"Kinsley, are you doing okay?"
I looked back at my friend, at the hands folded over the menu on the table, at the short nails with bright red polish, the denim jacket over a shirt of flaming orange, and the chin-length bob. In contrast, I wore khaki slacks and a pale blue polo shirt, leftover from my job at the library. Daisy was the complete opposite of me, and yet we had remained friends, if not terribly close. There was an expression of concern on her face, one which I was all too familiar with seeing.
I knew I couldn't hide my inertia from Daisy. "I'm fine."
Daisy rolled her eyes. "Don't give me the classic response, woman. I'm sorry if school has taken so much of my time that I haven't been here for you. I'm almost finished."
"Yes, and then you'll have a career in the city, and that's the way it should be. You're not meant for this town." I was meant for this town, but Daisy was meant for excitement and adventure. What a painful reminder of my lack of prospects our shared meal had turned out to be.
"What a nihilistic thing to say."
The waitress came over, halting any more discussion. It was a relief to me, if only because I didn't want to tell Daisy she'd misused nihilistic, and I hadn't meant to say anything about the town and its innate claustrophobia. I was there to catch up and enjoy myself. If nothing else, I could live vicariously through Daisy. With an enthusiasm I no longer felt, I brought the subject back around to my friend's future.
"So, you'll graduate in a few months. Do you have an internship lined up, or any ideas where you want to get hired?"
I let Daisy talk as we waited for our food, occasionally injecting a word or two. Listening with half an ear, I watched everyone moving around the diner over Daisy's shoulder. When the door opened and a few broad-shouldered men walked in wearing dark suits and black overcoats, I took notice. They lingered near the register, spoke to someone behind the counter, paid, and stood by the door to wait with their hands clasped in front of them.
My heart sped up. That meant he was nearby. Was he outside? Was he waiting in the limo, heater running and radio tuned to a classic station? It was pathetic how much I knew about him when he didn't even know I existed.
My mouth went dry at the thought.
"I'm going to run to the bathroom, Daisy."
I didn't stick around long enough to find out if Daisy was surprised by the abrupt nature of my announcement. Hurrying to the bathroom, I ran the cold water full force into the basin.
I’m such a loser. Who got heart palpitations at the idea of someone I once had a crush on being within a one-mile radius? So what if he was there? He had better things to do than stop and talk to me, the awkward girl he went to school with once upon a time. He had never acknowledged me back then, and it wouldn't be any different that night or any other time he might cross my path. Was this what my life had been reduced to? Panic attacks at the thought of encountering Burke Gallagher in the Chester Diner?
After splashing icy water on my overheated cheeks, I scrubbed them dry with a scratchy paper towel and took a deep breath. Swinging open the door to head back out to Daisy, I froze.
Burke was in the hallway outside the bathrooms, glancing between the signs and looking right through me. His hair was longer than I recalled, brushing his collar and flopping in his face, and he wore a knee-length overcoat similar to the ones his men wore with a dark gray suit underneath. His tie was haphazardly loosened, the darkest shade of red conjuring images of pooling blood.
I didn't move until the men's room door swung closed behind him, then walked on shaky legs back to the table. Idiot, idiot, idiot! I chanted in my head. It took effort not to trip over the scuffed linoleum on the way to the booth, and then I practically fell into it.
Daisy looked up in alarm. "Is everything all right, Kinsley?"
I felt ten times the fool and hoped Daisy wasn't too observant of that fact. "Of course."
"Okay." Daisy didn't sound in the least bit convinced but, thankfully, she didn't push the subject.
There were plates of food on the table, and I ate mechanically, but I couldn't stop watching the doorway where he would have to emerge. Never would I have guessed exactly how deep my feelings ran, or that they'd even lasted all these years until seeing him in person. It was stupid, and bound to give me heartache, but I wished he would notice me just one time.
When he came through the diner, I paused with a fry halfway to my mouth in order to watch him walk. Everything about him mesmerized me; the graceful steps, the straight posture, the casual confidence he exuded. His hair was the same jet-black disarray I’d loved in high school, and even the fluorescent lighting couldn't ruin the sheen. He appeared to have grown taller, but that could have been my perception since I was seated. I had a visceral urge to discover if he smelled the same, like pine and wood smoke and everything danger represented.
Everyone quieted in the diner and watched him pass through, so at least I didn't feel too out of place, but I assumed no one else was as agonizingly smitten. I had not felt so pathetically immature since I'd worked up the nerve to say hello to him in the ninth grade, only to have him walk right on by as though I didn't exist.
"Isn't that—"
"Burke Gallagher," I murmured, cutting off Daisy's question.
The only man who'd ever made me yearn for his attention. The only man who'd ever left Chester to become a wealthy, powerful mob boss.
The only man with the capacity to break my heart.
2
Kinsley
It wasn’t long before I found out that the only reason Burke was in town, torturing me with his presence, was that his grandmother was dying. I knew he had a soft spot for strawberry milkshakes, which must have been why he and his men stopped at the diner. It wasn't the type of fare I figured he ate as an adult who was wealthy, well-connected, and surely had a personal chef.
