“She is as skilled a liar as I thought. Jackie, it does not matter what she says to you. It is not the truth. I never loved her. I thought myself in love, long ago, but that simply was not the case. I was making the best out of an arrangement, and she was pretty enough, and so I let myself believe that I already loved her.”
“As opposed to this arrangement?” She asked, but she too was smiling.
“This is different. This was something that I arranged from the start. It was my idea and my choice, and what a good idea andchoice it was. You had every right to turn me away. Ophelia did so after knowing me for years, and so nobody would have blamed you if you had done so after a mere few days.”
“I never would have done that.”
“I know, and that is why I–”
He stopped talking. Jackie looked at him, silently pleading with him to continue. She was unsure of what exactly she wished to hear, but she knew she wanted him to say something.
“I do not know if this is something I should say to you as yet. I have been trying for so long not to tell you, not wanting to pressure you into doing anything you do not wish to do.”
“There is no pressure,” she assured him. “Tell me what you wish to. No judgment will come from me, as I like to think it never has.”
“It never has.” He smiled at her. “Jackie, I have fallen for you. I want to say that I tried not to, because I wanted us to move as you wished, and I wanted to keep my feelings separate, but I could not. You are everything that I could ever want in a wife, in a friend. I have been sitting with all of these feelings, and I have not known what to do with them. I haven’t wanted to scare you away, but every time I have seen you, I have been on the very edge of confessing everything, and now…”
And now?
Jackie could hardly believe what she was hearing. She had thought that she was falling for him without reciprocation, yet here he was having felt the same. It was everything she wanted him to say, yet it was almost overwhelming. She looked at him eagerly, willing him to continue. She thought he might propose, and in spite of what she had first expected, she realized that was precisely what she wanted.
“And now I have to laugh at myself for how I treated you all those years ago. Scolding myself as I do, of course, but if only I had known then that the time we’d spend together would be the happiest I would ever be.”
It was not a proposal.
She was quite disappointed, but she could not complain. He had fallen for her, and thought of her as a wife, his wife. There was nothing to be upset by, all things considered, yet when she looked at him, he almost looked fearful of what he could do to her.
“Philip, I–”
“Your Grace,” the butler said quickly rushing into the room. “I apologize sincerely for the intrusion, but your presence isrequired. Some farmers are at your door, some sort of dispute between the two of them.”
Philip looked at her incredulously, and the two shared a small laugh before he had to leave.
They truly could not have a moment alone together, but it did not make her feel any negative way about it. How could she, after all? He had confessed the truth to her, and now she had to find a way to do the same.
Chapter 21
He had done it.
Philip had not expected to tell Jackie anything until the very last moment, not wishing to make her feel guilted into reciprocating, but he had to prove to her that he was serious. He could not bear how sad she looked when talk turned to Ophelia. He wished he had never met Ophelia to begin with if it meant Jackie would feel better.
Every word that he had said was the truth. He did adore her wholly, and when the visit was over, he would tell her that he truly did wish to marry her, if she would have him, of course. She was perfect, everything a wife and duchess should be, and the thought of having her around forever made him feel nothing short of ecstasy.
The fear of rejection, however, paralyzed him.
Fortunately, he did not have time to dwell on such terrible thoughts, for he had a dispute to settle. He had never had to do so before, and part of him wondered if that was the role of a duke, but nevertheless they had come to him, and so he thought it best to listen to them, at least.
“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” he greeted. “How can I be of assistance to the both of you?”
“Your Grace,” one began. “My family has been using our land for generations, and now this man has come to me stating that part of the property is his.”
“Because it is,” the other interrupted. “As there was an agreement between our great-grandfathers that the land could be borrowed, and it was never returned.”
“Purchased. He purchased it. It is therefore mine.”
Philip was unsure of precisely what to do, but he knew that his afternoon would be quite long indeed.
Eventually, after a long discussion that Philip did not wish to be a part of, the two gentlemen came to the agreement that no change needed to be made at all, for it would be mutually beneficial if the owner of the land received crops from the other. He wondered if he had been required for such a conclusion to be reached, but he was pleased that there had been one, nonetheless.
