Dejected, I dragged my feet back up the stairs and sank onto the bed.
Daisy came into the room. "Were you under the impression he was staying?"
"No, but I hoped."
"I'm sorry, Kinsley."
"I just need him to be safe, that's all."
"Honey, it'll take time for you to heal. It's good for you to be here, to force your parents to visit with you and meet Finn. Hopefully, whatever Burke is doing will be finished quickly and you can get back to him. In the meantime, do something for yourself. Sleep more, read more, take a swim. Sometimes, the healing hurts worse than the wound. I'm here for you."
I stared at my hands as they lay clasped in my lap. "I miss you, Daisy."
"I know, sweetie, and I promise to be more available in the future. It's a lot of work to have a new apartment, a new job, and a boyfriend. I don't intend to shut you out."
Nodding, I swiped at the tears on my face. "I need him to come back to me."
"I know." Daisy sat beside me and took one of my hands.
"He's imperfect, Daisy, but he's mine. I love him, and I need him in my life."
"You're terrified, aren't you?"
I rubbed my fist over my heart. "Absolutely petrified."
There were no words strong enough to comfort me now. Daisy and I sat in the ensuing silence, each with our own thoughts about what the future would entail.
42
Burke
I slammed the office phone back into its cradle. "Oliver put the waiter in the warehouse. According to the information he gained, it was Anna who set him up on this particular task."
Logan scowled, pouring more scotch and throwing it back. "What's our move?"
"We know she's the puppet; I say we take out her masters the way they planned for us." I paced to the window and back again, not even seeing the garden, which had begun its descent into the dull oranges and reds of fall. "They think all we know is bombs, so by now they're checking everywhere for them."
"And instead we go for poison."
Nodding, I said, "But not thallium, not something slow acting like they thought they were pulling on us. My guess is they figured we'd ignore the signs of a cold for a long time, especially the men. And then it would be too late to treat the underlying illness from the poison."
Logan sighed, swirling his drink. "I never thought I'd have to say this to you, but I fucked up."
I zeroed in on Logan's grimace, swallowing when my throat wanted to close. "In what way?"
"I treated Kinsley with respect because of my relationship with you, but I listened to Anna's opinion of her. I'm afraid my entire relationship has been a lie, from the moment I felt any attraction to your sister at fifteen until the moment I kicked her out of the house. If Carson was coaching her on how to act, what to say, then they manipulated me into giving you advice to serve their purpose." He shook his head, remorse evident in his actions. "Peace with the Peraltas, an arranged marriage with the Whites, grabbing drinks without guards because who would dare touch us? Insisting that Kinsley had trapped you into marriage was an easy thing to believe considering how it all went down. Yet, I've been in this house almost every day since she moved in and I can see the positive changes she's made. I realized a long time ago I was wrong, but I didn't want to admit it."
The words I had to ask next burned a hole in my esophagus. Could I pull the trigger on my best friend if the answer was yes? "Did you ever leak information to Carson?"
Logan flinched. "I'd never go that far, but I can see why you'd think that of me now. I can't deny Anna continuously suggested including Carson in the loop and mentioned Kinsley was the true reason we'd shut him out. She said it wasn't right, but what wasn't right was hating Kinsley when she gave me no reason."
I looked down at my clenched hands, then slowly forced my muscles to ease. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to, Logan."
"I understand, but you're my boss, my friend; my brother. I'm sorry I didn't give her a fair chance." Logan dropped his head back. "When I discovered what Anna was up to, Kinsley had every right to laugh at me and tell me I'd made my bed. But she didn't. She was kind—she is kind—and I can see that about her clearly now the blinders are off."
Thinking about my oldest friend's confession, I stalked over to the dry bar. "Sometimes I wonder if I should have left her alone when I ran into her in Chester. A lot of this shit we're dealing with now is because I chose the wrong woman to marry." If I dared to imagine a future without Kinsley, it looked bleak. There would be no Finn, no laughter, no love.
No life.
