How had she been granted her biggest wish?
The love of her life.
“Edw …” She opened her mouth to speak, but her words drowned in the music, silence ensuing in her ears.
They continued to twirl around until her head began to grow dizzy, her eyes lost focus, and darkness filled her vision. Edward was beginning to fade, and Ophelia did not like that at all. Something was not right about this whole thing.
She opened her eyes, sweat beads forming on her skin as she continued to breathe heavily. Disappointment filled her, knowing that the ball had been nothing but a dream where she had been on the verge of losing everything anyway. She did not know if she should be glad it was only a dream, but it felt too real.
“Edward,” Ophelia whispered, realizing how, in the dream, she had loved him.
She had wanted to tell him she loved him, but she could not do that.
“No, no,” she said to herself firmly, “I do not love him. I cannot love him. It was nothing but a pathetic dream with no semblance of reality. I cannot love him.”
Her words felt like nothing but false reassurance as if she was trying to believe something that was not true, especially after what had happened today in his study. She did not know what had come over her in the moment, but it had been impossible to take her eyes off him, and he also felt the same way.
They had shared a moment.
“Oh God,” Ophelia stepped out of bed, wiping the sweat off her forehead as her eyes fell on Amy’s sleeping form. She was sleeping soundly, and the little girl’s presence allowed her to feel a little at ease with the whole solution. “I cannot begin to have feelings for Edward. Not now. Not ever.”
She knew how terribly wrong it would be if something happened between them, considering that for Edward, she would always just be a nanny, someone far beneath his ownposition. Although, the dream could simply be about the conversation they had today, which had grown heated in mere seconds, and their eye contact had ruined everything.
Despite that, she was still proud of herself for standing up for Amy and making sure that Edward knew he was in the wrong. That had been her genuine intention with the whole thing, and she had managed to make it happen. However, whatever dreams she had or whatever she might feel towards Edward were temporary.
She was never going to let it grow into anything.
Chapter 9
“Miss Jennings?” Edward’s gaze fell on Ophelia the moment he entered his study, her back facing the door, which had been left open. She jumped at his voice, clearly not expecting him to barge in on her in this manner, but Edward controlled his chuckle at her reaction.
She had been putting books back on the shelf as he knew she had been borrowing books from him since he had told her she could. He hardly had the time to read himself; hence, it felt good to him that his prized collection was at least coming into use by someone.
“My Lord,” she replied, out of breath with alarm, “I did not know you would be back so soon. I had no desire to come in your way!”
“You did no such thing,” he said dismissively, walking inside. “The weather was hardly apt for riding, and I decided to return early. I see you are returning the books you borrowed?”
Ophelia nodded. “And taking a few others.”
As he stepped closer, the familiar scent of roses exclusive to her and her alone wafted up his nose, reminding him of the time when the two of them had been unable to look away from one another in this study. It had been two weeks since thatincident, and he had noticed how Ophelia had maintained her distance from him, clearly just as affected by the whole thing as he was. He, too, had wanted to stay away, even though he had missed her company.
“Yes, yes,” she replied. “I was done reading the ones I borrowed last week, so I just returned to take a few new books.”
“You never have to worry about me being here or not here. You are welcome whenever you wish to get more books, Miss Jennings.”
“That is very kind of you, My Lord,” she said, her smile making the dark study much brighter.
Something about her simply brought light alongside her, and Edward could not determine the cause of it. Her presence had a calming effect, the concept being entirely new but rather welcome to him. This was why he hated being distant from her; it took away the peace she had made him feel.
He walked closer, intrigued regarding her reading choice since the very beginning. When she had first borrowed books, he remembered her taking both history and philosophy, but since then, she had made sure to only come into the study in his absence.
“What are you planning to read this time?” he asked, standing at a good distance to avoid making her uncomfortable.
The argument they had last night lay forgotten between them, but the memories of the feelings of that night were still aptly present. As much as Edward wished to relive it, he knew he could not. Not when he had no space in mind or heart to worry about anything else besides Margaret. His sister consumed all his thoughts, and Edward had no desire to welcome anyone or anything else.
“You have a rather interesting collection of books based on geography. I have always been fond of travelling and wanting to explore the depths of this world, and these books have been helping me learn about it and travel, at least through my imagination.” She chuckled softly, ringing her hands.
Edward wondered if she was shy or nervous or if her mind, too, was consumed by thoughts of their previous encounter.
