“You really loved her, did you not?”
“I did,” he replied, his words having a tinge of sadness laced in them. “Only if my love had been a little stronger and had stayed, she might have been alive today, or at least her last day could have been much better.”
What does that mean?
“Death is written for each one of us, My Lord,” Ophelia replied, completely ignoring the scenery before her to look at Edward instead. “She left when her time came, and no matter what you did or how different the situation would have been, she still would have passed away.”
“You might be right,” he replied, motioning the carriage driver to turn back around, “but it still weighs heavily on me since I could have done a lot of things much differently, yet I did not.”
Ophelia noticed they were heading back, feeling a little more comfortable again as the eyes on them decreased once the park was behind them. Just as Rosalina had hoped, almost everyone present at the park had seen them ride together, and word would soon spread.
“I hope you can someday learn to let go of the guilt and allow yourself happiness. If you continue to blame yourself, it is never going to work,” Ophelia reasoned.
She could see how Edward blamed himself for Margaret’s death but did not have the courage to ask him why. She was certain the topic was already more than painful for him and Ophelia had no desire to bring out that pain unreasonably, making Edward feel even glummer than he already did.
They finally arrived back at the manor, Edward helping Ophelia step down from the carriage. They both noticed another carriage standing just by the door, indicating that there was a visitor. Edward treaded in carefully with Ophelia behind him as both of them stayed silent until they stood right outside the drawing room where Ophelia could clearly hear Rosalina’s voice, who was conversing with Alice.
Ophelia was certain she had only called on the house to find a way to spend time with Edward as she had only appeared increasingly desperate last night.
She would go to any lengths to get Edward, and this appeared to be one such instance.
“I will be in the nursery, so Lady Alice does not recognize me,” Ophelia whispered, rushing away as Edward opened the door.
Ophelia stayed on the staircase for a few seconds, hearing everyone talk in the drawing room as Alice greeted Edward warmly, and he being a perfect gentleman, greeted her back. Ophelia knew all of it was just customary, and Edward felt nothing for Alice, yet a pang of jealousy stabbed through her heart, making her feel terrible.
I need to leave.
Everything she felt regarding Edward was always intense, and Ophelia needed to distance herself. Thankfully, she had Amy to escape to. She continued to stand there as Edward asked Alice about her health, and she replied to him in her softest voice.
I should not be feeling this way. This is wrong.
Despite that, Ophelia had no control over her feelings. She simply forced herself to walk away, making her way straight to Amy, where a maid was looking after her. Ophelia hugged the little girl, stroking her to sleep, finally feeling some semblance of peace again.
‘
Her growing feelings for Edward would only ever cause her problems, and Ophelia needed to find a solution for it, even if she had to maintain distance between her and the only man she had ever felt this way for.
***
Breathing a deep sigh of relief, Edward went inside his study, finally trying to tackle himself free from Alice and Rosalina. Alice had only come to call on him and hence did not wish him to leave, while Rosalina did not want to be alone with Alice and forced him to stay with her.
He was left with no choice, even when he hated every minute of it.
“Thank you for finally getting me out of there, God,” he whispered into the empty study, chuckling slightly at his own behaviour.
Although it was not his fault.
Lady Alice was as uninteresting as any person could be, and spending time in her company had never brought Edward any pleasure or happiness. In fact, she made him miserable and bored, and he always needed to maintain distance to find his sanity again. Although, he knew from experience that it was not just her fault and every woman of the ton was just as boring.
Do I really need to spend my life with one such woman? Just so I can have an heir when the time comes?
The very thought pained him.
His heart constantly kept whispering how it was entirely unnecessary, and he could just marry someone like Ophelia. Or perhaps, he could just marry Ophelia herself, but he told himself it was impossible. It was simply a thought that could never be brought to life, considering the circumstances in which they were caught up.
He shook his head, not wishing to tread down that path again.
He picked up a large pile of letters placed on his desk, quickly beginning to go through them one after the other. Almost all of them were work-related, while some of them wereinvitations, which Edward knew he might end up ignoring. He tore open yet another letter, beginning to read.
