Like a fish, her mouth opened and closed several times, and she averted her gaze to a point over my shoulder.
With a conscious effort, I gentled my tone. "What is it, Ma?"
"With the way things were in Connecticut, I—I don't . . . want him to prevent us from ever going back."
Steepling my hands, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. "What does Connecticut have to do with this?"
"He's been different ever since we returned. Moodier, angrier."
Recognizing the mild alarm pulsing through my body, I pushed it to the side. Love and hate warred within. "Is he getting worse? Has he gone back to the doctor?"
"Burke, I make sure he goes regularly to the specialist." She darted a look in my direction, then looked down at her clasped hands. "He's not getting any better, we know that."
"And yet, he wants to continue running the business as though nothing has changed," I pointed out.
Abruptly, Elena stood. "I apologize for coming here."
I sat up straight, watching my mother twist the rings on her fingers. Slowly, I stood as well. "What's going on?"
"Nothing." If it weren't for the audible swallow, I might have believed her. "He's my husband, Burke, try to understand that."
The sound of my heartbeat pounded a rapid staccato in my ears. "What's to understand, Ma?"
"That I have to take his side." She lifted her arms, then let them drop. "There's a delicate balance between you as the head of the Family, and him as the head of our household. Sometimes I falter."
What the hell did that mean? "Ma, please just tell me—"
"I have to go."
With tears in her eyes, she hurried out of the room, her heels clicking on the wood floor once she crossed the threshold. I stared after her retreating form, my brows pulled heavily together.
"Boss?"
Blinking, I glanced at Logan standing in the doorway. "Yeah?"
"What was that about?"
"I have no idea." Scrubbing my hand over my face didn't clear my head. "She wants me to make nice with my father."
"I'm sure you will, in time."
"Mm."
The conversation stayed with me the rest of the day. Something was there behind my mother's excuses, something I couldn't pinpoint. The nervous gestures, the avoidance of my gaze; they pointed to something. A secret, a lie, some sort of devastating news. Perhaps Carson was worse, and she was afraid to tell me my father was dying.
Feeling stubborn, I refused to answer the next call out of spite. I couldn't be swayed by my tender-hearted mother. The choice was made, the oath recited. I was the recognized head of the Gallagher Family, and nothing Carson tried to do would change that.
Inevitably, the events of the day brought back memories of my childhood. Carson was not affectionate, was not quick to offer praise or a kind word. By all appearances, he didn't even like me, his only son, much less love me. Carson left everything to Elena while he built his empire, only stepping in to tell me what I'd done wrong. My grades weren't high enough; my baseball stats were lackluster; I was lucky they let a loser like me remain living under their roof. He'd been friendlier with Caden, more playful with Logan, and I battled jealousy of my cousin and friend for years. Occasionally, we got in trouble in high school, though the principal tended to give us a wide berth. The other boys shouldered the blame each time, understanding the punishment I would face if Carson thought I was involved. Loyalty was something they understood to their marrow, and I rewarded them for it by giving them everything I could offer and then some.
A hard man to love, Carson only showed loyalty to his crew and his wife. When he became ill, he suffered in silence for most of a year before collapsing in the kitchen. Only when he had no choice did he see a specialist to learn more about his condition. Under much duress, he handed the daily running of the business over to me—I hadn't wanted it, had turned him down the first four times he asked, and finally gave in when Ma came crying about how they would lose their livelihood if I refused to step up and accept my legacy. Age was a factor, I knew, in how the other Families viewed my authority, so I'd set out to be a ruthless force to be reckoned with. No small mistake passed, no minute disrespect tolerated, and many men died for their sins in my first years as boss.
Now they feared me, knew my name far and wide, and every man in all Five Families recognized that I deserved respect. Except for the Peralta Family, who fought tooth and nail to take what didn't belong to them. I knew they wouldn't stop unless I took drastic measures against them; in fact, it didn't even occur to me to do otherwise.
The fact that Carson worked to undermine me came as no surprise. He might not push it as far as going to the other Families with his petty games, but he went to the men who were torn in their loyalties. Elena had said she had a hard time choosing between her husband and me, the head of the Family. Other men had the same difficulties, but I made it clear long enough ago that I wouldn't tolerate old loyalties getting in the way. They followed the man with the title, or they died.
And now Carson wanted his position back, though his health only deteriorated. He didn't respect me as his son, his heir, to run the business without his help. He still saw me as the little boy he found lacking. It only made me more determined to prove him wrong, and to do it without his help.
Though something about my mother's visit still nagged at me, I put those thoughts behind me and focused instead on my plot for revenge.
