Both conversations had a lot to do with my future after all.Gemma thought as she went down on her knees and put her ear to the door.
“…Cannot be allowed to go on.” Gemma heard her great-grandmother’s voice pierce her ears even through the woodendoor. Gemma could hear her mother’s voice next but could not make out what she was saying. They took turns and Gemma heard less than she had with the conversation Lothar had with her father.
Her father’s voice could be heard in between them but he did not speak often. There was a long silence in which Gemma thought they might be coming out. She moved from the door and waited. When she did not hear footsteps coming closer, she moved closer to listen at the door again.
“…Think this is the wrong decision.” Gemma heard part of what her father said. Her stomach dropped as she realized that a decision had been made. By the way her father sounded upset, she could only draw the conclusion that it was against his wishes. Seeing as he had given Lothar his blessing, it must mean that her great-grandmother had not.
Gemma got up and made her way into the garden. She hoped the openness of the gardens would help her regain the much-needed oxygen into her lungs. It only seemed to make it worse.
I will not allow them to decide for me. If I get married or not it will be my decision and only mine.Gemma walked without knowing where she was going. She suddenly wished that Lothar had not left and wondered if he would return if she asked him to.
That may cause more harm than good. I would hate great-grandmother to be horrid to Lothar.Gemma thought as it dawned on her that her quick pace was making her feel more out of breath. She stopped and flopped onto a large rock. The relief she felt in her legs was immense and Gemma wished she could extend its condition to her heart.
Do I want Lothar more now that it may be that I may no longer see him? No, I like Lothar as a person. Not for his title or to spite my great-grandmother.Gemma thought and felt pleased that she felt that way.
Something inside Gemma felt daring. She did not need to go into the house to hear her fate. Whatever they had decided she wanted to spend time with Lothar. They had two months left and she would not be made to go back on a promise. When Lothar had won their chess game, he had earned the two months they had left.
My great-grandmother is quick to discuss how dishonored our family would be if Lothar was still with the baroness. It would cause more disgrace for me to go against my word,Gemma thought as she started to suffer from a headache.
Gemma rubbed at her temples and tried to make her way back to her sleeping quarters before she was summoned. Gemma sat at her writing desk and chose the nicest piece of writing paper she had. Gemma opened a small drawer thatcame out below the desk and took out an ink well. She filled it with care and dipped her quill in a few times, testing if it had sufficient ink to start writing with.
Dear Lothar
I have decided to send a note as I miss you terribly. Please do join me for tea as we discussed, however do try to be here as early as possible as there is a family member I would much like you to meet.
Yours Gemma
They are not going to condemn him before great-grandmother has the opportunity to meet him first. I am sure once she meets him, she will see things the way we all do.Gemma thought as she folded the letter with care to place a wax seal where it was open. Gemma walked to find Ashley discreetly.
She found her reading with a cup of tea.
“Good afternoon.” Gemma said softly as to not startle her.
“My Lady, good afternoon! How may I help?” Ashley said as she got up.
“I am terribly sorry to disturb you.” Gemma said and meant it.
“Not at all, My Lady.” Ashley replied with a fond smile. Gemma truly liked Ashley and thought that they may have been sisters in another time they got along so well. It was not just Ashley having the good manners to be friendly, she had many of the same interests such as art and reading.
“I wonder if you could give this to one of the groomsmen perhaps” Gemma asked, not sure who would be able to get a letter to its destination at almost sunset.
“Leave it to me, My Lady.” Ashley replied, seemingly sensing Gemma’s discomfort.
“Thank you,” Gemma said before leaving.
It is done. That letter should get Lothar’s attention and should let him know that I intend to give our last two months an effort from my side.Gemma thought as she went back through the gardens to the main house. Gemma paused for a moment when she noticed her great-grandmother walking towards her.
“A word.” Her great-grandmother said and waited for Gemma to come closer. She then turned on her heels and headed into the house
Gemma knew it was best to follow her. Gemma felt sick with worry and hardly understood why she felt that way.
Why do I worry about something I do not want. Being a wife is a big responsibility, being a mother even more so. It is not a decision that should be taken as lightly as many people do.Gemma thought as she waited for her great-grandmother to be seated. Gemma took a seat close enough to hear her speak but that put a little distance between them. The woman did not exude an air of tenderness.
“I believe your father has blessed this courtship?” Her great-grandmother asked.
“That is right, great-grandmother.” Gemma replied.
“He was rather adamant that this courtship run its course. I of course do agree with the sentiment, though I feel it should not be with him.” Her great-grandmother said and rushed the servant who had just arrived with a tea tray.
