“I’m sorry, Kate. I did all I could,” Jacob said. His eyes were red-rimmed in exhaustion and grief.
Kate heaved a weary sigh. “I know you did, Jacob. Thanks for tryin’.”
“I just wish I could stop it somehow. It ain’t fair.”
Her shoulders slumped. “I know. Believe me, I know. But we’re never promised that life would be fair. And whether it is or not, the Lord still has us in His hands. I gotta trust that some good can come of this.”
His hands clenched into fists. “People are dyin’, Kate. What good can come of that?”
“His ways are higher than our ways. It doesn’t mean He doesn’t care.”
“Seems to me like He don’t care too much ’bout what happens down here. Seems like we’re on our own.”
Kate’s sorrow-filled heart wilted further. He just couldn’t see. “You are never alone, Jacob.” His jaw clenched and he looked away. She laid a hand on his arm. “If you don’t believe God cares, at least believe that I do.”
Jacob let out a breath and she felt his muscles relax as he uncurled his fists. He looked at her, his deep blue eyes filled with something that warmed her down to her toes. “Now that’s an easy thing to do,” he said softly. Her heart hitched. He gazed at her for a long moment. “What can I do?”
She smiled, trying to imbue it with all the appreciation she felt. Even struggling with his own frustrated questioning, he could still set it all aside to care about the people around him. Grateful tears pricked at her eyes. “Help James,” she said.
“That I can do,” Jacob said. He laid a hand over hers and gave it a little squeeze. “You should get some rest. You look done wore out.”
“I’ll try,” she said. But she knew she couldn’t rest. Not yet. Not until they were through this.
Kate and her father barely slept, working day and night. Danny and Ian, strong and healthy to begin with, struggled out of the fever mightily.They recovered enough to drive the wagon and look after their mother, freeing Kate to help Maria. And all the while, Proctor pushed the train at a backbreaking pace, refusing to listen to their pleas to stop. How she hated that man! But what could they do? If they stayed behind, they risked Indian attack, or simply getting lost in the wilderness until starvation or calamity took them. Resentment boiled in Kate’s heart. Her anger fueled her, pushed her to keep going through the alarms of exhaustion her body was sending her. Ma hadn’t been lucid in four days.
It was the evening of the eighth day since the sickness had struck. Pa hadn’t slept since the night before last. Kate had to nearly push him to bed, but he was asleep next to his feverish wife in seconds, his deep snores in stark contrast to her shallow, labored breathing. Kate checked her mother’s temperature for the umpteenth time. No change. She was getting weaker. Tears blurred her vision. What more could she do? She raised a hand to her aching head. Her forehead was hot and dry.Please, Lord,she prayed.Please help us!
She took the last of her mint leaves and made her way through the twilight to the Leightons’ camp. Her feet caught on tufts of grass; there was a deep ache in her bones that sank its teeth into her soul like a gnawing creature feeding on the last of her strength.Jesus, help me.The prayer repeated over and over in her mind, a mantra she clung to by her fingertips, the last of her will funneled into those three aching words.Jesus, help me.
Kate found James sitting next to his wife, his head to his chest, fast asleep. Kate put a hand on Maria’s brow, her movements mechanical, her arms like lead. How many times had she done that this week? Her heart jolted in surprise. She checked again. Maria’s brow was damp with sweat and far cooler than it had been in days. She gasped out a sob. Kate checked her heartbeat, her breathing. Weak, but steady and clear.Thank you, Jesus!Tears of relief spilled down her cheeks. Maria was going to be all right. She gently shook James awake and left Maria in his gentle hands.
Back at her own camp, she found Danny and Ian asleep by the fire, plates of supper only half finished. Danny still had a spoon in his limp hand. How long had it been since she’d last eaten? She took off their boots and covered her brothers with their blankets. Her arms were weak. Her hand ached. She could barely think. She stood swaying by the fire. Kate wanted to just lie down, to let go of all the responsibility and grief and sleep for a week. But she couldn’t. Not until Ma got better.
She couldn’t seem to think clearly. Her mind felt shrouded in a fog of exhaustion, thoughts slipping out of her grasp like sand. What did she need? Water. Ma needed water or she wouldn’t get better. Kate closed her eyes against a new wave of pain in her head. Her bones ached. Her entire body felt like it was in a vise. She took a deep breath, opened her grainy eyes, and picked up the water bucket. The creek seemed so far away. One step in front of the other.
Sounds faded. The night grew dark, and she kept walking, only one lucid thought in her mind. Water. She didn’t know how long she stumbled out into the night before she finally splashed unawares into the creek, her feet suddenly cold and wet. Then her vision swam, and she fell into blackness.
Chapter 18
“Formercy’ssake,Proctor,people are dyin’!” Jacob shouted.
“Then there’ll be less mouths to feed through to Oregon,” Proctor growled back.
Jacob grabbed the hulking man’s arm, and before he could blink, Proctor had a revolver pressed to his stomach. He could feel the cold steel through his shirt. Proctor’s eyes glittered in the waning light. “And if you have a problem with that, Munroe, I can leave you right here for the coyotes and buzzards.” Jacob’s mouth hung open, frozen in disbelief. “Nothin’ to say? Thought so,” Proctor said, smiling maliciously. He holstered his gun and stalked off into the night.
Jacob just stood there, powerless. How many had died? Six? No, seven, including little Davie. His fists clenched. The sick needed rest, but it was either push on under Proctor’s orders or risk it alone out on the prairie. It was all well and dandy now to go it alone, here with the Platte to guide them west. But once through South Pass, the way became treacherous and hazy. One wrong step and a wagon alone could get lost out there, never to be seen again. So the travelers pressed on. Despite their loved ones dying, they kept going. Jacob’s resolve strengthened. Then he would do all he could to help them. These people were his responsibility. The entire reason for him being here was to see these families safely across the wilderness. So that’s what he would do. Jacob squared his shouldersdespite the ache in his side. Help James, Kate had said. That’s where he’d start.
Jacob found James weeping against the side of his wagon. Dread washed over him. Not Maria too. But James clasped him in a fierce hug. “She’s gonna be all right!” James cried.
Jacob’s cracked ribs sent out flares of pain, but he hugged James back just as fiercely. “Fantastic news!”
James broke away, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know what I would’ve done. If I had lost them all—” He swallowed hard, tears welling up in his eyes. “But she’s gonna be all right. Praise the Lord for Kate McGrath. She was here day and night, even though her own ma was sick. I don’t know what I would’ve done,” he said again, staring at his boots.
Jacob clasped his shoulder. “Is there anythin’ I can do?”
James waved a weary hand. “We’ll be fine now, just need some sleep. And time to heal.” He locked his gaze with Jacob's, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But you see to Kate, ya hear? She deserves a medal for what she done.”
“That I will, I promise you,” Jacob replied solemnly. And he left to do just that.
