“Sure, Jaxon.” My voice trembles and he smiles at me. My heart flutters and my whole body flares with heat.
Dammit, this is serious. I don’t have time to deal with whatever’s going on here. We’re in trouble.
He holds his gloved hand out though and I pause one second then put my gloved hand in his. It closes around mine and everything goes still. My racing heart, my chaotic thoughts…all of it.
“Trust me, Red. I’m not letting anything happen to you. We’re going to be fine.”
Nodding, I let him lead me down the mountain again. But before we get more than five minutes down, the snow comes thick and fast. It sticks like frosty tape to my eyelashes and I can’t blink fast enough to clear my eyes. Jaxon’s just a dark shape in the whirlpool of white and if he wasn’t holding onto myhand so hard I don’t think we’d still be together. It’s impossible to see anything but white at this point.
My breath shudders in and out in a stream of constant white that’s barely visible in the flakes. Jaxon’s moving faster now and we’re not talking anymore.
Focus. We have to be getting close. As soon as we get back to the truck, it will all be fine. The truck has a heater. It’s shelter.
It’s safety.
But the whirlpool keeps whirling around us and I trip, hollering as I fall to my knees, my hand jerking out of Jaxon’s. Panic hits me. My eyes dart left and right, my heart hammering so hard it’s all I can hear.
“Jaxon!” I scream. I can’t see him and my hands clench at my side, sweat pooling in my sweater even in the freezing cold. Shaking, I stand up and jerk left and right. “Jaxon! Where are you?”
Arms surround me and I whip around, fighting to get away. “Hey, Red! It’s me. Stop it! I’ve got you. You’re alright.”
Sobs hit me and I step into him, feeling his warmth surround me like a force field. He wraps his arms tightly around me and I swear I feel his warm lips kiss the top of my head. “It’s alright, Red. I promise you. Nothing will ever happen to you when I’m around. I won’t let it.”
“You can’t promise that,” I sob. I know better than anyone except maybe him that life is fragile.
He leans down and his lips find mine and I taste him on my lips. My salty tears and his sweet taste. Like mint and sunshine. It warms me up and I wrap my arms around him, settling into his warmth. Then my vision goes white and all I feel is heat. Want.
He’s safety. He’s strength. He’s need.
He’s everything I want in a man. My heart stalls and I pull back, gasping. “I can’t do this.”
He wraps me into him. “Shhh. We don’t have to do a damn thing you don’t want, Red. But you’re safe with me.”
Am I?
He ducks down and even though he’s only a breath away, I can barely see him through the whirling maelstrom around us. But I see the determination in his dark eyes. “Do you trust me, Red?”
And for some damn reason I do. Nodding, I pull back and he holds out his hand again. Without a single thought I take it and he leads me away into the mess surrounding us. Like a giant wizard shook a snow globe and we’re fighting our way through it.
I trust this man. Trust him with every piece of me. Even if he decides to leave, I’m strong enough to get through it. I trust myself to be strong and keep going.
I want him. I feel like I need him. But I’m strong enough to go on without him.
I’m strong enough to survive Jared and Michael and anything else that comes my way.
I’m not laying down anymore and letting life go on around me while I lock my heart and my body down.
I’m going to live like they’d want me to. I’m going to love again. I think I’m pretty damn close to falling in love with Jaxon. But I’m not letting fear chase me away again.
I want to live. I want to love. I want all the things I lost when Michael died. When Jared died.
I want to make it out of this white world and back to reality and then I want to talk to Jaxon. I want to see where this thing between us goes.
It feels like forever, slogging through freezing cold snow and barely able to see more than a few inches in front of me. I should be losing my mind.
But I’m not. Because I’m not alone anymore. Jaxon’s here to protect me. Here to keep me safe.
And when the truck comes into view, I know what I want. Know what I need.
