Chapter Six
Caleb had to wake Devonup when they reached their parents' house. Though he debated carrying him straight to bed, he wanted to make sure he ate first. Their father stayed behind to continue the search with Vince and the officials, though he promised not to be too much longer. Caleb called Lori before they left the mill to make sure she would be okay without him for a few more hours, and she assured him that his mother was staying with her.
Though Devon walked like a drunkard toward the house, he made it inside on his own accord and sat in a kitchen chair much like the day before. Caleb dug through the fridge until he had the makings for sandwiches and then stood at the island counter and watched his brother.
"You gonna make it?"
Devon nodded, scrubbing his face roughly before getting up and grabbing two bottles of beer. Caleb's eyebrows went up into his hairline as Devon sat with both of them.
"And here I thought one of those was for me." Caleb slapped a piece of cheese onto the bread in front of him and closed the sandwich he'd made for Devon. He wasn't normally one to judge, especially not when it came to his older brother who he typically thought walked on water. Once upon a time, Devon had everything Caleb wanted: a devoted wife, a baby, a house, and a business of his own. He'd helped Caleb get a carpentry apprenticeship so he would know the ins and outs before they opened McMillan Brothers Woodworking. Caleb had never been made to feel like he was trailing along after Devon, even when that was exactly what he was doing. He would go to any limits for Devon, including mopping him up off the floor after he got piss-drunk.
"I heard the chief say they were going to set up a press conference tomorrow. You know, for national attention."
"So they can play off my grief for the greedy press? The way Kathy's parents suddenly wanted to become advocates after her death, only to throw money at one organization and then forget all about it?"
Caleb shrugged, not looking to open a new can of worms. He made a second sandwich and got himself a beer before setting the food on the table and joining his brother. They ate in silence, both staring out the bay window into the backyard. The sun was on its way down, painting the grass in the last golden rays of the day.
"It's night again," Devon commented right before swallowing the last of the first beer.
"It's only been a little over forty-eight hours."
"Forty-nine hours, thirty"—he glanced at his watch—"five minutes, and a handful of seconds." He bit down on the sandwich without actually tasting it.
"I know, Devon. I do. It doesn't matter if it's been thirty minutes or thirty days. It's too long."
There was silence between the brothers for a long time.
"I'm going to kill them."
Caleb froze with the beer bottle halfway to his mouth. He turned his head slowly to look at Devon, who was still staring blindly out the window. A dozen thoughts flung themselves through Caleb's head. Would he stop him? Could he blame him?
Would he help him?
He chose not to say anything as Devon twisted the cap off the second bottle of beer. They continued to eat in silence, a silence that slowly engulfed Devon like an evil entity. It crept, leisurely but steadily, from the edge of the white linoleum, toward the table and chairs, toward the pair of men trying to put one foot in front of the other under the enormous strain of what had happened.
"I can't keep doing this. This isn't living," Devon suddenly said. "You babysitting me because I can't keep my shit together, abandoning your pregnant wife for your pathetic excuse of a brother."
"Hey, I want to be here," Caleb tried to interject.
But Devon was engulfed in a tidal wave of hate and revenge and loneliness until it burned in his heart. "It's bullshit, Caleb!" He stood, knocking the chair into the wall and towering over his seated brother. "You need to go back to work tomorrow. Or, fuck, spend a whole day with Lori. Something other than wasting what you have on me."
"I don't consider it wasted!" Caleb stood as well, his voice matching the volume of Devon's. "I know it sucks. It's the worst thing that could have happened, and it shouldn't have happened to you. I wish I could take some of the burden off your shoulders. Don't you see?" He put his hand on Devon's shoulder, watched as tears brimmed over the eyes that matched their mother's. "That's why I'm here. I want to ease your suffering in any way I can. I'm sorry it isn't the same as having Hailey back."
"I know you're trying." All his strength vanished as he collapsed back on his seat. "I'm not blaming you. I'm not trying to make it sound like you're not doing enough. You being here, Dad being with me, it's the only thing keeping me sane."
"Dude, you're not sane anymore." He said it in a light-hearted manner, but neither of them laughed. Caleb went back to the fridge and pulled out the last of the beer. "Dad's going to be mad we drank these."
Devon tried to smile. "He only lets himself have one a day. I think he'll manage without." He accepted the bottle and then just stared at it. "I want it to help, but it doesn't."
Caleb sighed. "Then save that one for Dad and go lay down on the couch."
