She raised a brow at his mocking tone. ‘You are suggesting Sven was to blame. But my father trusted him and therefore so did I. He’d already agreed an alliance with Sven’s father…with our betrothal, remember?’
‘A betrothal you did not keep.’
She nodded, still refusing to apologise. But for some reason it no longer bothered him. Perhaps because he finally understood why she had been so afraid. The pressure and responsibility she’d faced back then at such a young age was something he already understood. Although he would still argue that she should never have trusted Sven or Heimdall.
‘The alliance was maintained…because SvensuggestedI break the betrothal. You are probably right about his reasons for doing so. He’s asked to be matched with Astra more than once.’
‘Astra?’ Agnar felt his stomach churn with horror and disgust. Now he understood her fearful words that first night, when he’d demanded the return of his Queen. It hadn’t even occurred to him that she would suspect he meant Astra. The little girl who quite rightly still played with kittens and dolls.
Skadi gave him a pointed look. ‘And yet you expected the same of me?’
‘You were not old enough to be my grandparent like Sven! There is only ten years between us.’ But then he glanced at Astra and finally understood what Skadi must have seen when she’d looked at him all those years ago. ‘Granted, I was too young then. But all you had to do was agree to the wishes of your father. My mother would have stayed with me in Thrudheim and we could have requested your uncle’s support. In a few short years, I would have been more than capable of bedding you and the difference in our ages would have meant nothing, as it does now.’
A pink blush stained Skadi’s cheeks and he realised she was embarrassed by his blunt words about bedding her. He was secretly pleased that she no longer appeared disgusted by the suggestion… Perhaps, she was warming towards him?
Eventually, Skadi cleared her throat and shook her head in disbelief. ‘I am sure you believe you are simply rectifying a wrong done to you many years ago. But things were more complicated then. I never meant to hurt you or your mother. I thought I was doing the right thing…for all of us.’
Previously, he would have raged at her for saying such a thing, but he found himself accepting the sincerity of her words, even if he did not agree with them. ‘Things could have been so different… Your father was a good man. I am sorry he left this world so unexpectedly, it must have been difficult for you to mourn him and defend your throne at the same time.’
Skadi nodded, her expression turning sad. ‘I often think about how muchbetterthings would have been if he’d lived longer.’
Agnar was surprised by her confession and she chuckled at his obviously dazed expression. ‘Not because ofyou!’She rolled her eyes dramatically, before sighing.‘Well, not entirely because of you… I would have loved to have been with him for longer…to have learned at his side. I felt as if I were drowning at first, under the responsibility of it all. I thought I’d prepared myself for it, but I hadn’t. There was no one to offer me guidance, except for Sven, my mother was long dead—I do not even remember her—and Heimdall seemed like such a…safechoice.’ She shrugged. ‘Hate me for it if you must. But I could hear the beasts scratching at the door and I was afraid that if I didn’t act, they would eventually come bursting in.’
‘Heimdall was Sven’s puppet,’ he snapped, unable to hide his resentment.
Skadi sighed. ‘And I thought to make him mine. I thought he adored me, that he would have done anything that I wished…’
‘And did he?’
She laughed, the sound bitter and cold. ‘Of course not. He never loved me. I was the one blinded by desire and foolish pride. But I still do not regret marrying him.’ She smiled warmly, as Astra came down the loft ladder with her doll in her hands. ‘How could I regret her?’
Astra strode up and placed her doll on the table with a soft thud. ‘Look at her new dress! Isn’t it beautiful?’ she declared and Agnar noted that the doll wore a sapphire gown with a white wolf emblazoned on its front.
The new banner of Thrudheim.
For the first time he truly understood why Skadi refused to beg forgiveness for what she had done. To do so would be to admit that she regretted marrying Heimdall and having Astra.
Skadi refused to regret the past, because it had given her a future. Perhaps he should also let go of the past andchooseto be happy?
Chapter Seventeen
They rose early the next day, and made their way through the forest to the silver mine. Skadi had been relieved that Agnar had let her have some privacy last night, especially as Astra was sleeping in a little bed next to them. He’d waited until they’d both gone to bed before joining her.
Thankfully the loft bed was large and she barely noticed him in it. It was about as intimate as sleeping next to Brenna, or dare she say it… Heimdall.
The path to the silver mine from the lodge was reasonably flat, winding through the forest of the mountain ridge to the small and unassuming hole in the rockface that was the entrance to the vast network of tunnels beneath the mountain. It didn’t take them long to reach it and they quickly dismounted their horses. If it wasn’t for all of the tools, carts and the miners’ cabin beside it, a person might miss it entirely.
‘When you arrived, did you use the path we used yesterday to get to my hall, or did you use that path?’ Skadi asked curiously, pointing down to a rocky path that was even steeper than the one they’d climbed with horses.
‘Neither,’ Agnar said, shaking his head. ‘If I’d known these two paths existed, it would have been much easier. We used hooks and ropes to climb up the cliff face from our ships and then hacked our way through the forest down to your gate. It was very…challenging.’
‘I can imagine!’ Skadi laughed and after a moment he returned her smile. ‘But I suppose these paths are not obvious from the sea, sheltered as they are by the trees.’
‘Which is a good thing,’ Agnar said thoughtfully. ‘Every man craves silver, either for a Thor’s hammer, or to trade it for goods. Later, we line our burial chambers with it and carry it with us into the afterlife. It is essential to our way of life, yet this is the only place producing a significant amount of silver in the west. The rest comes from the Islamic Caliphates in the east and they expect hordes of slaves and furs in payment. It is why many covet your kingdom, despite its small size. To produce your own silver is to own true freedom.’
‘Did you ever travel east?’ she asked curiously, wondering what the eastern mines were like so far away.
‘Yes, to Constantinople and beyond.’
