“I think that if it makes you happy, then it makes me happy.” She was quiet for a while, and Pa looked at her intently. Finally, he asked, “And does it?”
“Does it what?”
“Make you happy?”
Kate sighed. “It does. I think.”
“You think? Or you know?”
Kate sat up straighter. “No, I know. He’s a good man. Besides, he’s probably the only bachelor in a hundred miles. My other prospects aren’t lookin’ good.”
Pa’s brow furrowed ever so slightly. “That’s no reason to get married, Katie-bird.”
“I know, Pa. I was just havin’ a bit of fun.”
He was quiet for a long while. Then he said, “It’s a big decision, lass. You don’t have to say yes.”
Kate smiled at him fondly. “I know,” she said. Her smile faded. “Do you think Ma would be all right here without me?”
Pa laid his big, calloused hand on her shoulder. His eyes were lined with sadness, but he smiled softly. “We’ll manage, lass. You make this choice for yourself. Don’t ya worry about us.”
She smiled back at him past the lump in her throat. “Thanks, Pa,” she whispered.
He wrapped his strong arm around her, holding her close, and she laid her head on his shoulder. “My sweet, wee girl. Whatever your choice, I’m here.”
The deep rumbling of his voice and steady thump of his heart seeped into her scattered mind, bringing her back to when she truly was a wee girl, safe in her father’s arms. She would miss him dearly. If she said yes.
In the morning, she’d talk to Ma.
Chapter 26
Katesatonarickety three-legged stool close to the window. A basket of mending sat next to her. She held the fabric up to the meager light, inspecting the tear she was supposed to mend. Fiddlesticks. Not even on a seam. This would not be pretty when she finished with it. But she set to work anyway.
She had spent the morning preparing and canning pumpkin, making pumpkin pies, and in general keeping as busy as she could, vainly trying not to think about Andrew’s sudden proposal. But no matter how much hot, orange mush she processed, she couldn’t stop her mind from whirling through what seemed like thousands of possibilities of what her future might look like. Through the spinning threads one question pulsed: Could she love him? But the answer was as elusive as a bobcat in the snow. It didn’t help that Jacob’s face kept reappearing in her mind’s eye. She pushed his image away time and again, tamping down the confusing longing that came with it. He was not part of her future anymore. Andrew was. Or at least he could be.
Kate glanced surreptitiously over at her mother. Ma worked on some mending too, her stitches tiny and neat and perfect despite the weakness in her fingers. Had Pa talked to Ma this morning before he left at dawn? Should Kate tell her? Ma did seem more energetic today. Still sitting in her chair of course, but the fact she was doing needlework was encouraging. Kate’s heart thudded with nervousness. What should she say? Whatwould Ma think of it all? She didn’t want to say it out loud. If she kept it all in her mind, it could stay there as an ephemeral, swirling unreality that somehow didn’t quite exist, and if she spoke it, it would coalesce into something real and solid that she would finally have to face. And she didn’t know what form it would take.
“If you keep fretting over that tear, Katherine, it’ll just get worse instead of getting mended,” Ma said wryly.
Kate jumped, quickly lifting the shirt back up to the light. “Of course, Ma. Sorry.”
Ma glanced at her between stitches. “What’s on your mind, dearest? You seem rather preoccupied.”
“Oh, just lots of things.”
“Anything in particular?”
“Well,” she said faintly. Kate swallowed.Guess it’s got to come out eventually.“Now that you mention it, there was somethin’.”
“Mmhmm?”
Kate took a deep breath. “Last night, Andrew came with me on my evenin’ walk after supper.”
“I gather he does that every evening,” Ma said, her mouth curving upwards at one corner.
“Yes, he does.”Did she know already?
“What a nice boy, that Andrew. Such a gentleman,” she mused. “You know, Kate, I think he’s rather fond of you.”
