Chapter one
Emery
Istared up at my ceiling as the early morning light filtered through my curtains. I desperately needed more sleep, but there was no rest for the weary, and nobody was going to knock on my door and hand me a winning lottery ticket any time soon. As if on cue, there was a knock on my door.
“Emery, Pequenino, breakfast is ready.”
I sighed at my mother’s voice coming through the door. She knew I didn’t have time to sit down for breakfast, but it didn’t stop her from trying. “Coming, Mami.” I finger-combed my damp brown curls from last night’s shower into a messy bun, got dressed in a simple T-shirt, jeans, and pulled a hoodie over my head. I was looking forward to the promise in the air of warmer weather, but it was still chilly out.
As I left my room, I swiped away the notifications on my phone. Pointless social media contact from friends who didn’t know how to act around me anymore. Not since Eddie’s death two years ago. I paused in the hallway as I passed his bedroom. The door was shut, but I knew if I opened it, the room would look the same as the day he was last there. My mother hadn’t moveda single item, carefully going in every week to dust the surfaces, as if Eddie could come home at any moment and she wanted it to be ready for him.
I forced my feet to take me past the shrine and entered the kitchen. As he always was from my earliest memories, my father sat at the kitchen table, a big plate of food and a steaming mug of coffee in front of him, with his head buried in the morning paper. “Good morning, Papi,” I said as I kissed the top of his balding head. A man of few words, his answering grunt said more than the casual observer may realize.
“Sit, sit, Pequenino,” my mother urged, nudging me toward a chair where an equally full plate of food sat.
“Mami, you know I don’t have the time,” I reminded her as I shoved a piece of crispy bacon in my mouth and snatched a piece of buttered toast off the plate. “I’ll grab something from the diner.”
“Time,” she scoffed. “You never have time. When will you realize there is always time for the important things? Felix, tell your daughter to sit down and eat a proper breakfast.”
Papi lowered his paper so that his eyes peeked over the top. He looked at me for a moment before shifting his eyes to my mother. “Camila, leave the girl alone. She has a good work ethic. She’ll be fine.”
I kissed her cheek as she launched into a tirade in Italian, speaking so quickly that I could only catch every third word. I hurried from the kitchen and slung my large messenger bag over one shoulder. I looked back at my father as I opened the door, and he winked at me before nodding for me to leave. I took the flight of stairs down to the ground floor and went behind them to where I chained my bicycle every night.
I walked the bike toward the exit, and as I pushed the door open, the men loitering on the front stoop stopped talking. I didn’t spare them a glance as I carried the bike down the stepsand mounted it. I could feel their eyes on me, same as every morning. At one point, we had been friendly. Families rarely moved away, so we had all essentially grown up together. But now? Now I hated them. It was their fault that Eddie was dead in the first place. They brought the violence to our doorstep.
Without a backward glance, I pedaled away toward the diner I worked at. I didn’t have time to focus on those men. I didn’t have time for anything but work. When I wasn’t working my bike messenger job, I was picking up extra shifts at the diner. I was determined to save enough money to move my parents out of the city and away from the bad memories. My father was retired, and my mother had always been a stay-at-home mom. Since Eddie’s death, they rarely left the house because every time they did, all they saw was the memory of my brother bleeding out on the front steps. This wasn’t the retirement they deserved. This wasn’t the life any of us deserved.
I pulled down the alley behind Sunshine Diner and locked my bike up. “Good morning, Sal,” I said toward the dirty lump inside the cardboard box across the alley. “Your usual this morning?”
“That would be good, Emery,” Sal mumbled. Sal was a sweet old man who had fallen on hard times and had never recovered. I made sure every shift I worked, he got a hot meal, which was taken from my wages. A small price to pay to care for someone the world had forgotten.
“You’re late,” Tony barked as I walked into the kitchen. I glanced at my watch and rolled my eyes. I was five minutes early for my shift, but Tony liked to complain. It was part of his charm and his prerogative as the owner.
“Good morning to you, too, Tony,” I replied sweetly as I put my bag away and hung up my hoodie. I grabbed my apron and tied it around my waist before grabbing a handful of pens and a fresh notepad. “Bobby, do you think you could make mean egg, bacon, and cheese sandwich for Sal?” The short-order cook grunted in reply. I went out onto the floor to make sure everything was ready and put on the coffee. When the coffee was ready, I poured some into a to-go cup and grabbed Sal’s sandwich.
“Breakfast is served, Sal,” I said as I went back into the alley. The old man sat up and accepted my offerings. “I appreciate you, Emery. You’re a good kid.”
“Anytime, Sal. You stay warm today, ok?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I went back inside and flipped the sign on the door to open. As the morning progressed, more waitresses arrived, and the diner got packed. Sunshine’s was a popular morning stop for the locals.
“Emery?” Tony called me halfway through my shift. “I need you to pick up a dinner shift tonight. Carina called out.”
“Ok,” I replied. I had hoped to be able to snag an extra shift today. By the time the morning rush was over and I was on my bike headed toward my second job, I had over $50 in tips stuffed in my bra. Not bad for slinging eggs and coffee. I locked my bike next to the row of other bicycles sitting outside of Speedy B’s and went inside. I generally didn’t have to come to the office very often. We had an app where we could pick up jobs that made it unnecessary, but Beatrice had called a mandatory meeting for all messengers. Last month was Fashion Week, and Speedy B’s had been one of the top courier companies used. It was the company’s first time participating, which was a huge deal. I hoped they would offer us a contract for future events if they liked our work. The money had been nearly five times what I usually made in a day. Fingers crossed, that was what this meeting was about.
I walked inside and flopped down in a chair in the conference room. Immediately, someone sat beside me, and a to-go cup of coffee was shoved in my face. “Sup, Emmy?” Justin said as Itook the coffee, and he threw his arm around my shoulder. “You know, I only see you at work functions anymore. I’m beginning to get offended.”
I studied the blond man, his blue eyes sparkling as they raked over me, and rolled my eyes as I removed his arm from around my shoulders. Justin and I had hooked up at the company Christmas party a year ago, last Christmas—just the one time. I had been upset about it being the first Christmas without my brother, drank too much eggnog, and woke up as the temporary guest of Justin’s bachelor pad. He hadn’t stopped coming on to me since, always trying to get me back into his bed for another romp. He was a nice enough guy, and the sex was good, but I wasn’t interested in him like that.
“I was hoping you’d begin to get the hint,” I retorted as I took a sip of the coffee. “Thanks for this.”
“I figured you would need it since you’re always working,” Justin replied good-naturedly, not taking my brush off personally. That was the thing about him. It was hard to get upset about his constant advances because he was a puppy dog at heart. “So what do you think this meeting is about?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied. “I’m hoping it will be about how we did during Fashion Week.”
“How did you do? I made bank, got ahead of my bills. If we got a couple of those a year, it would make a world of difference to my lifestyle.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that would be nice. Oh, here she is.” Beatrice stepped to the front of the room, and the other messengers hovering around the room scrambled to find a seat as silence filled the room. Beatrice was a ballbuster. It’s one of the big things I liked about her. She treated everyone equally, which was to say with a thread of patience and high expectations.
