She shoots me a dark look, her cheeks pale. “I am happy.”
“You’re surviving and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve been doing the same for a long time. I lost everyone that ever meant anything to me. But I put myself back out there. I’m living.”
She shoots me a narrow-eyed look. “You’re not living. You’re pushing all your pain down by fucking around with any woman you can get and doing your level best to stay heart-free. That’s not leaving yourself open to love, I hope you know.”
“Says the pot to the kettle.”
Her hand waves at me then she chuckles. “Okay. Point taken. Both of us are doing the same thing but in vastly different ways.”
We pull into the trailhead and I park the truck, turning to look at her. “I want you to know, that all of what you said is true. But I’m working on things right now. I’m trying. Can you say the same?”
She eyes me for a second and then nods her head, chewing on that luscious mouth again. “I think I might be.”
Grinning, I pull my key out and toss it up in the air. “So let’s go on a hike and see how things go from here.”
“I will if you will.”
She turns to jump out of the truck and then nods her head slowly. “I think this might be good for both of us.”
Smiling to myself, I quietly reply. “I think you’re absolutely right, Red.”
She gets her coat zipped and pulls on her gloves and we’re off, with me leading the way.
Off to an adventure and hopefully a good afternoon that turns into one of many.
CHAPTER 8
Aspen
He’s so different when you actually talk to him. When I first met him I thought all he was was a guy after a good time. Just like half the opportunistic men out there.
But he’s hurting. He’s lost so much. He doesn’t have anyone left and he’s afraid.
It’s interesting that I recognize self-protection in someone else but I never pushed myself to realize that I’m doing the same thing.
Would Jared and Michael want me to spend the rest of my life alone? No. They were my best friends, my life support most of my life. But they wouldn’t want me to give up and run from life.
I’ve been burying myself in taking care of other people and hiding my own scars, even from myself. How is that better than the people that I’m helping?
Simple answer…it’s not. They’re trying to work through their grief and loss and I’m trying to bury mine and focus on everyone else. I’m not willing to take my own prescription that I hand out so easily to everybody else.
“Where are we going?” I huff, uneasily watching the clouds shifting over the top of the peak. Is it my imagination or do they look darker, heavier?
“We’re going to this spot that I go to to think. It’s a cliff a little further up here. You can see the whole town from there. It really puts things into perspective.”
“How much further is it?” I ask, my breath puffing out harsher. The cold air stings in my lungs, burning like wildfire.
I guess it’s been too long since I went hiking.
“It’s only about half a mile.”
“Did you see the clouds up there?” I point upwards and his brow scrunches.
“They’re not calling for any snow until later tonight.” He hasn’t even finished the sentence and the first faint snowflakes drift down on us.
“That looks like snow, Jaxon. I think we better head back. It kinda looks like it’s moving in faster than they forecast.”
“Yeah. Okay. We’ll try this again another time, okay Red?”
