Jacob looked at her warily, still holding out a mollifying hand. “I just wanted to see you safe.”
Kate’s brow furrowed, hitching the blanket more firmly around her arms. “Why didn’t you bring me back to my own camp?”
He looked down, rubbing a hand behind his neck. “Well, you see, you were soakin’ wet, and your dress was mighty heavy with all that water. And, well, my camp was so much closer.”
Kate noticed the arm he kept clamped over the fading bruises on his side. Her heart melted in concern. He shouldn’t be lifting anything with those cracked ribs! Kate bit her lip. She knew she was not a dainty girl. And he had injured himself defending her in the first place! Her anger was nearly spent. Then she remembered the feel of his warm breath on her neck, and it flared anew. “But why were you sleepin’”—she realized she wasshouting again and dropped her voice to a furious whisper—“why were you sleepin’ next to me, with barely any clothes on?”
He threw up his hands. “You were soakin’ wet! And nearly dyin’ from exhaustion. It’d take nothin’ for you to catch your death! You needed to be warm and dry.” He let out a heavy breath, putting his hands on his hips. Kate’s gaze followed the movement then snapped back up to his face. She wouldnotbe distracted by his bare torso, or his muscled shoulders, or how his tousled hair looked like waves of chocolate in the first golden rays of the sun. He continued: “I only had the one blanket, so I used my body heat to keep you warm.”
Kate clutched the blanket to her chest. “So nothin’ … happened?”
Jacob stepped toward her. His eyes were full of a clear sincerity and something else she couldn’t quite place but that made her heart skip a beat. “Kate, I swear to you, I only want to see you safe.” His soft voice drew her in, soothing away the last of her anger. And it lit a different kind of fire inside her, one that she had never experienced before, one that made her heart pound in her chest. Jacob put his hands gently on her shoulders. She shivered, her whole body tingling. He stepped closer, close enough for her to once again feel his warmth. “I don’t know what I’d do if somethin’ happened to you,” he whispered. She gazed deep into his cobalt eyes while his thumb traced a spray of freckles on her shoulder. Her breath quickened. His eyes flickered down to her mouth. “Do you believe me?”
“Yes,” she breathed. She couldn’t think, couldn’t seem to still her heart’s frantic pace. His nearness set every nerve on fire with a delicious heat that thrilled her to her bones, making her forget everything else but the way his eyes stared into her own. He bent his head closer until his breath caressed her cheek, their lips mere inches apart.
She tilted her chin, and he closed the distance between them and kissed her.
He was hesitant at first, but then he gently tugged her closer, and she couldn’t help but melt against him. There was only Jacob, only the taste of cedar and sage, only the feel of his hand in her hair. His kiss deepened, pulling her in, setting her world on fire, and Kate’s mind burst into a sea of a thousand spinning colors. The heat in her wildly beating heart matched the warmth of the rising sun on her back.
Kate’s eyes flew open. Putting a hand on his chest, she pushed him away, gasping for breath. His heart beat strong and fast beneath her palm, and his eyes tore into her, hungering, dark with passion. “I can’t … Jacob, we shouldn’t—”
“Kate,” he started, his voice thick and raw.
She shook her head, trying in vain to dispel the feelings he conjured up in her. Oh, the way he said her name! It sent fresh waves of heat through her body. Every part of her just wanted to kiss him again. But a whispered warning chimed softly in the back of her mind. She broke away. “I have to get back,” she said, her voice strangled.
He caught her hand. “Kate, please. You gotta know how I—”
“No, Jacob, don’t. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. What would people think if they saw us? I need to get home. Everyone will be wonderin’ where I am!”
His eyes burned into her. “It ain’t wrong to feel somethin’, Kate.”
She didn’t look at him, couldn’t look at him. She knew that if she did, she’d give in to the wild passions of her heart. But could he be right? Surely it wasn’t wrong to feel something so intoxicatingly wonderful. But that whisper in the back of her mind coalesced.Be ye not unequally yoked.Kate swallowed against the lump in her throat. She stood on the precipice. Just one tiny step would send her falling completely and madly in love with Jacob Munroe.
Kate let herself follow the daydream for an incandescent moment, plunging into the beautiful what-ifs she saw in their future together. A wedding, a family, a home, arm in arm with the most wonderful manshe’d ever met. Kate closed her eyes tight. She loved him. She loved him with a depth and intensity that almost scared her. But for all his wonderful qualities, he lacked the one thing that meant far more. He didn’t know the Lord. Her eyes burned with unshed tears.Lord, why must it be this way? He’s so good, so kind, so strong. Surely it’s not wrong to love a man like that. We could have the most beautiful life together!
But she could see it clearly now. Her love for Jacob would slowly, inexorably eclipse her love for the Lord, and she would abandon her faith, forsaking eternity for the fleeting pleasures of this lifetime.
That was no life at all.
She swallowed hard. “Thank you, Mr. Munroe, for comin’ to my rescue yet again. I’ll make sure to not inconvenience you anymore.”
Kate felt his body go utterly still at the use of his last name. She locked her gaze on the horizon, but she was intensely aware of his hand enveloping hers. Long seconds went by. “If that’s how you feel,” he said slowly.
“It is. Now, if you could kindly give me a moment, I’ll take the opportunity to change.”
Silence.
Then he dropped her hand and stalked off.
Kate released a shuddering breath. Picking up her still damp dress, she struggled into it, letting her tears break over and spill down her face.Why, Lord?Her heart cried out.Why would you bring him into my life just to demand that I deny him? Why would you give me these feelings just to tear them away?Her throat closed around barely restrained sobs. New words arose in her mind, a still, small voice:Trust in the Lord with all thine heart. He shall direct thy paths.“Direct my path, Lord,” she whispered brokenly, “because I can’t see it.”
Jacob’s boots crunched up behind her. She hurriedly wiped her tears from her cheeks and turned. He held out her forgotten bucket, not meeting her eyes, his shoulders tense, his face a stony mask. She bit herlip. What if she lost him completely? She reached out a hand, not quite touching his arm. “Thank you,” she said. “Really. I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me.” She tried to catch his eye. “Do you think … can we still be friends?”
He finally met her gaze, and her heart clenched at the angry hurt she saw there. He stood there for a long moment. He nodded slightly. “Okay.”
She gave him a small smile. “Okay, then.”
Kate left him standing there in the midst of a beautiful sunrise as she gathered the tattered pieces of her heart, banishing the what-ifs to the recesses of her mind. It could never be, so she must pretend like it had never happened. She sealed away the dazzling memory of that perfect kiss. Like a diamond fused in a mountain of stone, it shone brightly, beautifully, but forever out of reach.
