"He said he doesn't do what we did. That he's saving himself for his wife or something. I took that away from him."
Lillie wrapped her arms around Morgan. "But he likes you. He let you inside a place he's never let anyone go before. Just because he wants to go slow doesn't mean he doesn't want you at all."
"I'm just not good enough for him." She wiped her eyes. "I'm a slut and he's a virgin."
"Don't ever call yourself that again. You're a lovely person who knows she has issues to work on."
Morgan nodded her head, backing away from the bar with tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to stay the woman she had become, but she had no idea how to change. She had lost Ryder, the only guy to treat her like a real person, and not like a walking sex toy. She had to go back to his apartment, to apologize for the way she’d acted.
When she got there, there was no answer at the door. She knocked for a shamelessly long time until the next-door neighbor popped his head out and asked her what the hell she was doing knocking on an empty apartment door.
Empty. Apartment.
Morgan walked slowly down the stairs and away from the building. She didn’t know where she was heading, just knew she needed to keep walking. She had never been strong enough to deal with her demons without the help of addictive substances. She headed for the park and walked around in circles.
What was she going to do without a chance at happiness with Ryder? She had expected to ask forgiveness, to beg him for a second chance and to find a way to fix herself, with Ryder’s help.
Without him, nothing was worthwhile.
~~~
RYDER TURNED OFF THEreciprocating saw he’d been using and wiped his face on his sleeve. Grabbing his bottle of water, he gulped down half of it, gasping a bit as he set the bottle back down. He surveyed the kitchen, liking what he saw. The cabinets were finished, the island almost complete. He’d put in all of his spare time to ensure his new house would be livable and comfortable as soon as possible. He was pleased and proud of himself. His house was turning into the home of his dreams by the sweat of his brow, by his own hard work and physical labor. It was exactly what he’d always planned.
And he was miserable.
He missed seeing Morgan at the bar, missed the way she showed up at his place unannounced. He knew in his heart now that he could spend the rest of his life with her. She had issues, Ryder knew, but he also knew she was strong enough to work through them.
He’d never been so embarrassed as when he’d had to admit he was a virgin. There had never been a woman close enough to him to have that discussion before. He could still remember the way her lips had felt wrapped around his cock, and he understood more than ever how people were so easily caught up in sex. He could see it becoming addicting, but only if it was with the same person, the right person.
With Morgan.
He still couldn't believe he'd managed to close on the crappy little house. It mostly needed elbow grease and TLC, which he was more than happy to provide. The master bedroom had been completed last week, and the kitchen was mostly done. The dining room was last, because he was going to do the living room next. He stepped out onto his front porch, smiling at the newly stained wood beneath his feet. He plopped down onto the porch swing for a break, and his thoughts inevitably veered off to Morgan.
He desperately wanted to talk to her, to show her the progress he’d made on the house. He didn't want to come across as a stalker, though, so he assumed he'd have to wait for another chance encounter at Carter's.
Suddenly, he had more to look forward to in his life. If he and Morgan could make the effort, maybe he could even have it all.
