Agnar clenched his fists beneath the table until his joints hurt, forcing a pleasant expression to hide the turmoil beneath as he waited for her answer.
‘I wouldn’t say I was happy…’ she declared self-righteously, and then paused before saying more quietly, ‘optimistic…perhaps.’
Skadi might as well have named him Emperor; he was so smugly pleased with himself. All of the discomfort he’d felt moments before disappeared under her praise. Might she one day wanthim, as much as she had wanted Heimdall?
If her attraction to Heimdall had been half of what he felt for Skadi now, then he pitied her, because there was nothing he would not do for her.
But dare he hope for more…for love?
Such a thing seemed ridiculous for a grown man and warrior to wish for. But each day, a secret part of him—a part of him he’d previously forgotten—grew louder and more insistent, until it felt like a great beast within him, wild and ferociously hungry, desperate for any morsel of touch or scrap of affection that Skadi might grant. He was losing control and the enemy was himself. But he couldn’t seem to stop himself or find the strength to fight it.
Odin save him, he wanted her love!
A lyre and drum began to play and Astra pulled Brenna and Gertrud up to dance. To his surprise Vali joined them. He wondered if Skadi would like to dance, but the idea of making a fool of himself in front of her with his awkward dancing skills was less than appealing, so he asked her curiously, ‘And, what have I done to warrant such a drastic change of heart?’
Bright blue eyes locked with his. ‘Youwantto be King. I know that must seem obvious. After all, you want power just like any other man, but…to want tobea king, that is different…it’s…special. To have the desire to learn and understand every aspect of the kingdom you rule, that is the true nature of a good leader. Heimdall never had much interest in that.’
For Skadi to take such a giant step with her confession and praise, humbled him and so he answered honestly, ‘Why do you think Iwantpower?’
Skadi sighed as if such a question was dull and obvious. She rolled her wrist as she spoke, the horn of mead in her hand tilting precariously. ‘For glory, for control, for ambition and pride. For all the usual reasons that men do anything.’
He’d noticed she’d drunk far more tonight than he’d ever seen her drink before. She’d laughed more, too. The hall had been filled with easy conversation, reminiscing over past stories and telling light-hearted jokes. Skadi had visibly relaxed since arriving at the crafters’ village, she loved these people and felt comfortable here. The divide between royalty, servant, friend and family blurred in this homely hall so far from the elegant formality of Thrudheim.
He drank deeply from his own horn of mead; it was rich and strong in flavour, leaving him a little light-headed—or was that just the effect Skadi’s eyes had on him? ‘I want power for the same reason a person with a starving family wants an axe.’
Skadi chuckled. ‘A starving family would want food, not an axe.’
Agnar shook his head. ‘No. Food once eaten is gone forever. But with an axe you can protect your family, hunt for food, cut wood for your fire and defeat anyone who tries to hurt you. Food delays death, a tool can give you a future.’
Her smile dropped as she listened to him, realising the truth of his words. ‘I didn’t know…about how you were treated after. But… I should have asked. I’m truly sorry for that.’
The bitter memories caused his teeth to clench, but he pushed forward regardless. ‘I was angry. Sven took so much from me and I blamed you—at least, partly, for it—which was wrong of me. But I want you to know the truth…all of it.Not just what they told you.’
He took a deep breath. ‘My mother and I were cast out by King Sven with nothing more than the clothes on our back and my father’s ring on her finger. It was her punishment for arriving at Thrudheim without Sven’s permission and disrupting his plans with you—not that it made any difference. She managed to get us passage on to a ship going to a trading town across the sea, still far from Aldeigja, but at least possible to reach on foot. It was with the same merchant who’d allowed us passage to Thrudheim.
‘It wasn’t until later that I realised she’d paid for our travel by selling her body to him. She sacrificed herself more than once to keep me safe—if we’d remained with Sven, he would have had me killed eventually. As a parting gift, the merchant gave me his axe. I almost threw it in the sea, I was so disgusted by him, but my mother stopped me.
‘We walked through the wilderness for months in the middle of winter and I was grateful for my axe then… With power,true power, you and your family will always be safe. On her deathbed, I promised my mother that I would marry the Queen of Thrudheim and finally have true power—I would be invincible.’ He looked her in the eyes. ‘Skadi, I meant what I said before. I want power to protect the people I care about.’
Skadi stared at him wide eyed. ‘But if your mother is dead…’
‘You and Astra are my family now. I made a promise to your ancestors…and, once I give my word, I keep it.’ He paused and took another deep breath, confessing the darkest secret of all. ‘More than that… Before, I craved only power. But now all I want is you…and without you, I would be powerless.’
Skadi’s eyes were wide with astonishment. She swallowed and took a deep breath, before taking a large gulp of her mead.
Had his words frightened her? Angered her?Embarrassed, he lowered his own horn, and stared at it in his scarred hand, unable to meet her gaze. She probably thought him a hopeless lovesick fool.
To his surprise a pale hand covered and then wrapped around his own. Skadi had taken his hand and was now rising from her seat, taking him with her. He followed, stumbling a little as he struggled to move his large body around the bench, ‘If you wish to dance, I must warn you, I am not very good.’
She ignored him and they wove through the crowd, her hand not leaving his or loosening its tight grip. To his surprise they came out of the hall and walked a few feet away from the light of the open doors.
Skadi stopped suddenly, turning to face him. The wind whipped across them with a sudden chill and she pressed her palms against his shoulders and thrust him hard against the stone of the hall’s wall.
There was a sharp and confusing moment when he wondered what he had done to enrage her so.Yes, his declaration had been clumsy, but—
Skadi pressed her lips against his and it was so unexpected he had to grab the wall behind him to steady himself. She pushed harder against his mouth and body, her breasts rubbed against his chest and a few of the stray hairs that had escaped from her braid tickled his cheek and neck. Before he could gather his wits enough to kiss her back, she pulled away and stared at him, the sounds of her breath heavy in the air.
Thunder rumbled across the sky, mingling with the distant hum of music and merriment from inside the hall. A nearby bucket was toppled over as another gust of wind rattled through the village, signalling the arrival of a winter storm.
