“Concerns,” Rachel said. “About the reason why we are going to wed. I suppose this might seem silly, but I always wanted a love match for my future husband. I hardly know you enough for that to happen and we are already engaged.”
“Are you saying that love is a prerequisite for any match you would have?”
“Well, yes,” Rachel said. “I understand that emotions can unfold after people marry, but I thought I would have been given time to know the lord I would walk down the aisle with.”
He looked amused. “A love match is a rare thing in our class, dear. Half the people I know are in marriages of convenience for one reason or the other.”
“I know that,” Rachel sighed, while glancing out the window. “I thought I had a chance at beating the odds.”
“My parents married at twenty, consummated enough to conceive my sister and me, then went their separate ways,” Strathmore shrugged. “In everything but name. They still live in the same property, but mother and sister live in the dowager house while father and I live in the main.”
Rachel gasped. “That’s horrible.”
He shrugged. “Not entirely. There are no fights, they are free to do what they please, and no one raises a ruckus when the other brings their lover of the night over.”
Rachel’s mouth hung open. Soon, she shook her head, “Beg your pardon?”
“My parents have other lovers,” he said simply.
Stunned, she sat back at the horrid revelation. How couldanyonelive like that?
“I have shocked you, haven’t I?” Strathmore said unapologetically. “I hate to take the veil from your eyes, but that is how countless marriages in the ton work. They are a happy couple in public, but it is a different situation behind closed doors.”
It felt like bitter medicine to swallow. “Are you saying this might happen to us?”
He cocked his head. “No.”
Rachel did not believe him. And moreover, she felt that he had left out a few keywords.Not if you don’t give me a reason for it.
“So, you do not believe in love marriages then,” Rachel decided to divert to a safer part of the conversation.
“Not necessarily. I just think it might come or it might not,” Strathmore shrugged.
Turning to the window, Rachel felt another part of her hope die. “I suppose so.”
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter 20
It had taken him a while to mix the exact shade of blue that was Rachel’s eyes; just that much black, that much white, and that much blue. Now that he had the shade down, he added it to the canvas.
A week had started from the day Rachel had found him in the garden and when her mother had pulled her away to meet Lord Strathmore. The background made of the fake path and flowers had been painted in, and he was painstakingly filling in Rachel’s bust.
He did not want to rush, but there was not much time to linger either. So, he strode to keep the pace brisk but used the time to get the details right. His hand barely made a stroke as he filled in Rachel’s eyes. Pausing, he added another dab before he reached for another brush and began to detail her lashes.
It was late, and though the oil in his lamp was burning low, he strode to get her eyes right before he retired. To him, Rachel’s eyes spoke most to him. She might not be aware of it, but every emotion she felt was shown in her eyes. William knew when Rachel was upset, humored, or tired by the various glimmers in her eyes. Lately, all he had seen from her were wariness and dread, and he hated it.
She deserved to be happy, laugh loudly, smile, and swoon and be who she was. It was not fair for Rachel to stifle who she was to let her parents feel happy.
Pulling his hand away, William looked at the painted eyes and, for a final touch, dabbed another brush into the white pigment and added some light to her eyes. Sitting away, he sighed, then stood up and carried his brushes to the pail on the other side of the room and rinsed them all.
After spreading the bushes out to dry under a cloth, he ensured that the canvas was fixed where it would dry before he disrobed and donned his nightclothes.
Dousing the lamp, he slipped into bed with a faint hope that he would see Rachel the next day. The most he had seen her in the past week had been glances and glimpses. He wanted to see her, speak with her, touch her, kiss her even, but that damned Lord Strathmore had monopolized her time.
Even if it is a moment alone…I would be happy.
***
