She was no more. And it had just been one month. All of it was extremely hard for Edward to believe and absorb, the wounds on his chest still fresh.
“Did I ask, Mrs Bailey?” He did not try to hide his annoyance through his words, making sure the housekeeper knew how he felt.
“It is my duty to inform you what is going on with the child since she is your niece, My Lord. She was completely fine all day, but she cried all evening and was checked by the village physician, but she is alright. He made her a potion, and now she is sound asleep,” she replied, not one bit affected by Edward’s sour attitude. He wondered if she had become so used to it in the past month that it hardly affected her anymore.
“I do not care,” he replied, emptying the glass in his hands in one gulp and slapping it back on the bar counter, “please do not come and waste my time with useless information regarding Amy. I am sure you are taking good care of her, which is all I actually need to know.”
“I have to discuss something important with you regarding Miss Amy, My Lord. Things are not as good as you think they are,” she added, and Edward sighed deeply. Was he even capable of having such a mature conversation?
It had been the entry of his niece into his life that had taken away his carefree bachelor’s life and handed him the responsibility of a child. His world has fallen apart entirely, and everything about his position had changed. He could not help disliking the little girl even if she had done nothing. It was her mere presence that had turned into trouble.
“What is it?”
“We cannot continue the way we are going on with Miss Amy right now. It is unfair and unhealthy for a child as young as her who requires proper care by someone who has cared for children earlier and is both kind and responsible. A child is a lot of work.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, unable to understand.
“Miss Amy keeps being palmed off from servant to servant every day and night and cannot find motherly love and affection in this manner. The child is being deprived of the basic care she requires, which is beginning to show in her behaviour.”
“And what can I do about that?”
“We must hire a nanny for her to have a proper routine and just one person taking care of her. This will be much better for everyone in the household. The little girl must have some semblance of stability in her already turbulent life, and we must play an active part in ensuring it,” Mrs Bailey went on, staring Edward straight in the eyes, “both you and us.”
What is that supposed to mean?
However, the questions spilling from her eyes were enough to give Edward an idea of what she really wanted to say to him. Like every other servant in the household, every maid had been gossiping about what might be happening inside the main house and why Edward behaved this cruelly with a little girl. His mood yesterday had been sour with everyone; hence, everyone recognized this change. He had never been this way before. This one incident had changed him.
Completely.
He had heard them whispering about how, as her uncle and only guardian, it was his duty to take care of her and spend time with her, although he would never be able to do that. Not with Amy. His sister had left this world, and Amy possessed a part of her, but Edward would never be able to access it. He had never come close to her, not even after she grew up and became a young woman.
“So you wish to hire a nanny to take care of Amy?”
“I believe that is the necessary course of action, My Lord, and the only one which might help Miss Amy grow and nourish in a healthier manner.”
“Well then that shall be done.” Edward nodded, entirely uninterested in the whole matter. “Do whatever is necessary. If you believe you must conduct interviews for the position, you can always advertise in the newspaper. Or if you already know someone, you can hire them.”
“I will conduct interviews for the position, My Lord,” Mrs Bailey replied formally, turning around with a curtsy before leaving the study. Edward watched as the door closed behind her, leaving him all alone with his grief yet again.
My grief. Will it ever lessen?
How could he ever forget the loss of his dear sister, one he loved and had the most precious childhood memories of? How could he be expected to emerge from that loss in the span of a month and focus all of his strength on taking care of a child?
A child.
She is just a child. A two-month-old baby. How can I be this mean to her? How could I have turned into the terrible person who has consumed my entire personality and filled me with unimaginable hatred towards an innocent little girl?
Edward truly wished he could explain this to himself or perhaps explain it to the servants, but it was impossible. They judged him for being cruel to his own niece, and they would forever do so since Edward had neither the heart nor the will to open up to the girl. He simply couldn’t.
He sunk into the sofa, the darkness and solitude of the study feeling like a burden. Tears began to fall down his face uncontrollably as he once again remembered Margaret, his beautiful sister.
He was an awful man. He knew it.
I wish I could have you back for a few minutes, Margaret. I wish I could talk to you once before you left this world.
The choice had never been his to make. He placed both his hands on his head, his headache returning. He wanted to find a cure for his grief.
But there were none.
