I bet his doctors told him he should wear them more often. Reading wasn’t an issue that I knew of. After a long day, or a tough one, he broke them out to finish work back in the room. There was a tangible shift when he did. One I hadn’t quantified until we had sex.
Alec burns at a thousand watts all day, every day. His voice booms, filling the air, and his smile brightens the dark. But when he puts on his glasses, sits at a shitty motel desk, and opens his laptop, the light dims. The room feels quieter, heavier, and more real. Like he hides in that brightness, his truth in the shadow.
There’s a familiarity I hadn’t seen before—the intimacy of his glasses—like some invisible exposure. A glimpse of his authentic self, unguarded and raw. Not always. He’s still “on,” even speaking to me. Or maybe that was the real Alec, fractured but whole.
I might never know or understand. I’ve always been a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of guy, with some glaring exceptions. Not Alec. That night, in that room, I could see more of his dazzling facets.
He was tired. His life was falling apart. Who he was as a person was changing in terrifying ways. Yet, he commanded dinner, joked and laughed. Then swung and missed a huge impromptu pitch, but laughed about it, excited by the challenge.
My life wasn’t falling apart. I wouldn’t be half as graceful as him if it were. But my perception of myself was. How turned on I was around him, for him, being told what to do by him. Did I want that? If not from him, then a man like him? Could I be happy like that?
No, not some other man. Even if he had a twin brother, it had to be Alec. I might imagine my lap as a carousel for effeminate twinks, but Alec was more. He was the only man I took the plunge with. And it was him, Alec, the person that got me. That fire inside.
Was that it?Never again, Blackwood. Not even once? It had to be. If we crossed that line again, nothing could stop us. If we did it stone sober, of sound mind and body, and it was just as good, why would we want to?
It was getting late, and my eyes were tired, but I couldn’t keep them off him. Or my hands. He could brush me off, tell me to stop, or even report me to HR. But I had to know. Was it indeed a never again, or just a not yet? Was it just something two horny guys did when given a chance, or an expression of desires and realities too vast to understand after only one exposure?
I walked over to him. He didn’t look up until I swiveled his chair, then said nothing as I removed his glasses. Or when I sat on his lap facing him. We stared at each other, a thousand and one words passing over still lips. His eyes begged me both to get up and stay. To kiss him and not.
Alec’s lips had been up and down my neck while he was inside me the night before, and my shoulders and back when I was in his arms, but we hadn’t kissed. When we did, it was small, closed mouth, and unforgettable.
I leaned back and saw his resignation. Both to what was happening, and to his own desire for it. There was also joy, or relief. Maybe he wanted it, but could not, would not, take it. I thought he’d claim what was his once he had it, but he didn’t.That resignation was a silent, willful decision to be something else.
I kissed him again. My lips parted, and our tongues met. My fingers laced in his hair, and the heat grew. But he still didn’t take charge. Instead, he held my hips to make sure I didn’t fall, but that was it. I was in control.
It was different from kissing a girl, and not at all what kissing him the night before would have been like. The part of me that called him sir was desperate to hear that tone in his voice, to see that twitch to his brow and smirk on his lips. That was not the Alec I kissed. He bent and moved when I wanted him to. His scruff scratched at my skin, and his fingers dug into me as our mouths widened, but nothing more.
Before the heat boiled over, he broke it off, leaning back to look at me. The same resignation, only more potent now. “We can’t do this, Mason.”
Not Blackwood. Mason. His voice was soft, raspy, and sad.
“Do you want me to stop?”
His grip loosened and tightened on my hips as he scoured my face. “No.”
“Do you want me to let you stop?”
He bore into me. Another thousand, or maybe a million, unspoken words.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“We said never again…”
“Once more can’t hurt.” I smiled at his grimace. “Maybe it should be never againwhen we get home.”
His eyes tensed as he said something we both knew. “We’re weak. It won’t be once more. We won’t stop. I want you so fucking bad. I was hoping you didn’t, but here you are.”
“I thought you could read people.” I smirked. “I want you more.”
He didn’t respond outside of pressing his face to mine. The kiss became erratic. My hands traveled his body, as did his once he took my shirt off. His cock became so hard it pulsed under me, forcing mine to pulse back.
Everything was so different from the night before. Not that I was in control; it was more that he wasn’t. Whatever I wanted, he did. I wanted him to bite my nipple, so I leaned back and brought his face to my chest. His teeth were as sharp as the breath I took, and I moaned in pleasure.
He held me stable as he ravished my body. Up and down and back again. He went low as my belly button, and I would’ve fallen, but Alec is strong. I didn’t budge. How wonderful to be consumed in his arms.
It felt so good my underwear was sticky and heart was racing.
I hopped off him, leaving him confused, but not begrudged. “Lift,” I said after getting on my knees between his. Alec raised his butt off the chair, and I pulled his shorts off.
