Chapter 4
Luna couldn’t believe she’d caved a second time. She didn’t have the excuse of alcohol in her system this time. No, she wanted to have sex with Davis while stone cold sober. What she’d told him was true; she’d spent the past four years wanting him so badly it hurt, but she was terrified of screwing everything up and losing him. If he was willing to stay at arm’s length, then that was where she would keep him. Getting romantically involved would only spell disaster. Her fears were confirmed when she watched her best friend get treated like crap by her boyfriend’s parents. The Clarks didn’t think Reagan was good enough for Hudson, and Hudson never so much as spoke to his parents anymore. Luna refused to come between Davis and his parents. It wasn’t fair.
And there was her problem. She’d crossed a line, and then crossed it again, setting it on fire and walking away. She wasn’t sure how to live her life without Davis, but she couldn’t imagine he would continue to put up with her when she couldn’t give him the relationship he wanted. He deserved so much better than Luna Moss, and the sooner he figured that out, the happier he would be. Even if it meant she would be miserable.
Tuesday dragged by in a cloud of confusion. Luna struggled to maintain an upbeat façade for her students, but her mind wasn’t on work. The afternoon lagged until she finally had the chance to hurry home. She’d come up with what she hoped to be a solution to her bad mood. She called Reagan. She had experience with Luna’s dilemma, but it would also feel better to talk to her and get it out of her system.
Reagan wasn’t free for a few more hours, meaning Luna had to attempt to distract herself. She turned on the TV, but nothing caught her attention. She worked on grading that day’s pop quizzes, but she couldn’t keep her head in the game. She gave up and stared at the wall, trying not to cry.
Finally, Luna heard the buzzer for the outer door and got up to push the button to let Reagan in the building. She stood tapping her foot until the knock. Wrenching the door open, she pulled Reagan in for a hug that reeked of desperation.
“Jeez, Luna, are you all right?” Reagan asked as she untangled herself from her friend.
“No. I screwed up big time.” Luna led Reagan to the couch, and they sat down together.
Reagan frowned. “What did you do?”
“I caved.” Luna covered her face in her hands for a brief moment before looking Reagan in the eyes. “I slept with Davis. Twice.”
Reagan took a minute to respond. “Was he any good?” She grinned, but Luna wasn’t amused.
“I don’t know what I was thinking. We’ll never go back to being just friends after this. We’ll be stuck in some weird level of awkwardness.”
“Knowing Davis, nothing will change,” Reagan tried to reassure her.
“It’s not fair to him.” Luna felt the tears really bearing down on her. She tried to fight them, but it was no use. She picked up the box of tissues from the side table.
“It’s never been fair to him, but you both made the decision a long time ago that things wouldn’t progress past friendship. He was okay with that, Luna.”
“That was before I let him do things to me,” Luna whispered.
“How did all of this transpire, anyway?”
Luna sighed. “We went to dinner on Friday. We haven’t really seen each other since graduation, and we missed each other. We had wine with dinner, and then brandy with dessert. I had too much, and we were having such a good time that I didn’t want it to end. I asked him to come up, and I guess I didn’t think it through.”
“And then?” Reagan prompted.
“He said we could just have this casual thing, like friends with benefits. And, you know, I agreed.” Luna wiped her eyes with her tissue.
“But then you managed to do it a second time?”
Luna nodded. “In his office yesterday.”
“Damn, girl.” Reagan fanned herself.
“I know!” Luna buried her face in her hands. “I’ve ruined it.”
“You’re gonna have to tell me how that worked out. I want the details.”
Luna groaned. “We were arguing about the first time, and he suggested that there was no way we could blame bad sex for the reason we aren’t a couple. I said that I wanted to see how it would be when we were sober, since we were pretty tipsy Friday night. Things progressed quickly after that.”
Reagan smiled. “You’re so closed-mouth about it.”
“I don’t want to describe the sex I had with my best friend to my other best friend,” Luna grumbled.
Reagan rolled her eyes. “I tell you about my sex life.”
“You’re a hell of a lot freakier than I am, trust me.”
