“I adore it,” she sighed. “Though I have never been much good at it, nothing like you at least.”
“Surely you can play. Aren’t all young ladies taught?”
“Believe me, efforts were made by my mother, but having an adoration for music does not translate to having any real aptitude for it. I can play, but no better than most of the young ladies of theTon. You, on the other hand, are very talented indeed.”
“I could show you a few things, if you like.”
He had said it quickly–too quickly, and he did not know why he had done so. Teaching her would mean her coming even closer to him, and surely she would not wish to do that? It was a foolish thing to suggest, but he had felt a strange rush of good emotion when she spoke so kindly to him. The words had fallen from his lips before he could compose himself.
“I would like that very much,” she replied, and he bristled.
She seated herself beside him, looking at him with a smile on her face as if he was not horrifically disfigured. He almost felt like his old self again, which had not happened in a long time. She looked up at him expectantly, her lips parted slightly, awaiting his instruction.
“For a start,” he began, clearing his throat. “I shall assume that you learned your scales.”
“Was I taught scales? Yes. Was I ever any good at them? No, no I was not.”
Philip chuckled, placing his hands on the keys at the beginning of a scale. She studied his hands for a moment, and he wondered if she was looking at his scars, but she soon placed her own hands on the keys, copying his stance.
“Like this?” She asked.
Philip nodded, scolding himself for doubting her even though she had given him no reason to do so.
“Now, you do this.”
Philip did a run of scales, slowly so that she would see what he was doing. She then copied him clumsily, hitting the wrong noteon more than one occasion, which made her smile a little wider. She had always appeared so careful and gentle, and yet when she tried to play an instrument known for emitting gentle sounds when played correctly, she was clunky, loud, and giggly. It was another side of her completely, and he enjoyed it.
He played it again, and she watched him with a furrowed brow and determination sparkling in her eyes. She copied him once more, doing better the second time but still not perfect. She sighed, tilting her chin up to the ceiling.
“I am not made for this,” she smiled. “But I must say, listening is just as entertaining. More so, in fact, because then I have no fear of doing things wrong. I am good at listening, you know.”
“I have noticed, yes,” he nodded with a smile. “Now, one more time.”
He wondered if she would groan at him and try a third time with a sulk, but of course she did not. She watched him one final time, and then she attempted once more. At last, she did it without making a mistake, and when she succeeded at last, she looked at him with her mouth open, practically shaking with pride for herself. He could not help but feel the same way.
He also could not help but feel dazzled by her. She was beautiful, especially when she was curious and determined, and he realized that his heart was pounding in his chest. He wipedhis hands on his sleeves, noticing how they had been sweating while she was beside him.
He knew what his feelings were all too well, and they were most dangerous. He had admired her, to be sure, but he had not been attracted to her. That was a crucial part in his offer to let her go if she wished; he did not love her, or have any such feelings at all, and so what was the harm?
If he did fall for her, however, she would have so much power over him–power that Lady Ophelia had used against him until he had become the shell of a man he was now.
He shook his head, the thoughts of Lady Ophelia falling away as he did so. This was not her, this was Lady Jacqueline, and she was nothing like the lady that had broken his heart. She was worthy of his trust, and he knew that he had to give her that, even if it terrified him completely.
“I have never done that before,” she breathed. “I know it seems quite far-fetched, but believe me it was the last thing I expected to succeed in.”
“Well, now you can say that you have succeeded in it,” he smiled, proud of her even if he had not known that she had struggled with it. “Though I must ask about your sister. Did she ever learn?”
“Somehow, yes. She received lessons while my mother was alive, of course, and perhaps it was those lessons that got her far enough, but after Mother’s passing, Elizabeth’s schooling fell to me. I could tutor her in most things, but when it came to music… let us just say it was a struggle.”
The two of them laughed, and Lady Jacqueline gently stroked a key with a finger.
“Did you have a music teacher?” She asked.
“Many, yes, which is perhaps why I am any good at it. I had tutors for everything, and as a child I never had a moment to myself. I learned history, geography, and mathematics. Reading and writing were a given, and then there were special lessons about my family’s history, as well as the area I would be in charge of. It was a lot, but I always tried to be grateful for it. I never once wanted to seem unhappy about my life, given how fortunate I had been.”
“Fortune is an odd thing, isn’t it? I always considered myself to be more fortunate than Elizabeth, because I was able to enter society when we had money, and debut while we still had access to such luxuries as tutors. Then, one day, she told me that she had always seen it as the opposite, and that she had had far more luck in that her tutor was her closest friend.”
“Even so, it would have been wrong for me to dislike how many opportunities I had been given.”
