"I know."
Instead of eating, I pushed the spaghetti around on my plate. "I don't know where my mother is or what she's doing. I feel like I should have dropped her on a deserted island months ago."
"We can only hope Carson loves her and won't harm her."
"I used to think she was the only person he knew how to love. Now I wonder if he loves anyone other than himself." I drank deeply from my wine glass. All attempts to get in touch with Elena had proved fruitless. If Carson put her in hiding, it was probably for the best, but I would regret it if any harm came to her at the hands of the men my father had taken up with.
"I'm sure she's safe."
"I wish I felt the same optimism."
Though I held her left hand, Kinsley had begun to eat. After a few minutes, she put her utensil down and sat back. "We can't live here underground forever, pretending the house is empty. What if they make a move while we're down here?"
"This area is independently cooled and heated, with an emergency airlock system if the HVAC is damaged."
"That's not exactly what I meant. They have us hiding out while they roam free, mocking us. We need to be proactive and stop waiting for them to make a move."
"What about Anna?"
"I don't know, but I can't continue to live down here separated from my son like this."
Extracting my hand from hers, I scrubbed my face and sighed. "We can't move forward without her. If I kill the Navarros and Carson before she's found, I'll never get to her. She must have an escape plan of some nature, and I can't let her get away."
"I understand, but it's frustrating as hell to play this waiting game."
Kinsley ate, but my thoughts swirled through my head. Where would they hide? What location did the Navarro brothers own where Carson and Anna could stay without anyone finding them? I didn't know the answer, and all attempts to find them had been futile.
"You know I don't like this either," I finally said. "When we were apart, I didn't simply miss you and Finn, I missed the family we've made."
"I did too. It's not the same without all of us together." Kinsley sighed and ran her hand down her ponytail. "Maybe my father is right; maybe I am a criminal. I've killed, and I'll likely kill again. He'll never want to have anything to do with Finn or our family, something I have to learn to accept."
"Which sucks."
"Which sucks," she agreed. "But I'm not afraid to do what it takes anymore. It used to make me jittery to picture what I might have to do to protect what we've created."
"But not anymore?"
"No, even though I doubted myself for pretty much the entire time I was in Chester. It's like there's something in the water or the air."
"The town suppresses you."
Nodding, she said, "It sure feels that way."
"But here, you turn into cold-blooded Kinsley?"
"Ha. Not quite." Standing, she took her plate to the sink. "It's more like I feel brave here."
"You are brave, you've proven it repeatedly." I stood as well, putting a hand over hers when she turned the water on. "I'll do these."
She turned into my embrace, shocking me when I heard sobs ripping up her throat.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Instead of answering, she clung harder, gripping my shirt in her fists and soaking my chest with her tears. I ran my hands over her back in circles until she could speak again.
"I'm sorry."
"Never apologize for crying." With a finger under her chin, I tilted her face so I could look in her eyes. "We're under so much pressure, baby, how could you not need a good cry?"
