As a maid, she had never had the blessing to wear such things, but she couldn’t help admiring them in the briefest of moments. It was all too easy to be distracted by the luxury and the beauty that Caroline occasionally took for granted.
“Oh, this is hopeless.” Caroline flung herself back down on the bed again, narrowly missing one of the dresses that Alaina managed to snatch up in time. “I cannot comfort my heart as you can comfort yours. I know I shall be miserable there. I know it! Why? Because I am being ordered around like a piece on a chessboard. That is how my father sees me; I am sure of it.”
“Perhaps you should start considering what you will like about this move rather than what you are dreading,” Alaina suggested with hope as she tried to stuff more shoes into a second portmanteau that she placed on the floor. “There must be something.”
“Hmm.” Caroline sat up in thought.
All around them, the air was growing dusky and dark. Within a few hours, they would be asleep, and time would race forward until the next morning, when they would embark on their journey. At the thought, Alaina glanced towards the window and the setting sun.
She couldn’t help being hopeful, even if Caroline refused to be. A new place, with so many new people, was it so wrong of Alaina to hope that perhaps amongst those people, she would meet someone? That perhaps she would not have to live her life alone forever?
“Yes, there is one good thing at least,” Caroline said, sitting forward and picking up shoes to help Alaina with the packing.
“What’s that?” Alaina asked, shifting her focus away from the window.
“I shall not have to see my father so much.” Caroline wrinkled her nose. “He and I have always been like cats and dogs. I shall be delighted not to have to see him every day.” The triumph with which she declared these words made Alaina still as she kneeled beside the pile of shoes.
Why can they not just be friends?
Alaina’s heart suddenly ached. It was a pain that so often she had tried to stuff down over the years, to hide completely from her friend, though sometimes it was impossible to shift that ache.
I have never known my parents. Caro doesn’t know what it is like to have no parents at all.
“Are you all right?” Caroline asked, clearly noticing her sudden quietness.
“Yes, I’m quite fine,” Alaina whispered, hurrying to return to the packing. She kept her face averted from her friend, just in case the teary eyes would be noticeable. She blinked as much as she possibly could until she was certain the tears were gone. “It’s nearly time for bed. Perhaps some sleep will help you feel better about tomorrow.”
Caroline snorted once more as she flung herself onto the floor beside Alaina and the bag of shoes.
“How can you be so full of hope?” Caroline asked, her eyes wide like a puppy dog.
“One must have a happy heart.” Alaina smiled widely, turning her face up. “There is no other way to live.”
“No, Ally.” Caroline sighed, her tone growing serious. “How do you do it? How do you shift the troubles of your heart and just be … happy?”
Alaina busied herself for a second, stuffing two pairs of shoes into the bag, but sensing Caroline was not going to let this go, she soon resigned herself to having to answer. She shifted on the floor, turning to face her friend.
“Caro, we have had different lives,” she whispered gently. “You have the fortune of being born the daughter of an earl to this finery. Please, believe me when I say how fortunate that is.” Caroline blushed a deep shade of red and looked down at her knees. “I am an orphan. I am not ignorant of what life has been like for some orphans in this world. Some have ended up in the workhouses, others on the street. I have seen first-hand how fortunate my lot in life has been to be raised in your household as a servant, ready to take my place as your lady’s maid.” She smiled gently. “Maybe my life isn’t perfect, but goodness, I know it could be worse. I must be grateful for my lot in life.”
Caroline smiled a little.
“Oh, Ally. Maybe I am sometimes spoiled.”
“You’re not spoiled.” Alaina laughed, shaking her head. “You just have a strong heart and don’t want to marry a man you do not love. I cannot blame you for that.” She reached out and laid a hand over Caroline’s. “Yet this is not the end of the world. I pray you would believe me about that.” She paused, waiting to see the words sink in. Slowly, Caroline nodded. “Besides, we may yet find you a way out of this mess.” Alaina returned to the packing with vigour now as Caroline stood and walked away, hurrying to fetch them a candle as the light was fading fast.
“May that be true,” Caroline said with a heavy sigh. “May I not just have a future before me where I do not have to marry the Duke of Peddleton, but a future I truly love.”
“What do you mean?” Alaina said distractedly, struggling to fit some more shoes into the case.
“I mean …” Caroline paused. “Maybe there is more I want out of life other than just being a wife to any man.”
Alaina looked at her friend curiously, but Caroline seemed intent on not saying any more. She lit a candle and stared out of the window, gazing at the setting sun beyond.
***
“Was he not infuriating?”
“Hmm.” Alaina didn’t answer properly. Since they had climbed into the carriage, Caroline had scarcely drawn breath in her complaining. Alaina stared out the carriage window on their journey, her curiosity making her sit forward and press her face near the window. The busy streets of London had fallen away, and they had travelled through country lanes bordered with richly coloured oak and sycamore trees, large and curved leaves offering dappled shade in the heated sun. Birds tweeted nearby, landing on branches as if coming to peer at the carriage travelling through their territory before taking flight and carrying on their own journeys.
