So shewasaware of her father’s finances, at least.
“Regardless,” he said quickly. “It is my hope that the two of us can come to know each other well, and enjoy one another’s company.”
She seemed startled by that, and he wasn’t sure precisely why that was. It was possible that she was flustered by his words, but it was not as though he had said something completely out of order, only that he hoped they would come to like one another.
Perhaps, he considered,thatwas why she seemed uncomfortable. It would have been no surprise to him that her father was forcing her hand, and if that were the case then the arrangement would be thrown out in an instant. He could not do something like that to her, he would not do it.
Then again, given that he had kept his distance from her, it was not as though he could clearly see her face. That had been the point, after all; he could not let her get too close to him for fear of her seeing him. Given that he could not use her expression as a guide, he simply had to accept that something felt wrong, and he didn’t like it. He had wanted her to enjoy her time there, and yet…
“Is the room to your liking?” He asked.
“It certainly is,” she nodded. “Your mother told me that you chose it especially for me.”
“I did. We are in the midst of changing a few things, and so we decided to split the three finished rooms between the three of you. I could not resist, however, giving you my personal favorite.”
“That is most kind of you. There is no need to do so much for me, though, I assure you.”
“Whyever not? You are my guest, after all, and so I ought to show you a certain level of hospitality. You know, this is my first time hosting anyone in quite some time.”
“Well, you are doing it well, I promise. I am settling well, and your home is beautiful.”
Silence settled over them, and still she did not seem to be in any more comfort. It was as though it was his presence that was unsettling her, and he recoiled at the thought. He did not want her to dislike being around him, whether they married or not.
Did she remember how he had spoken to her? It was entirely possible, and it made him feel awful that she had memories of it after so much time had passed. He wanted to do something to fix it, but with no way of knowing whether or not that was the problem, he was at a loss.
“Well,” she said suddenly. “This has been a most pleasant introduction, but I really ought to return to my room to dress for dinner. Thank you, again, for your hospitality.”
Before he could stop her, she ran away from him. She, at least, did not run past him, and therefore did not come close enough to see him well, but that did not dull the ache in his chest.
After all, it did not even have to be the way he had spoken to her all that time ago that had disgusted her. She must have known that he was scarred from society gossip in London, and hiding away in the shadows only led to the rumors being confirmed in her mind. In essence, she had been shipped away to his household to marry him because her father needed money.
Perhaps that was why she had agreed to it. She loved her sister, that much was clear to him, and so she was sacrificing herself to give her the chance at real love. That was the last thing that he wanted, however, and even though she had not said so in so many words, he knew that it would be the case.
Nobody could love a man like him, he knew that well enough.
“She is wonderful, is she not?” His mother asked brightly, having been waiting in his study for him.
“Mother!” He gasped. “What are you doing in here?”
“Well, I saw the two of you going in the same direction into the woods, and so I assumed the two of you might meet sooner than you were expecting. Am I right in said assumptions?”
“You are, but that does not mean that we had any sort of lengthy discussions.”
“You do not need one. It certainly did not take me long to see that the two of you will make a good match. She will be good for you, I think.”
“And I think she is horrified by me, exactly as I feared, and will run the second she is given the chance to.”
“Nonsense,” she sighed, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. “You need to stop seeing yourself as inherently unlovable. I shall not stand for it.”
“But you did not see how she was looking at me.”
“She does not know you, Dearest. Why, when I met your father, I was a young lady barely out of leading strings, and I was feeling everything that Lady Jacqueline must be feeling right now.”
“Yes, but Father was an attractive man that you could eventually fall for, and his dukedom was merely an added strength. Mine, however, is all that I have.”
“That is not fair to you. Philip. You are an intelligent man, you are passionate and kind whether you see that or not, and any lady would be fortunate to be your wife, I assure you.”
“Ah yes, such wonderful fortunes as a hideous husband that cannot even leave his own home. What self-respecting lady could say no?”
