I mean, it’s a “laser.” (Aka a laser pointer).
It’s actually also a corkscrew, but it’s a piece of shit. Real one’s in the drawer next to the fridge.
Yeah, thanks, I found it.
Did you also find the toilet paper roll safe? Oh, and the exploding golf balls?
What??
Never mind.
Dec 23 at 8:45 PM
OWEN
Seriously, am I keeping you from writing with all this texting?
GEORGE
Yes, thank God.
DECEMBER 24
CHAPTER 31
OWEN
The next morning,I pad to the door to collect the newspaper from the hallway. But this time, I find a surprise sitting on top—a comically oversized peppermint stick with a note attached:
You look like a man who appreciates a big candy cane. ;-) Thanks for the scones! Happy Holidays — Raj & Marty
I choke out a laugh and immediately text George as I bring it inside.
Dec 24 at 8:30 AM
Owen
I think your neighbors are trying to corrupt me.
As soon as I hit send, I wince. I wasn’t going to bother today. He’s supposed to be working. But before I can even fully register the thought, he messages back.
George
In what way? Criminal? Political?
Sugar and innuendo.
Oh! They REALLY like you!
I settle in with the bagel and cream cheese I prepared for breakfast and ask the thing that’s really been nagging at me since I woke up.
Please tell me you really did get something done yesterday so I don’t have to feel guilty?
Don’t feel guilty! I feel guilty, dragging an innocent into my delinquent scheme.
Also, yes, I wrote 3 and a half mostly not terrible chapters yesterday!
Okay, phew.
