Lucy is quiet for a moment. Then she shifts closer. Takes my face in her hands.
"Let me tell you what I need," she says. "I need honesty. Even when it's hard. I need you to tell me when you're scared instead of running. I need you to try." Her thumbs stroke my jaw. "I don't need perfect, Ryder. I don't need promises you can't keep. I just need you to show up and do your best. Can you do that?"
The question lodges somewhere behind my ribs. Because she's not asking for forever. Not asking me to be someone I'm not. Just asking me to try.
"Yeah," I say. "I can do that."
"Then that's enough." She kisses me softly. "For now, that's enough."
I want to believe her. Want to believe that trying is enough. That I won't inevitably fuck this up the way I fuck everything up.
"Connor can't know," I say. "Not yet."
"I know." She nods. "He'd lose his mind."
"And I'm leaving January second." The words taste bitter. "I don't know what happens after. Don't know if we can make this work long-distance."
"So we don't think about after." She cups my face. "We think about now. About tonight. About however many days we have before you leave. And then we figure it out."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that." Her eyes are fierce. Clear. "I'm not asking you for forever, Ryder. I'm asking you for now. Can you give me that?"
The question lodges in my chest. Because she's not asking for promises I can't keep. Not asking me to be someone I'm not. Just asking me to be here. With her. For as long as we have.
"Yeah," I say. "I can give you that."
"Then stop talking about all the ways this might end." She leans in. Brushes her lips against mine. "And start showing me why it's worth the risk."
I pull her onto my lap. She comes willingly. Straddles me with her knees on either side of my hips. I grip her waist, and she settles down against me. The position puts us at eye level. Lets me see every flicker of emotion across her face.
"I've been thinking about this," I say, voice rough, "since you got in my truck. About taking my time. Doing this right. Making you feel exactly how much I want you."
Her breath catches. "Oh."
"Unless you want to just talk more about rules and expectations."
"No." She frames my face with her hands. "No more talking. Just us. Just this."
I kiss her. Slow at first. Relearning the shape of her mouth. The way she sighs when I suck on her bottom lip. The small sound in the back of her throat when I trace her lower lip with my tongue.
She melts into me. Her hands slide from my face into my hair. Pull. The sting makes me groan and grind my hips up. She gasps at the contact. At the hard length of me pressing against her through denim.
"Ryder." My name comes out breathless.
"What do you need?"
"More." She rocks her hips. Seeking friction. "Everything. I want everything."
The words nearly undo me. But I force myself to slow down. To savor this. Because I don't know how many nights we'll have. Don't know when reality will crash back in.
Tonight might be all we get. I'm going to make it count.
I slide my hands under her sweater. Her skin is warm silk under my palms. I trace her ribcage, and she arches into the touch. Her breasts press against my chest, and I can feel her nipples peaked through lace.
"Can I take this off?" I ask.
"Yes." No hesitation. "Please."
