I slip into the room, settling on the floor beside Maisie.
"Lucy!" She launches herself at me, showing me a new doll. "Look what Santa brought!"
"She's beautiful." I hug my niece, breathing in her little-kid smell—shampoo and candy canes and innocence.
Over her head, my eyes meet Ryder's. He smiles, small and private. For me.
I smile back.
We can do this. Pretend everything is normal. Hide this beautiful, complicated thing between us until he leaves and distance makes it easier.
Or destroys us completely.
But that's a problem for later. Right now, it's Christmas morning, and my family is happy, and Ryder is here. I'll take what I can get.
***
Later, after presents are opened and breakfast is eaten, I slip outside for air. The morning is cold, bright, perfect. Snow covers everything, turning Pine Hollow into a postcard.
The front door opens behind me.
"You okay?" Connor asks, coming to stand beside me.
"Yeah." I force a smile. "Just needed a minute. It's a lot in there."
"Maisie's pretty wound up." He's quiet for a moment. "You've seemed different lately. Happier, maybe. But also... I don't know. Sad?"
My heart skips. "I'm fine, Connor."
"You sure? Because if something's wrong, you can tell me. You know that, right?"
I look at my brother—solid, dependable Connor who's spent his whole life protecting me. Who would do anything for the people he loves. Who trusts Ryder completely and has no idea his best friend has been sleeping with his sister.
"I know," I say. "But I promise. I'm okay."
He studies me for another moment, then nods. "Okay. But Lucy? Whatever it is, whenever you're ready—I'm here."
He goes back inside.
I stay on the porch, watching the sun climb higher, and wonder how much longer we can keep this secret.
Wonder what will happen when it finally comes out.
The day passes in a blur of family time and forced normalcy. Dinner with everyone gathered around the table. Board games with Maisie. Connor and Ryder watching hockey highlights while I help Emma clean up. Every moment feeling both precious and fragile, like something that could shatter at any second.
That night, long after everyone else has gone to bed, I lie awake in my room, staring at the ceiling.
I can't sleep. My mind won't stop spinning. The memory of Ryder's silence when I said I loved him sits heavy in my chest. The key to his apartment burns in my pocket where I tucked it after getting dressed this morning. In a few days we'll go to the team's New Year's Eve party together—our first real public appearance as a couple, even if we haven't told Connor yet. And then—
And then he leaves for good.
My phone vibrates on the nightstand. A text from Ryder:You awake?
I type back:Yeah. Can't sleep.
Me neither. Meet me outside? Need some air.
I should say no. Should stay in bed where it's safe. But my feet are on the floor before I can think better of it.
