But being down the hall from Richard every night when she craved his touch? It was becoming miserable. She played the consummate lady every minute of the waking day.
She knew that all of the duke’s servants were her enemy. They would report every move that she made back to him, just as they had been doing for weeks now. It would have been made far more tolerable if her shoulders were not in knots upon waking every morning.
The tension had built slowly over the last few weeks.
First, it was the longing for his touch. Each evening, they sat beside one another for the tense, uncomfortable dinners that they were forced to share with the duke. Then, the dreams had started once again. Now, they had real memories to pull from that made her wet and uncomfortable every time she saw Richard. She did not know whether it was a mercy or a curse that the duke was running him absolutely ragged.
The few times that he was allowed in the home and not forced away on business, it was not as much of an act to seem the love-struck new bride when she saw him. She genuinelymissedhim whenever he was away.
She longed to be near him, and yet even a conversation was hard to have when the very walls themselves seemed to have ears. It was so hard to find time to be alone with her husband because the duke’s servants trailed her everywhere they went. Even into their rooms, they were followed if they were not overly cautious.
Richard had snuck into her room the first night that they had stayed here, more to check on her than anything else. She would not deny that it was difficult staying under the same roof as the man who had so carelessly thrown her family to the wolves. The duke was, in her mind, directly responsible for her father taking his life in the way that he had.
It was a comfort that he cared so deeply for her wellbeing. He had kissed her, and she had allowed it. She should not have gotten carried away….but they had both come to their senses. It would be harder still to be intimate together under the same roof as the duke.
At the time, she had insisted that it would be for the very best of them both that they keep their distance while in private. The night that they had shared, while private, had been to consummate the marriage only. A marriage with an expiration date at that.
Both of which were her ideas.
What a foolish woman she was.
There was no reason that she should not be able to enjoy her husband for the time that they were together. Perhaps it was foolish pride or simply sheer stubbornness that had forced her tongue to speak such stupid notions…and now she suffered for it.
A month of underhanded comments and outright verbal brutality from the duke to attempt to force her to leave Richard made her want nothing more than to crawl into Richard’s arms and stay there. She wanted to fall asleep to the rhythm of his heart beating so that she might have some peace, even if just for a few hours.
Though, perhaps the temptation of being near to him was a bad idea.
She could only imagine that if they continued, a child would inevitably result. She could not endure pregnancy and the duke at the same time. She would never be able to do it.
He would be the very worst sort of grandfather. They would have to leave here. Then, their plan would be ruined. The dismantling of the duke was a delicate process. She would weather it. Then, she and Richard would figure out what was next for them afterward.
The thoughts swirled over and over again in her mind on a constant loop. She could not allow herself to get distracted. No matter how badly she craved his touch. He respected her wishes. Perhaps a littletoo much. He could have put up just alittlemore of a fight.
Catherine wondered just how much fight was left in Richard. The days were wearing on him. He was sleeping poorly, and she wanted to help. The fight that had broken out this morning between himself and the duke over breakfast was not one that had a clear winner. As was the outcome more and more often. It made Richard snippy and more apt to speak without thinking. Including snapping at her from time to time.
She needed to dosomething.
Letters were sent out this morning to both his best friend, Anthony, and her own best friend, Elizabeth. While the letters from her mother were always welcome, she did wish to check in on her friend and hear the updates for herself. Besides, she knew that it was likely a long time since Elizabeth had been in the city…and Catherine wished to see a few friendly faces.
It would do Richard a world of good as well.
Never mind that Elizabeth and Anthony might choose to spend some of that time…getting to know one another better. It was just an added benefit, in her opinion.
Both had accepted her invitation just after lunch, which meant that Catherine was presently scrambling around the house ordering unwilling servants to do her bidding in getting ready to host a very long afternoon tea for her friends. Nobody would tell her if Richard would be home in time, but she would have to worry about that later.
The tables and refreshments were set out. The aroma of the special blend of tea that she had made herself from herbs that she had dried and picked over her stay here was brewing. It was the same blend that Elizabeth had taught her how to make.
It was the smell of a life that she missed, a simpler home. She hoped that Elizabeth would be content to stay with her for a few days. She needed to relax and restore some sense of normalcy to her life if she was being wholly honest.
What she wasnotexpecting, however, was for the duke to suddenly decide that she was worthy of speaking to. Or, at the very least, worthy of insulting her to her face.
He stood against the wall leading to the back door of the home. She had turned to fetch some of the flowers from inside to set the table with as a finishing touch that the servants did not seem to wish to help her with more than was strictly necessary. Which she should have expected. They were not there to serve her, married into the family or not.
“What do you think that you are doing?” the duke asked angrily.
The surest way to infuriate him would be to ignore the question entirely.
“Excuse me, Your Grace. I am very busy this afternoon,” Catherine gave as an answer and attempted to walk past him with her head held high.
