It had always been real.
And he had failed her in every way that counted.
Lexy dropped to her knees, bruising them against the cobblestones as she scrambled to gather the photos, to hide them, to make them disappear—but her hands collided with Leon’s when they both reached for the same image at the same time, and his touch—
His touch, which had given her so much pleasure just hours ago, which had made her feel cherished and wanted and finally, finally seen—
It burned now.
She jerked back like she’d been scalded, and she watched something shatter in his expression, watched him withdraw his hands and hold them up in a gesture of surrender that made her heart crack even further.
“I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely. “I’m so sorry, Lexina.”
She didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer. She just gathered the rest of the photos with shaking hands and shoved them back into the envelope and forced herself to stand on legs that felt like they might give out at any moment.
He rose with her.
And when she tried to walk past him, he blocked her path.
“Please.” His voice was ragged in a way she’d never heard before. “May we talk—”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” The words came out brittle, mechanical. “We don’t have to stick with Adriano and Shayla if that’s what it takes to—”
“I love you.”
The words hit her like a physical blow.
She actually swayed, actually felt her vision blur at the edges, becauseoh—oh, those words.What she would have given just a day ago to hear them. What she would have sacrificed, what she would have forgiven, what she would have done.
But now she knew the truth.
Now she knew it was nothing but guilt dressed up as devotion, pity disguised as love, and she could not—would not—let herself be fooled again.
She forced herself to look up. Forced herself to meet his tawny eyes, those eyes that had looked at her with such tenderness in Manhattan, such hunger, such need. Forced herself to smile even though it felt like her face might crack from the effort.
“You don’t have to pity me.” Her voice wavered despite her best efforts. “I’m going to be okay—”
“But I’m not.” He stepped closer, and she stepped back, and they moved together like dancers in some terrible waltz. “I’ve already told Aivan I’m not going to race. We can test the system in other ways, in secret—”
“Stop feeling guilty!”
“I can’t.” The words tore out of him, raw and wrecked. “Because I am guilty. I’m guilty of hurting you even if I didn’t mean for it to happen. But worst of all—” His voice broke. “Worst of all, I’m guilty of not realizing that God gave me what I needed before I even knew what to pray for.”
Lexy’s breath caught.
He reached for her face, and she tried to push him away, tried to put distance between them, but he was too close and she was too weak and—
“No, stop it!” The words came out sharper than she intended. “Lydia said you left her because you owed it to me—”
“She lied.”
The way he cut her off so, so fiercely—
Oh, how she wished it was enough to make her believe him!
But it was not.
And so she started to shake her head, started to tell him that this conversation was pointless—
