No, no, no.
The corners of the grey walls begin to blur in my vision as they curve in against my small form. I’m seventeen years old once again. Time warpslike molten glass, each particle in my sight bending and pooling to form new shapes and structures. The room shrinks. The walls darken to the bronze hue of chipped wood.
I drop to the ground, seeking out the crack in the hinge for a breath of fresh air, but this door is immaculate. Not even a gap to catch the rising and setting of the sun. No glimpse of hope.
Legs scraping against the floor, my ass drags back until my spine collides with a wall. I choke on the heavy chemical twist in the air, desperately pulling more down my throat faster and faster. My lungs burn. My chest constricts.
I curl my knees to my chest and bury my face, rogue tears tumbling over the legs bared from my hiked-up dress. Phantom floorboards from my childhood closet brush the soft skin of my feet. The smell of decaying cedar floods my nostrils.
Trust your instincts, Cassy. When they tell you to run, you listen the first time.
But what if every single one of my instincts told me to stay?
What does a woman do once the time for running has passed?
The only sound in the air is hyperventilating breaths and the choking gasps drawn from my throat in a desperate attempt to avoid passing out from CO2 overload.
I can’t let myself pass out.
I remember what it’s like to wake up here.
I remember everything.
Mikhail
Surrounded by the five men I trust the most, I take my seat behind the old mahogany desk and fix my gaze on the dark wall ahead.
The tips of my fingers press deep into the sides of my skull, trying to release the desperate scream trapped inside.
Andrei, my Head of Security and third in command, is stationed at the door, muttering endlessly into his phone as he checks in with our various security teams. The Petrov brothers, Ivan and Lev, stand off to my right, eyes peeled to the computer Ilya has balanced across his lap. On my left, Sergei stands vigil, silent as ever.
Having my makeshift family collected in my space provides a strategic advantage if Cassio creates another attack, though it does nothing to contain the clusterfuck this night has become. Even with the back-up, I can’t prevent the infection from spreading through the raw wound in my chest—the fresh pain of manipulation, a cut I’ve never allowed myself to experience before.
Nor does it halt the echoed scream, which is still wreaking havoc in my mind.
The rough tone of my second’s voice snaps me out of my lost thoughts and back into miserable reality.
“You heard the call transcript just as clearly as I did. Cassio is playing games. If we don’t deal with her, he’ll feed her name to the lower circles of the organization.” Ivan rubs the back of his neck. “There could be a revolt!”
“We should just give her over to the men, allow them to dole out the punishment,” Lev interjects. “It will reaffirm your loyalty to the Bratva, Mikhail?—”
“Enough!” I cut Lev off before he could even finish his thought, glaring daggers into my two friends’ gazes.
“My loyalty is not, and will never be, in question,” I grind out, effectively cutting off the debate. “And I will not be giving her over to the lower circles just to prove some bullshit point. I’m not killing her.”
I can’t even bear to say her name aloud.
Shocked looks of confusion pass between Andrei and the Petrov brothers.
“It’s going to take a lot of resources to keep her safe after this. I wouldn’t put it past Cassio to use her to turn us against each other,” Andrei says to me, cell phone hanging loose in his grip.
“Mikhail, this is madness. We need all of our resources at our disposal if the Mafia is preparing for an attack, and instead we’re wasting them on keeping one traitorous bitch protected?” Lev’s face twists in anger, contorting as he spits his vitriol in my direction.
“Pakhan,” I silence him, my voice deadly calm. “You address me as Pakhan, signifying your inferior place in this organization.”
The room rings silent in response to my rare show of rank.
“Pakhan,” Ivan says, hesitating briefly before walking towards me. “If you need someone else to take care of it…”
