I shook my head. “No. No!” I pushed him back. “I spent years trying to pretend—to hide away my feelings, thinking I was nothing but a fucking mistake. I pushed that darkness so far down, it nearly killed me. I can’t go back to that…I can’t live that way again! You don’t know the pain I felt, how much it tortured me to try to live that lie!”
“You think I don’t know? Fuck, Indi, I spent those same years pretending to feel nothing! That I was just your brother and didn’t have any kind of desire for you. You think that was easy? It was fucking torture! All I ever wanted…all I ever fucking wanted…was you! All I dreamt about—all I thought about, every minute of every day, was you! It killed me living that way! And now, I’m stuck hiding away, once again watching you from a distance. Only this time, I‘ve had a fucking taste.” He stepped even closer, making my heart race. “And I’m stuck, savoring that taste every fucking day, knowing I’m never going to have it again.” Haze touched my face. “I know your pain, Indi. I’ve lived it for years. All I have ever wanted was you, little sis.” His jaw clenched. “So don’t say I don’t care, because I care more than you can fucking imagine.”
My eyes blinked as the rain poured from the night sky. “You’re going to be the death of me, Haze.”
He grinned and tipped my chin before kissing me. “Not if you kill me first.” He kissed me again, with such raw passion. “I’m going to see what I can do about the phone, okay? I can’t have you sitting around worrying about me, as much as I may enjoy it.”
My eyes lit up at the hopeful idea. “What about Mary-Jane?” I asked. “What am I supposed to do about her? I can’t keep living like this…I can’t.”
He smiled. “You won’t. I’ll take care of her. But first—” Haze spun me around and pressed my body against the hood of the car, bending me over. His hand grazed my thighs and I let out a moan. “Let me take care of you. I can’t have you going back in such a sour mood now, can I?” He moved my hair aside. “I thought I saw this earlier during our little session.” His fingers grazed the tattoo along the back of my neck. He kissed the inked letters and ran his tongue along them.
“Do you like it?” I asked.
He unzipped his jeans and leaned closer. “You tell me, little sis.” And before I knew it, he pushed inside me.
ONE
INDI
“One more hit,”I whispered while inhaling the smoke from the bong. The warmth of it instantly filled my mouth and lungs. I held my breath for a minute before exhaling, coughing from taking too large of a hit. “Oh fuck—too much.” I wheezed and coughed.
Kush rolled around on the bed, just as high as me, when the bedroom door shot open. “Seriously?” I looked up with swollen eyes to see Mary-Jane standing in the doorway. Her face made it clear just how annoyed she was. “I thought we agreed you’d chill out with the weed.”
I coughed again and shook my head as my body buzzed. “Pretty sure I didn’t agree to that.”
And I never would. I love weed way too fucking much.
Mary-Jane rolled her eyes. “You know, ever since the other night, you’ve been acting weird. You didn’t happen to hear from your brother, did you?” My stomach dropped as I eyed her silently.
Of course I hadn’t told her where I went, or who I saw, but even just the hint of her potentially knowing made me nervous. No one could know where Haze was, especially not Mary-Jane.
I coughed a few more times and shook my head. “I told you, I just went for a drive. Why do you care anyway?” She shrugged. “You know, you’ve been asking a lot of questions about Haze recently. Is there a reason you’re suddenly so interested in my brother?” She didn’t answer. “Aw, what’s wrong, Mary-Jane? Do you miss him?” I made a face.
She scoffed and stomped her foot. “No, I don’t fucking miss him! Why would I miss that psycho?” Her phone in her hand chimed and her face lit up. “As a matter of fact, I met someone.” She raised the device and tapped away, grinning like a child.
“Who the fuck would date you?” I laughed. I completely forgot to censor myself, thanks to the weed.
Mary-Jane grimaced and tried to pretend my insult didn’t bother her. “Arealman, unlike your shitty brother. We met online the other day, and we’ve been talking ever since. Oh and look at his body!” She whipped the phone around to show me a poor quality photo of a man’s ripped torso. I looked away, uninterested. She shrugged. “Your loss. So no, I don’t miss your crazy brother. I’ve moved on with my life, Indi. I got myself a new man, and I couldn’t be happier.” She gave me a look. “You could try to do the same. Instead of sitting here day in and day out while getting high with your fat cat.” Kush hissed, and I tried to control my anger.
How did Haze ever stand you?
I coughed again. “You don’t get it, do you?”
Mary-Jane crossed her arms and made a face. “What’s there to get? You need to just let him go. I mean, he’s your fucking brother, Indi! Your twin. You can’t be attracted to him, not really, right?” I blinked. “Indi, come on. You realize that’s incest, right?” I didn’t respond. “So what, you plan to just spend your life sitting in your room, getting high, sulking over a fucking psycho? The same man who killed your boyfriend and fucking kidnapped us?”
I shook my head. “He neveractuallykidnapped us, Mary-Jane. He just…restrained us.”
Wow, I was high as shit. Time for another hit.
I moved the bong to take another hit when she scoffed. “Oh my god…are you actually defending him right now?”
I placed the bong on my nightstand and groaned. “What else would you like me to do, huh? You want me to just forget the whole thing? Pretend everything is fine in this fucked up world and none of that bullshit happened? Well, I can’t! So what now? Huh? What do I do now, Mary-Jane?” She didn’t answer. “Well? Go on. Tell me what I’m supposed to do since you seem to just know everything.”
Mary-Jane crossed her arms and tossed her red hair over her shoulder. “You could stop ruining your life for someone who blew it up and then abandoned you.” I froze. “Haze obviously never cared, or he wouldn’t have just left you to deal with the aftermath of his shit. Instead, he ran away. A real man would’ve turned himself in.” She tilted her head. “He wouldn’t just leave you here, ruining your name, and any possibility of arealfuture, expecting you to just figure it all out on your own. But he cares, right?” She smiled. “Yeah, okay. Keep just keep telling yourself that lie, Indi.” She shook her head and scoffed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Her words made my heart ache.
I shot Mary-Jane a look. “Just because we’re roommates, doesn’t mean we’re friends. So you might want to watch what you say and remember who you’re speaking to.” I stood and walked across the room, stopping a foot or so away from her. “Haze ismybrother, Mary-Jane. My twin. We’re one in the same. So you better watch your fucking mouth when you speak about him.”
