Ma got up and clasped Kate’s shoulders firmly, forcing her to stop. “Katherine, do you want to marry Andrew?”
“No!”
The answer exploded out of her before she even knew her own thoughts. She clamped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide. A deep silence descended on the little cabin. Kate just stared into her mother’s anguished face.
“Oh Kate,” Ma whispered. “Why didn’t you say so?”
“Because … because it was the right thing to do! It made you so happy! This was my one chance to finally do somethin’ right.” She fought to hold back the sobs that threatened to break free from her chest.
Ma laid a gentle hand on Kate’s cheek. “My darling girl. You do not have to get married if you don’t want to.”
Her mother’s soft words broke something inside, and, like a dam being burst, all the roiling emotions that had been pent up inside for months spilled out, and she wept. Kate fell to the floor and wept while her mother held her and rocked her like a baby, and she cried and cried and cried until she was utterly spent and there was nothing left but the sound of her ragged breathing and the warm, steady thump of her mother’s comforting heartbeat. She felt her father’s strong arms wrap her in a fierce yet tender hug, his solidness a balm to her broken heart.
“I’m sorry, Pa,” she whispered hoarsely.
“Ach, lass, whatd’ya have to be sorry for?”
Her voice hiccupped with remnant sobs. “For disappointin’ you. For disappointin’ everyone.”
He gently held her at arm’s length and cupped her chin until she met his eyes. The tender love she saw there made her chin wobble. “Katie-bird, my sweet, wee girl, I’d only be disappointed if you’d’ve gotten married just to make others happy. I want you to be loved for all of who you are, not just for who you think you should be for someone else.”
Kate didn’t think she had any more tears inside her, but at his soft words, she collapsed into his arms and cried again, this time in blessed relief, weights that she didn’t know she’d been carrying dropping like broken millstones from around her neck.
Chapter 31
Thestormbrokesometimein the night, and the December sun rose on drifts of sparkling snow stretching to every horizon. Kate spent the next two days in deep conversation with Ma and Pa, sharing her heart, learning more about God’s grace, leaning on their wisdom and loving care. She reveled in the peace that had settled in her heart. She hadn’t realized how anxious and forlorn she’d felt until she was no longer suffocating under the weight of it. She felt like a child again, being carried by arms far stronger than hers, knowing she was completely loved.
On the third day she looked out the window and spotted Andrew riding along the frozen creek bed.
Kate’s heart jolted, waves of dread washing over her. She slowly dried her hands on her apron. She knew what she had to do. But rallying the courage to do it proved a daunting task. She just wanted to stay in this cocoon of support and care that had surrounded her these last days, but she knew she needed to face reality once again. Andrew deserved to know.
Her mother joined her at the window. “So. He’s back.”
“Yes.”
“What do you want to do?”
Kate took a deep breath. “I have to tell him. The sooner the better.”
Ma kissed her cheek. “I’m proud of you. I’ll be praying.”
“Thanks, Ma,” Kate said with a tight smile as she donned her jacket and shawl. Pouring a steaming cup of coffee, she went to meet Andrew in the barn.
He was rubbing down his gelding with handfuls of straw. It was the most disheveled she’d ever seen him. His normally clean-shaven face was covered with a week's worth of stubble, and his clothes were stiff with grime. He looked tired. Kate’s heart fell. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to talk about this. But she imagined him bringing up the topic of the wedding around the dinner table and the brittle awkwardness that would follow. She took a breath and strode inside.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he said, tossing her a smile over the back of his horse.
“You were gone a long while.”
He grunted. “Lots of work to do. Then got held up by that storm.”
“Yes, that was somethin’. So much snow.” She shifted on her feet. How do you begin a difficult, life-altering conversation?
He nodded to the cup in her hand. “That for me?”
“Oh, yes, of course.” She handed him the steaming brew. “I thought you could use some warmin’ up.”
He took a sip and sighed, sitting down on a crate next to the door. “That done hits the spot.”
