I didn’t know how to respond. Alec was laughing, but I couldn’t tell if he was complimenting his wife, or was saying she was… domineering? I wasn’t sure, but he moved on without my need to comment.
“But, yes, I’ve known both men and women who’ve cheated on the job. They’re shit people. That’s it. That’s all. Cheaters are human filth.”
“Sounds like you’ve been cheated on?”
“No,” he said without malice at my prying, but also no daylight to pry deeper.
“Were you ever single on the job? I mean, I’m single as all fuck. I always thought traveling around, no attachments at home… could be a hell of a lot of fun.”
Alec laughed again. “Bro. Listen to me, don’t shit where you eat. So many of these trips are in and out. The only women you’ll talk to are somehow—eventangentially—related to your job. That shit’s messy. Trust me.”
“What about longer ones? Week-plus trips? There’s gotta be downtime, right? At least one night where we’re free to do what we want? And there’s gotta be bars and clubs. Right?”
“There are if you’re into that kind of thing. But you’re how old now? Shouldn’t you be looking for something serious closer to home, rather than chasing strange out in the field?”
I laughed hard, to the point his face fell. “No, man. I don’t know if I’m the settle-down type. Maybe one day, but not anytime soon.”
Alec held his glass to his lips, but before taking a sip, he looked me up and down. “Anytime soon? You’re young, kid. But no spring chicken.”
“I’m twenty-six.” I laughed hard. “And who knows, I might never settle down! I could be happy traveling around the world fucking people until I’m old and gray. And even then—who knows?”
I didn’t say how I would be open to fucking twinks if the ladies got too married. Once my age matches my natural daddy energy, I’ll have to beat those dudes off with a bat. He also didn’t need to know the idea of being tied down gave me hives. Always did. I’m sure older married guys were envious of young single men’s freedom. And the pussy we got. No sense in rubbing it in my boss’s face.
Alec laughed and rolled his eyes. “I guess get it while the getting’s good. But keep your nose clean on the job.”
“Clean nose, clean mind. But that has nothing to do with hookups when I’m off the clock.”
He looked at me like he could sell me the Brooklyn Bridge. “If you say so. But where you gonna fuck ‘em, huh? All these randoms you’re gonna meet? You think I’m gonna leave in the middle of the night so your drunk, horny ass can get laid while I stand outside with blue balls?”
My brow came together while I suppressed a laugh. “Why wouldyourballs be blue?” I asked before cackling.
Alec went blank for a moment before going red. “Aww, fuck you, man,” he said, laughing with me. “I have what the doctors call a very high libido. Just being alive for several hours at a time will give me blue balls.” He was still laughing with a bright red face. I think he realized how inappropriate that detail was to share with his subordinate.
“You and me both. I can’t go more than a day without it. And if I do go a whole day, I need it twice or three times the next,” I said, oversharing to make him feel better.
Alec sat back in the booth. “See, you get it. Back before Covid, we all used to get our own rooms. Then, I was alone for a while. It was easier to… ah…”
“Yeah, man. That’s what showers are for.”
“Exactly!” Alec said, laughing as his face burned brighter. “But—and if you ever repeat this, I’ll deny it—there’s nothing like having the room to yourself. Laying in bed with your phone in your hand, not worrying if the hot water will run out, or if someone’s waiting on their turn.”
“I could step out for a while? Would a half hour be enough, or are you an edge-for-hours kinda guy?”
Alec laughed so hard he spilled his drink. “No, man. I’m good. Thanks, though.”
“No but for real, is it better traveling alone?”
“Some things yes, some things no.”
“Did you ever get lonely?”
He thought for a second. “I’ll tell you this. Any perks of traveling alone, and there are a few, are nothing compared to how lonely you get. I’d rather be quick as possible in the shower when we get back than be eating dinner alone right now.”
“Well, cheers to that!”
The server arrived to ask if we wanted dessert. We didn’t, and soon, we were on our way back to the hotel.
I didn’t think he was serious about taking another shower, but as soon as we got in the door, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and headed into the bathroom. As the water turned on, I had to wonder if he would pleasure himself.
