“It’ll pass.”
“Yes, of course.”
They sat in silence for a long while listening to Pa and Ian chatting idly at the table. Ma cleared her throat. “Andrew’s been working hard building you a cabin.”
“Mmhmm.”
“He even stayed out there in this weather to keep at it, to have it ready.”
“Yes, he’s been workin’ very hard.”
Ma paused. Then said, “Christmas is coming soon.”
“Fourteen more days,” Kate responded quickly. She fought the urge to look out the window again.
“I distinctly remember feeling more and more nervous in the weeks before my wedding.” Ma laid a gentle hand on Kate’s knee. “It’s okay if you’re nervous.”
Kate let out a tense laugh. “That’s good. I’m glad I’m not the only one.”
Ma looked at her for a long moment. “But you’re excited?”
“Of course I’m excited. I’m gettin’ married.”
“And you’re happy?”
“Yes, Ma, I’m happy,” she responded curtly, irritation flaring, uncomfortable being under the magnifying glass of her mother’s intuition. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”
Ma’s brow furrowed. “Have I upset you?”
“I just don’t want to be peppered with questions all the time.” Kate knew she sounded ill-tempered. Pa and Ian shared a glance across the table and dropped their voices to a low whisper. She itched for Ma to change the topic.
“I was just asking if you were happy.”
“I’m happy, all right? No need to beat a dead horse.”
“Kate, this isn’t like you.”
“What’s not like me?” Kate snapped.
“You’re so tense! You rarely smile. You don’t play your fiddle anymore, and you haven’t gone for a ride in weeks!”
“Just gettin’ used to what my life will be like,” Kate said sullenly.
“What do you mean?”
“Andrew made it clear I won’t have time for anythin’ but bein’ his wife and havin’ his babies.”
“He said that?”
“Yes, he said that. Isn’t that what gettin’ married is all about?” Kate’s voice rose in intensity. She couldn’t seem to moderate it.
Ma looked concerned. “What makes you think that’s all marriage is?”
“Because that’s what everyone says it is!” Kate yelled. “You get married and you become a wife and you forget yourself to serve your husband and your family.” She shot up out of her seat and started pacing in front of the fire, her faded calico skirts swishing forcefully with every step. She was coming unhinged. She didn’t know how to stop it.
Ma turned to her, pained earnestness in her eyes. “Katherine, the Lord never tells us to forget ourselves to become a wife. He tells us to bring all that we have in us to bring glory to Him in all circumstances, including our marriage.”
“Sounds like a nice dream,” Kate spat.
