“I know who you are,” I deadpan, taking a page out of Kieran’s book.
She puckered her lips and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but I’m saying you’re not. You got kidnapped and held for two years. You let loose on that asshole who kidnapped you the second time, but besides that… maybe you’re not ready yet. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re going to college now, rooming with that Kelly chick. You’re moving on, so maybe that means you’ve subconsciously decided this isn’t the kind of life you want anymore.”
It was true, everything she said. My life had changed drastically these last five months. That said, I didn’t think just because my life had gone through some changes lately didn’t mean I was becoming a different person. A normal person.
“Or,” she said after a long pause, “you’re just scared to fully accept what it means if you really let yourself go. Maybe you’re worried Big Mike won’t want you, or maybe you still don’t want to disappoint dear old daddy. That Kieran guy and Fang, well, I think they’ll accept you no matter what. The big guy’s always been a little… stiff. And your dad—”
I knew exactly what my dad would say if he found out what Lola and I got up to tonight. Was I afraid of what it would mean, of who I’d become, if I let the darkness take me whole? I kept saying I wasn’t the same girl I used to be, but maybe old habits died hard; it was a saying for a reason. Maybe a small part of me wanted to be the perfect daughter… and perfect daughters didn’t go off killing whenever they wanted.
When I didn’t say anything, Lola went on, “Listen. I don’t think you have to worry about the big guy at all. From what Viper tells me, he’s head over heels for you. He might voice some disproval every now and then, but you have that mountain of a man wrapped around your cute little finger—and that’s not going to change anytime soon. And as for your dear dad—”
Our car started to drift into the next lane, but I didn’t say anything because there weren’t any nearby cars. You can betyour butt if we were surrounded by other vehicles, I’d be a backseat driver and point everything out.
“You spent your whole childhood, minus the two years you were locked up by your boyfriend—still don’t get it, but whatever—trying to make him happy. My parents were shitty people, some of the shittiest out there, so I never really saw what having good parents was like. But, you know, even with all that, I don’t think it’s your responsibility to make him happy. He’s the parent. He should be making you happy. You’re the kid. He should be taking care of you, not the other way around.”
She sighed. “My point is, girl, if you want to taste some blood every now and then, then you taste the fucking blood. There aren’t that many girls out there like you and me—I’d hate for you to spend the rest of your life fighting your urges and living in misery. What fun is that?”
“It’s not about my dad,” I muttered.
“Good. You were so pissed off at him when we first met. In reality, you don’t need him.”
I almost said,He’s my dad, but that’s not something Lola would understand, so instead I said, “He’s paying for college.” Couldn’t overlook how much money he was saving me by paying for the entirety of it out of his own pocket.
Then again, he was the mayor, so if he couldn’t afford to send his only kid to college, who could?
“So what? If you need money, I got loads of it. Hell, you can move in with me during your time off school if you need to. For you, girl, my door is always open.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s not my dad. It’s… everything is just changing so fast.”
“That’s life, buttercup. Take it from me: life is one huge rollercoaster, with ups and downs and everything in between. Sometimes it sucks ass, and other times it’s not bad. Sometimes you can even be happy. Speaking as someone who used to waitfor the police to catch her, strap her down, and stick a needle into her arm, I like to think my opinion on life actually means something.”
She was waiting to be caught and executed? Damn. I never knew that. If you looked at things with that as a reference, it wasn’t a wonder why she acted the way she did.
“Maybe a part of me feels like I can’t really relax yet, can’t, uh, let loose, because I’m waiting for Tessa to do something,” I admitted softly.
“I told you I could take care of that bitch for you, and I bet you’d have a few other attack dogs at your service, if you so choose,” Lola said. “You wanted to do things your way, try to give her an out. Things have been quiet since then, right?”
“Yeah.” Hadn’t seen hide nor hair from her, so I’d call it a win, but even so, it still felt like I had to watch out for her. Tessa wasn’t someone you could trust. What if she didn’t leave the city? What if she was waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike?
Should’ve just killed her. Lola was right.
“I want to say you’re probably worried over nothing, but with how things have gone for me… things don’t stay quiet for long. If you want, I can put some guys on trying to find Tessa and see what she’s up to. If she’s still in the city, we’ll find her.” The way she offered her services so easily made me smile.
“Maybe,” I relented. “Let me think about it.” Finding out if Tessa was still around would put me at ease, one way or another.
God, why did I want to show her mercy? I should’ve known it would come back to bite me in the ass one way or another.
Chapter Two – Fang
My princess had gone out with Lola tonight. As much as I’d wanted to go with her, I knew it was something she needed to do on her own—with Lola’s help, of course. My princess wanted to dive deeper into the dark, and who better to help her out than a serial killer?
Kieran no doubt did not approve of her new friend, and Mike… well, that one was difficult to read. Working for the Lucianos and Lola, living the life he had, he’d seen some shit. Done some shit, too. I had no idea if he was okay with Laina discovering her inner beast or if he did not approve.
Regardless, it didn’t matter. Ultimately, it came down to Laina and what she wanted. Whether she would give in to the darkness and become an animal like my brother, or if she would reject that very darkness and turn a new leaf… the choice was hers.
I would be hers no matter what she chose in the end. That girl had piqued my interest the first moment I saw her and had continued to do so since. I might have to share her with Kieran and Mike, but I was more than all right with that. There was simply no denying the connection.
When I got the message that Laina was close to home, I got ready to pick her up. The hour was late, but I would voluntarily lose sleep every night if it meant I got to spend more time with her. Now that she was in college, she wasn’t constantly around; I was glad she was making something more of herself, stepping out of her father’s shadow, so to speak, but I did miss her.
