"If you strictly want to do that yourself, then I can help by changing his diapers. Or I'll gladly feed him a bottle."
After staring at him for a full minute, I finally replied, "Um, okay."
For what felt like endless nights, it wasn't unusual for me to wake up and find Burke asleep in one of the armchairs. I was tempted to ask him to go ahead and share my bed instead of dragging himself out of his bed and down the hall five times a night. Apparently, his alternative was to sleep upright. It didn't seem fair, but the invitation stuck in my throat. If he turned me down, it would devastate me, but worse was the vague thought that he might agree. As fragile as my emotions were, I didn't think I could keep the required distance if we were that close physically.
Most of my days revolved around feedings, diaperings, and trying to sleep. I found myself holed up in my room for the entire first week, and it never occurred to me to use a different part of the house. Wyatt was a godsend, running down the stairs any time I wanted something and bringing my meals to my room. I wasn't quite ready to brave the stairs yet, but I knew I would soon reach that point. By the end of the week, I felt exhausted, but almost as if I had a steady routine. Finn was developing a schedule, and I couldn't be more grateful.
One night, I startled awake at the sound of someone talking, only to realize Burke sat in his usual chair with Finn in his arms. I squeezed my eyes closed again to listen to him talking to his child.
"You're the most precious thing to me. Yes, you are."
There was a moment of silence, so I peeked at them to see Burke dipping his head to kiss Finn on the nose. Miniature fists rose in the air, and Burke tucked one back into the swaddling blanket, taking the other in his and kissing the back of it.
"Is breá liom tú, Finn. Always remember that."
At the sound of the Irish I'd yet to ask him about, my heart sighed, but it only brought on tears and troubled sleep.
The next time I woke, Finn was asleep in the bassinet and Burke was nowhere to be found. After a bit of cleaning up, I decided to go down to breakfast, taking the monitor with me and hoping he'd remain asleep. My body was still sore, so I gave myself time to go slow and not push my luck.
I found Burke in the dining room with a newspaper and a cup of coffee. He looked up when I entered and smiled. "Want me to ask Parker to make you some breakfast?"
"Yes, please."
This side of Burke's personality left me walking on eggshells. It was like holding my breath during pleasant weather, knowing he tended to be a volatile hurricane with little provocation. In the hopes we could keep the peace longer, I chose to keep my mouth shut.
When Burke returned from the kitchen, I glanced up, surprised to see him looking past me to the opposite doorway.
"Yes, Noah?"
Behind me, Noah clasped his hands in front of him and spoke calmly. "Sorry to disturb you, sir, but Mr. Gallagher is making a scene at the gate."
And that was the end of the sunshine; I realized it had been the eye of the storm fooling me into placidity.
"Send him packing. Now."
"Yes, sir." Noah nodded and left the room, speaking into the communication device in his sleeve.
I sat still for a minute after he left. "Are you sure you don't want to know why he's here?"
"I know why he's here."
Ignoring the harshness of his tone, I persevered. "I don't want to be the catalyst for any strain in your relationship with your father, Burke."
"You're not."
Biting my lip, I kept the next retort inside my mouth. Ultimately, there was no use fighting over something that wasn't my business. Father and son had plenty of their own issues before I came along, clearly.
"Is Finn sleeping?"
Would I have left him upstairs alone if he were awake? Refusing to be irked by his question, I merely replied with a nod.
"I have out-of-town business to attend to this week. Caden and Logan will come with me, and so will Oliver, Mike, and Sam. Noah, Levi, and Billy will stay here. Don't go anywhere without your security detail."
Clenching my fingers around the edge of the table in a reminder to myself that I was making an effort, I replied serenely. "I remember the rules, Burke."
"Good, because now you have Finn to protect."
Besides already knowing that, the only place we would go in the near future was the pediatrician's office. I wanted to tell him not to treat me as if I were daft but kept it to myself. He was obviously in a mood after the news of Carson, and I didn't want to worsen the brewing tempest.
