackie had never been one to stand in anyone’s way, and as they returned home, she thought about returning to her home, back in Somerset. That way, the duke could be with the lady he truly did love, Lady Ophelia could be saved from her family’s clear financial situation, and she could…
Serve as a disappointment to her own family. It was not even certain as to whether or not her marriage to the duke would have secured Elizabeth’s own match, but it was their only chance at it. It was also the only way of saving themselves from their own financial ruin, and she was willing to walk away from it all because the duke did not love her, something she had expected to be the case in the first place.
He was not supposed to fall for her, just as she was not supposed to fall for him, so why was she hurt so much?
Either way, she sighed, she could not do it. She couldn’t live a lie, no matter how much she wanted to, and she could not force a man to marry her if he truly wanted her to be someone else.
It was then that she remembered their deal. If she did not want the marriage, he would still pay off her family’s debts, and restore Elizabeth’s dowry. He had given her his word, and she wondered if that would still stand if she left for home. If anything, he would have preferred that, would he not?
That way, at least he could say he did the decent thing as a gentleman and be free to marry whomever he chose, and once again there was a sharp pain in Jackie’s chest at the realization that that person was not her.
More than anything, however, she wished to keep her distance from the duke after what he had done to the viscount. It was a horrible mark, and she had not seen one like that—not since she had to help Elizabeth tend to their father after a particularly awful bet that he could then not pay off. If he was truly capable of such anger after being told that he could not do something, then perhaps he was not the man for her at all.
Which, given that she was not the lady for him, was perhaps for the best.
Chapter 25
Word travels fast, and even without people seeing his scars Philip was becoming known as a beast once more.
It was cruel, people said, that he would attack a friend in such a manner. Especially a friend as good as Lucien, who had been by his side through the worst time of his life. Philip agreed, and he had wished that it hadn’t come to that, but he had been left with no choice. Lucien was not the friend that he had made all those years ago, and he wanted the one lady that had truly been good to him, and he could not see past that.
He also could not bring himself to speak to Jackie. He had wanted to ever since the day of the picnic, but he had not been able to. That same night, she had asked to be left alone, and he had obliged, but after that he did not know whether or not her opinion had changed. Therefore, aside from murmured greetings, he thought it best to wait until she came to him.
And those days were torture.
