Cathy: It was a good couple of months.
Pea: Zak’s letter arrived fifty days after he left. Which felt like several lifetimes.
John: Cathy always put the post on the hall table, and then we’d each have a look and pick up anything addressed to us. I saw that airmail envelope and knew I’d have to wait for Pea to get back from school before I could find out whether it gave us any clues. Plus I knew that she could flatly refuse to tell us what he’d said.
Cathy: It killed John, having to wait to see what some boy had written to Pea. When she got home that day, she put her head around the office door and John just happened to be there. He was helping me with a spreadsheet. He told her there was a letter for her inside, that it was from America. She went bright red and turned to go. John followed her.
Pea: Dad followed me into the house, as if he expected me to open the letter and read it out loud to him there and then. I told him I was going upstairs. He put his hand over mine on the banister. I looked at him. His eyes were pleading. He asked me to tell him if there was any news about the tour. I think I realised then, for the first time, that we might really be in trouble if it didn’t go ahead. I said I would tell him, and went upstairs.
Hey Pea
I’m so sorry about how it all went down that last night we were in England. Things have been crazy since we got back. AJ’s got a new single out next month and he’s starting the US leg of the tour in October. I’m trying to decide whether to leave high school and go with them. Mum’s going, and she says it’s up to me, but I know she wants me to come because then it won’t feel like she’s abandoning me. It was so good to talk to you about all that stuff, and I’m pretty sure I know what you’d say. Stay at home and finish high school, right? I know that’s the sensible thing to do, but it’s hard to always choose the sensible option when the alternative involves travel and music and being with your family. I talked to AJ about it last night. He said he’ll always make sureI’m okay for money, so why am I bothering with high school anyway? I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t want to always be in his shadow, to always rely on him to pay my rent for me. There’s this English teacher at school, and she says she thinks I would make a good journalist. And I know that’s not the kind of thing that will make me rich and famous, like my brother, but when she said it, it made me really happy. It made me want to try.
Anyway, I know I should have written sooner. I’ve been thinking about you all the time. I can’t wait until I see you again.
Love, Zak
Pea: I read it three times. It was frustratingly short. But at least I had his address now. I knew I’d write back immediately and then hold off on sending it so as not to seem too keen. But what the hell was I going to tell Dad? He hadn’t really confirmed anything about whether or not they’d made a decision. He’d said he couldn’t wait to see me again, but what did that mean? Did that mean he hoped we’d see each other again one day, or he knew we would?
John: I drank two cups of tea, waiting for her to come down and fill me in. When she did, she just shrugged and said he didn’t say one way or the other. I felt like throwing my mug against the wall.
Cathy: I phoned Maggie, in the end. I just needed to know. I did it at a time when I knew I wouldn’t be disturbed. The kids were at school and John was trying to repair the Ghost Train, which had one carriage that kept stopping and refusing to start up again, right in the middle of all the ghosts and cobwebs. I worked out the time difference. It was nine in the morning for me, so it would be five in the afternoon for her. I had an answerphone message ready, but she picked up. I said it was Cathy, fromWildworld, and she was quiet, as if trying to remember, and then I started babbling, saying the theme park in England, the one you visited. She interrupted, said, ‘Cathy, I remember! I was just taking the phone somewhere quieter. AJ’s rehearsing.’ Then she apologised for the weeks of silence, said that as soon as they’d got back it had been full steam ahead for the US leg of the tour, and she’d put the arrangements for the UK leg to one side for a bit. I felt like she was about to let me down gently. But then she said they’d love to go ahead, and could we book them in? She told me the payment terms, but to be honest I didn’t take anything in after she said they were coming.
John: Cathy radioed me and I knew, I just knew, that she’d heard.
Cathy: I was sitting there, in the office, this big, stupid grin on my face. And of course, I’d purposely done it when there was no one around, hadn’t I? But now I had my answer, and I wanted someone to share the news with. So I radioed John.
John: I hotfooted it up to the office, and when I went in, I was all out of breath and I just raised my eyebrows at Cathy and she nodded with this huge smile on her face, and I went over to her and pulled her out of her chair and into my arms. We did a sort of dance, both shrieking and laughing.
