However, he also felt that there might just be something more to his friend’s advice than he was letting on.
“You mean to spark rumors about somethingotherthan yourself?” Richard’s brow rose as he looked at his friend incredulously. “I might be stuck here, but I have still seen the scandal sheets the same as any. Over and over, they look to ask whom you might be involved with. The lack of your attendance at balls is setting them all a flurry.”
Anthony blushed. Actually blushed. Richard had never seen his friend make such an expression.
“Do you say there is actual merit to these speculations? Have you finally allowed for your heart to be captured at last, my dear friend?” Richard asked with good humor in his voice.
“Perhaps,” Anthony intoned ominously.
“Who is the fortunate young lady? I hope that you have at least chosen a young woman who understands and appreciates how fortunate she is to become,” Richard teased.
“No, it is I who am the fortunate one. Or at least, I hope to be,” Anthony said.
“What do you mean?” Richard asked.
Anthony leaned back heavily into his chair and sighed. “I mean that she is already wed to a man whom she does not love. It will provide an obstacle for us to overcome if we ever wish to be with one another in any sort of official capacity.”
It took Richard a fair few minutes too long to properly understand who he was referring to. “Lady Elizabeth?!”
Anthony nodded curtly. “Indeed…we have been attempting to find moments together with the help of Lady Catherine and her brilliant tea parties, but it is not enough. I wish to walk with her through the park. I wish to have her on my arm. I want to present her to the world as mine and no others. I want to scream my love for her from the rooftops…and I cannot. I…the fact that I must stay silent in the presence of such emotions fills me with despair.”
Richard felt for his friend. He truly did. He had some of the same feelings about Catherine and the things that he wished to confess to her…the things that he would say to her if she had not already made her mind up that there was a definitive end date to their arrangement.
“She is concerned that the moment she divorces her husband, she will be ruined…and then she has expressed fear that her common birth would matter to me. As if I could care less that she is the daughter of a vicar! I find the calling to be a very worthy one!” Anthony continued. “I would not care about her birth or her social standing—the way that I feel for her cannot be limited by such things. She is…she is a force of life itself, Richard.”
The poor man seemed nearly in fits with grief over a love that he was unsure if he would ever be allowed to have. Richard did not know what to say. It made him wish to march across the house, scoop Catherine up into his arms, and kiss her for all that he was worth so that he couldshowher the truth of the feelings that he had for her.
“You ought to tell her,” Richard said softly, gently so as not to insult his friend’s struggle. “I know that it might seem like an impossible task to undergo so simply as putting it into words…but if she does not know the truth of your heart, you owe it to you both to at least say something. It will never have the chance to flourish and grow into anything if you do not.”
He should have done the same thing.
Richard knew that he had been so desperate on his own to press matters into where they were that he would have agreed toanythingto have Catherine at his side…and now he was kicking himself for it.
“No matter what comes of it,” Richard continued. “You cannot allow anyone or anything to stand in the way of true love.”
Sound advice, he thought to himself.Something that perhaps he ought to listen to better himself.
Chapter 23
He is testing me, Catherine thought to herself as she crossed her legs. Her foot bounced angrily as she attempted to channel some of her frustration out of her body in the least destructive way possible.Rather, he must be testing my patience entirely.
He had locked the ballroom.
Locked it.
The only place with access to the small collection of musical instruments in the entire bleak and bleary estate. The only place where she had been able to feel like herself, within these cursed walls. The only place where she could make music to soothe her overly exhausted soul and try to make improvements to her situation.
So, ofcourse,he had taken it away. Ofcourse,he had eliminated the music because it was too loud and ‘vexed’ him. She should have known better. The old, miserable man was against anything that brought joy.
So here she sat, stewing in her anger and wishing that Richard would find her. At least then, she would have someone to speak with—somebody who she could vent her frustrations out upon, so that she would be certain to not be in this alone. She did not wish to be alone any longer. The plan was moving too slowly.
They were due to meet in only a few days’ time to move on to the next plan after Richard had gotten enough reason to lure the duke away for the afternoon for her to move…but she was going out of her mind.
“My lady?”
Catherine did not fully realize that she was being spoken to until the servant was practically upon her.
“I beg your pardon, my lady. I have a letter here for you,” the woman spoke quickly and in hushed tones as if she were afraid that she was going to be overheard. The shifty way that she glanced back over her shoulder only further indicated the apparent stress that the young woman presently felt.
