“The man living in my apartment and fucking my butt daily.”
That was true. Regardless of what was happening, I was curious about Alec. We were close, but there was so much I didn’t know. Which helped to relieve even more of my stress—if he hadn’t shared things about his background, how could he see us as anything more than sex roommates? It didn’t occur to me that asking about it might undo that barrier.
He looked at me for a moment, then sighed. “I’ve told you before we moved around a lot, right?”
“Yup, a military brat, but for Pharma salespeople.” I chuckled, not knowing where he was heading.
“Something like that. But I never told you they were never around. I wasn’t a latchkey kid. I was a make-my-own-breakfast-and-dinner, pack-my-own-lunch, and hope-I’d-see-my-parents-sometime-that-week, kid. Since I was ten. So, I had to learn to cook. Mac and cheese is easy as fuck, even at eight. Eventually, I broadened my horizons to chicken finger ranch parmigiana, and cheeseburger meatloaf. I promise the recipe has improved since I was eleven.” He chuckled. I didn’t.
“Holy shit, Alec. What the fuck?”
“Yeah.”
“Where were they?”
“Working. Always working. We traveled all the time, so they ‘homeschooled’ me when I was little,” he used air quotes. “When I turned ten, they bought a house and enrolled me in an actual school because I was old enough to leave alone. By the time I was thirteen, they were divorced, and I’d go weeks without seeing them. It sucked.”
“Jesus, that’s fucked up.”
He chuckled through his nose. “It was, yeah. At least it was a unique childhood.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
He shrugged and returned to his plate. A few beats passed as we ate.
He said, “What about you? I never understood how people function with big families.”
“Not well.” I chuckled, feeling awkward.
“Yeah? How so?”
“Now you’re giving me the third degree?”
“Only fair,” he said with a smirk.
“Well, with a couple siblings, a stay-at-home mom, a bunch of aunts and uncles, and tons of cousins, I didn’t know what privacy was until I got to college.” I chuckled. “You were lucky. I would’ve killed to have the house to myself for even a single night…” Alec’s brow fell, and he looked at his food. “But being alone like you were must’ve really sucked, man. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m over it,” he said, not sounding over it. “Not your fault. What kid doesn’t wish to have run of the kingdom? Especially when it’s a full house all day, every day. I get it.”
“Yeah, but... Sorry.” I smiled, and he returned it. “Did you ever tell them how you felt?”
“Yes. Many times. They’ve apologized, and I’ve forgiven them. I sort of understand where they were coming from, but it was still a shitty thing to do to a kid. Yeah, I was smart and responsible, but being fucking ten and walking into a cold empty housesucked. It fucked me up.”
“That would fuck anyone up. How did they get away with it? Didn’t a neighbor or something notice? Or call child services?”
“Nope. If anything, the neighborhood moms were in on it. They’d come and check on me, bring me dinner, that kind of stuff. But they’d find the house clean, mac and cheese cooking on the stove, and my homework in front of me. They were like, ‘ok, the kid is fine.’ I was fine.Physically. But I wasn’t. Never had a sense of security. Or permanence. And I was a scared little kid, man. It really fucking sucks to wake up from a nightmare and not have a parent’s bed to run to. I slept with a flashlight because of monsters under my bed until I was in eighth grade.”
That broke my heart. How could it not? Little Alec, terrified in an empty house, was not an image I ever wanted to conjure again. I might have been bad with that stuff, but I wasn’t an unmovable bastard.
I couldn’t remember if we had ever held hands before, but I reached out to grab his. “It’s okay. If you have a nightmare now, just wake me up. I’ll beat up any motherfuckers for you, real or imaginary.”
He squeezed tight, looking both sad and relieved—like that was hard to say but wonderful to do. “Thanks, Mason.”
“Hell yeah, man. I got you.”
He let go to pick up his fork. “I told you why they broke up, right?”
“Infidelity.”
