“It’s less about your safety and more about what I can control. Besides, what do you think Noah will give me in exchange for your return?”
“Nothing,” I whispered. “He hates me.”
Craning his neck to look out the windshield, Matteo said, “We’ll see, won’t we?”
“So you’re planning a prisoner exchange on the day of his sister’s wedding? He’s going to be a little too busy to notice I'm missing, especially since we aren’t on speaking terms.”
“Don’t worry about my plan.”
How could I not when it centered around me?
“He’ll never come for me, Matteo. You’re wasting your time.”
“That’s enough out of you.”
When he leveled a glare at me, I felt true fear. Family or not, he didn't care about me at all. I was just his cousin’s child, apuppet in the stupid war he’d been secretly waging for the past eighteen years.
I was a means to an end.
If I wasn't careful, it would be my end. But Noah truly wouldn't care if Matteo called him up and said I was his hostage, so what did he picture happening? He wouldn't throw himself at Matteo’s feet, screaming and gnashing his teeth while begging for my safe return.
As he dragged me out of the van, I looked around. The house was huge, white with blue shutters, and might have starred as the princess’s house in a fairy tale book.
If not for the villain who lived inside.
Once he showed me to my room, he locked the door and left me there. I was alone in a vast mansion, unsure if I was the prize or the pawn. I checked the windows, the door, the dresser, and even the fucking floorboards, but there was nothing useful in there. Finally giving up, I flopped onto the bed and tried to think.
I wished I could ask Noah to hold me. Something about the comfort of his arms calmed me until I no longer felt as though I was ripping apart at the seams. I’d spent the past few weeks torturing myself over everything that happened. I hated what he’d done, but he was only following orders. He’d been born into that life, and even if he knew the final outcome, I doubt he’d have been able to walk away without pulling the trigger. I wanted to hate him, and it was easy to let that emotion take over.
But, especially now that I’d heard straight from Matteo that he’d set up his own cousin because he wouldn't give him more power, I couldn't place all the blame on Noah’s head. He might have become a monster in my dreams, but he wasn't the only one. Benito, Matteo, and the other men they occasionally mentioned in front of me, they were all varying levels of heathens. Even my father had been one of them.
It didn't take long to realize I couldn't forgive Noah, but I could move past it. My heart wouldn't let me stop loving him, despite all my fruitless attempts. Too bad he loathed my very existence because of what I’d done. As much as I wanted to apologize, I wasn't sorry for agreeing to the terms the feds laid out for me. I thought they would investigate a cold case, not layer lie on top of lie. They’d known all along who was at fault, and pretended to help me in exchange for ruining the lives of their targets.
It was some sick bullshit to discover they sent me into the lion’s den, shoving me toward the wide-open mouth of the beast responsible for the one thing they promised they’d dig into. It was the only thing they had that I wanted beyond reason, and they knew they could lure me in with yet another lie.
I knew from the beginning that Lauder thought she was cunning, but outright lying about the circumstances surrounding my parents’ case was underhanded. And Berkshire had known, too, each time he showed up begging me for something in return for helping me as a child. They’d used me as prey for the predator, while knowing all along how connected we actually were.
Noah was the only man to ever try to love me, and it was so unfair to learn that he was the source of my nightmares. He and Benito had altered the course of my life at ten, and then again at twenty-eight. In hindsight, the night I revealed my true name made more sense. Noah was shocked; there was no way he’d known all along. He hadn't set out to play me the way Lauder had.
Didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch.
I’d had too much time on my hands lately to mull over my life and my future. The last thing I needed was to sit there in that room and let my mind wander even more. If Matteo had his way,he would set a trap for Noah, hoping he’d come for me and stand directly in the path of a sniper’s bullet.
Either he wouldn't come, which I could admit would hurt me deeply, or he’d die for me. Neither of those choices were acceptable.
Glancing down at my watch, I saw it was still connected to my phone. Wherever they’d taken it, they hadn't gone too far. With trembling fingers, I tapped on the call button and typed in Noah’s number. He might have deleted his contact information, but I had a good memory.
Unfortunately, it went to voicemail. Whether that was because he would never speak to me again or because he was in the middle of acting as best man for the wedding, I wasn't sure. Rather than speak out loud unnecessarily, I switched to the messages and opened a new text.
What the fuck should I say? I know you hate me, but I’m being held in exchange for your life. Hurry up and save me, the woman who disgusts you. Abandon Vicki’s wedding to come to my aid.
Finally, I settled on simplicity.Matteo has me at his compound, hoping to use me as bait to kill you.
The real question was whether or not Noah would see it. If he didn't, then nothing else mattered. All I knew was that more death wasn't the solution to everything that had happened.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Noah
