“Yeah? ‘Cause you said shit all in the meetings today. And I’m not saying that as your boss. Technically, yourperformance was satisfactory. But you’re usually more engaging. And engaged.”
“Just tired. Didn’t sleep great last night,” I said, holding the door open for him.
Suspicion replaced concern, but the blaring pop-rock of the crowded bar prevented him from pressing further.
What could I say? That we exchanged dick pics? And liked each other’s junk? Or that I knew he was at least somewhat into guys, as was I? Or how about I woke up to an empty room and a response from him that made me blush?
The response read, “Sorry. Was sleeping. On a work trip, so couldn’t talk, anyway. But now I’m thinking about you, and…” Which was followed by a picture of Alec grabbing his bulge in his workout shorts from the hotel’s gym. He wasn’t hard, but most of the way there. It made my mouth water, my heart race, and dick hard.
I blocked him right away. He returned sweaty, panting, and jumped right in the shower with nothing more than a nod my way. I didn’t want to, I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t stop myself from listening to the flow of the water. It was probably my imagination, but I heard a rhythm in the splashing stream, like he was beating off.
Throughout the day, my anxiety turned into a white-hot, frothy, begrudging horny. I barely spoke at our first meeting because I was sure Alec knew and was just waiting until we got home to let the hammer drop. By lunch, I began asking myself if that would happen. We sent pictures to each other, and yes, I reached out to him, but he responded, did he not?
That afternoon, the anxiety made a roaring comeback. Not because I was scared Alec knew, or was worried about my job. I was convinced he didn’t—his behavior all day helped prove it. No, my heart raced, and my stomach soured because I wanted something to happen.
We were into each other, right? All alone in a distant city, sharing a hotel room. Sleeping in nothing more than our underwear, just a few feet from each other. Both cocks ready and willing to be touched, stroked, and sucked.
Now,thatwould be cause for termination. Both of us, probably, but definitely me, since I was so new. Alec too, if he’d pissed off anyone in HR. I didn’t want that to happen. As much as I liked the idea of some hot action with Alec, I loved my job more. I could not, would not, lose it. For any reason, least of which, my damn dick.
I wasn’t used to that type of constant, creeping stress and self-doubt. Anxiety comes to me in long, sharp spikes I can easily snap in half. The subtle turmoil left me tired and more uncomfortable in my skin than I had ever been. And it only got worse with the booze.
We had a single shot with the entire team, and then the highest-ups left. Throughout our first cocktail, half of the rest left. Only two other guys stayed long enough to order a second drink. Alec and I were alone for our third.
The music was too loud for Alec’s old ears. We ventured outside after another shot and found seats off in a corner. He landed like a sack of wet dirt, exhausted, and clearly thankful to be off the clock.
As I took my seat, I laughed at him, the first time I did all day. I expected him to make a joke, or ask me what was funny. Instead, he said, “Feeling better?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Gonna tell me what was up your ass all day, or is that still a private matter?”
“Nothing, man. Just stressed. Handling my first product deployment on my own got me nervous, I guess.”
Alec leaned his head back and slumped in his seat. “You’re not the nervous kind, Blackwood. But it’s all good if you don’t want to share.”
I couldn’t share, but considering our conversation the night before, I felt I had to. So, I did what any salesperson does best, bullshitted.
“No, it’s just… I really like this job. Mostly for the travel aspect, but I guess something you said has been sticking in my head.”
Alec sat up. Less about paying closer attention, and more because he slumped so far, he was about to fall. “Oh yeah? What was that?”
“Months ago, when we first started working together, you said something about traveling with someone else is well worth the inconvenience. It’s true. It would’ve sucked to do this alone.”
Alec chuckled. “It’s the truth. I like my privacy, but on these longer trips, it sucks being alone. Clients will always be clients. Your colleague is different.” He smiled to himself before looking at me again. “I’ve gone days without interacting with another person and not having to beon. Gets fucking exhausting.”
“That’s what I mean. I enjoy it when it’s just us after a long day.”
“Good, ‘cause you’re stuck with me.” He smiled. “But wait,” his face scrunched, “you’re what? Scared you’re gonna be on your own? Or something? Sorry, a little slow on the uptake right now.”
I had to think quick. “No, just like… yeah. I guess leading this deployment had me thinking of being sent off solo soon.”
Alec laughed. “You’re good, kid, but not that good. You got a few years left under my wing before you can fly on your own.” He laughed again, and so did I.
“Hey, better watch your back, old man. It doesn’t end well when the student surpasses the master.”
Alec laughed harder. “If you can, I’d let you.”
We both took a sip. That was around the time our most recent shot kicked in. Lingering worries and anxieties fell away, and I was nothing but happy as I looked around the less packed but still crowded patio.