Cathy: I didn’t realise until he took my hand that it had been weeks since he’d touched me.
John: Something was finally going right. Maggie faxed over all the details. She gave me a phone number for a guy called Lou, who she said was AJ’s money manager. We were going to get 10 per cent straight away, and then another 20 per cent when they arrived, and the remainder at the end of the visit. I was abit concerned about that, about not seeing more of the money upfront, but when I tried to negotiate, Lou played hardball, and what was I going to do? Pull out of the whole thing? I don’t think so.
Cathy: It wasn’t until later, when we’d told the kids and had a celebratory Chinese takeaway for dinner, that I thought about Zak. I was lying in bed, John snoring next to me, and I swear even his snores sounded contented. And I thought about being in that hotel reception, the way I’d felt about my little girl being alone in a hotel room with someone who was more man than boy, and I wondered what would happen when they were here for so much longer. That was the only part of it I worried about. Looking back, I think maybe I was so focused on that that I didn’t see the potential for anything worse.
Dear Zak
Mum just told me you guys are definitely coming over. I cannot wait. With the way it all ended, I’ve still got your Pavement CD. I’ve listened to it over and over. It took me a while to connect with it but I love it now. I miss Parklife though! There’s nothing much to say about life here. Your visit was the most exciting thing to happen pretty much ever, and your next visit will go down in local history. Remember that boy who came over and threatened me when we were having dinner? He’s still making my life hell at school. So when you wrote about having to choose between going on tour with AJ and finishing school, my first thought was that I’d leave school. But when I thought about it longer, you’re right. I do think finishing school is the sensible thing to do. Then you have options. You can still travel with AJ if you want to, but if that all comes to an end, you’re not left with nothing. It’s nice that your brother said he’ll always make sure you’re okay, though. I can’t imagine my brother saying that, evenif he was rich and famous. Now thinking about what on earth Sebastian would be rich and famous for, and coming up blank. Him and Dad are arguing a lot about the future of the park. Dad wants him to take it over and he’s just not interested. When things get really heated between them, I just shut myself in my room and put my headphones on, play music really loud.
We’re trying to keep the news quiet for now. June feels like so long away. I’m sure it will come out long before you get here, but we’re trying to put that off as long as possible. I’ve only told Alex, and he’s a terrible gossip, but if you tell him to keep something secret, he does. I am imagining you rolling your eyes at that, but he honestly does.
This is hard to write. I know we didn’t make anything official or make any promises to each other, but I’m hoping we might be able to pick up where we left off when you come over. I know, though, that that’s months away, and I’m sure there will be other girls between now and then. I wouldn’t expect there not to be.
Love, Pea
Hey Pea
I listen to Parklife whenever I think about you, which is a lot. Last night I tried to talk to Mum about my decision to stay behind when her and AJ go on tour, but she wasn’t really listening because there’s some problem with AJ’s stylist and she and Maggie have to find a new one. I ended up telling her to forget it and walking out. Later, she came up to my room and said she was sorry and could we try again? So I told her everything, that I don’t want to drop out of school and have no career prospects, that I want to have a go at writing for a career, that I don’t want to live in AJ’s shadow. She said, ‘We all live in AJ’s shadow, honey. Pretty much the whole world is in AJ’s shadow.’ I didn’t say anything after that, but this morning she said she understood my decision and they would miss me. It’s hard to explain but it justfeels like she’s chosen him over me. I would call Dad and ask to come and stay with him for a while, but I don’t want to keep switching schools. It’s a mess.
AJ gets it, though. He keeps telling me he knows what it’s like to be pushed towards one thing when what you really want is something completely different. Mum got a bit stressed when he said that, and asked if he was still happy with doing all this touring, and he laughed and said that wasn’t what he meant. I hope he’ll tell me what he meant someday. It’s not easy being his brother but I guess it can’t be easy being him either.
Anyway, listen, there are no other girls. Okay? Only you.
Love, Zak
Danny: That seems like a fitting place to end today’s show. Zak declaring his commitment to Pea like that. There’s plenty more of that little romance to come, but next week we’re going to tell you about an accident that happened at Wildworld six months before the one that killed AJ Silver, on the very same rollercoaster. It’s pretty shocking.
Anthony_53
