Astra stared up at him with wide eyes and Skadi saw the fear whisper across her face as she no doubt remembered the way Agnar had easily held her aloft. But to Skadi’s surprise and considerable pride, Astra’s chin rose and she declared, ‘I like Agnar teaching me his wolf-cub tricks!’
‘Wolf-cub tricks?’she asked, with a raised brow as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Astra nodded eagerly. ‘Agnar used to live like a wolf cub in the wild with his mother. They travelled all the way to Aldeigja alone and most of the way by land, too! Avoiding wild beasts, cut-throats, thieves, and slavers! And he wasn’t much older than I am now!’
Skadi blinked, her stomach twisting. Was it true? Or, was it simply a man boasting to a naive child? ‘I thought Sven took you and your mother back to the Rus?’ she asked, already dreading his answer by the way his eyes narrowed.
‘He offered a ship to take us, but only if my mother declared at court that I was illegitimate and had no true claim to either Thrudheim or Sven’s kingdom. She refused and we made our own way to the Rus alone.’
Skadi swallowed the bile in her throat.
How had they survived?It was many weeks to Aldeigja by boat—by land it would have taken many months. Had her rejection of him all those years ago set a terrible tragedy in motion?
A sudden and unwelcome thought came to her.
Where was she now?His mother had been the champion of his birthright…what had become of her? Surely she would have remained at his side when he sought to reclaim Thrudheim? Nausea threatened to overwhelm her as she asked quietly, ‘Is your mother still with her Rus family?’
Agnar’s jaw flexed. ‘No. Unfortunately, she died. Not long after we arrived in Aldeigja.’
‘I am sorry… I did not know…’
‘Would it have made any difference? Would you have chosen me instead?’
‘I…’ She couldn’t answer him.
A silent and painful acknowledgement passed between them. Skadi had not known about his mother, or the suffering they had endured to escape Sven’s clutches. But neither had she troubled herself to check or ask what had become of them. And, of course, she still would have married Heimdall.
Honestly, she was surprised he didn’t hate her more. And worryingly, she now couldn’t justify hating him either.
Astra glanced between them, before asking impatiently, ‘Please, Moma, let him train me. I promise to practise my swings as well.’
Skadi couldn’t speak; she merely nodded her agreement. She moved to stand beside Brenna, her hand resting lightly on the hilt of her practice sword as she watched.
Agnar was surprisingly patient with Astra, taking time to demonstrate twists and steps that would move her swiftly out of reach. He showed her the obvious ways a larger opponent might try to disarm or attack her and what she needed to do to thwart them.
They practised over and over until Astra began to do the movements instinctively as if they were dancing. Her daughter laughed and grinned with excitement and satisfaction at grasping the skills quickly.
When it came to demonstrating one defensive technique, Agnar stopped and asked Skadi to come and join him. ‘It will be easier to demonstrate if she can see what needs to be done.’
Skadi came to stand in front of him. Gently he took her shoulders and turned her around, so that her back was to his chest. ‘If someone comes at you from behind.’ He reached his arm around her waist and tugged her backwards. She tried her best to ignore the heat of his thick arm against her stomach, or the way her bottom pressed into his groin, or even how well they seemed to fit against one another…because her daughter and Brenna were watching them.
‘They will try to grab you here.’ He gently curved his arm around her, pressing his palm flat against her shoulder. ‘Or, here…’ His hand lifted to rest flat against the side of her throat—she swallowed nervously as waves of goosebumps ran down her neck. His breath ruffled the baby hairs against her ear, and she had to hold her breath to stop herself from moaning. ‘Do you know how to escape me, Skadi?’
She moved slowly, not wanting to hurt him and so that she could explain it to Astra. ‘Foot to foot.’ She lightly pressed her boot against his. ‘Elbow to rib.’ She demonstrated again with her arm, deliberately dropping her arm as the elbow connected, and letting her body lean against his. Her bottom pressed lightly against his groin and his sharp intake of breath was the only answer she needed. ‘Head to nose.’ She tapped her head back, Agnar arching away from her far more than necessary, so they didn’t make contact.
His hands immediately dropped from around her body and she stepped out of the stifling embrace, glancing curiously back at him. He looked stunned and uncomfortable, his eyes avoiding hers.
Agnar cleared his throat, reaching for his sword, where he’d left it on the ground. ‘Excellent. Now, while you practise your sword skills, I will go and prepare the horses for our journey.’
Skadi nodded and watched him leave, shaken by the ache within her.
She wanted him, enjoyed the feel of his body pressed against hers and longed to feel his lips against her throat. Wicked thoughts spiralled in her mind and she had to take several deep breaths to calm herself. If she allowed this passion to control her, she might as well sacrifice her daughter and kingdom now.
When he was gone, she turned to Astra and asked gently, ‘Are you comfortable around Agnar? I know it must be difficult, after what happened with your father.’
To her surprise Astra shook her head. ‘No, Agnar explained it to me. He told me you were meant to have married him many years ago, but couldn’t. Then, when Father was badly hurt, he helped him enter Valhalla with his sword in hand. He said he was sorry for that, but it’s what Father would have wanted… Which it was, wasn’t it? Pappa always said Valhalla was the greatest honour any warrior could receive.’
Skadi swallowed the knot in her throat, regret threatening to drown her. Could things have been different if she’d taken greater care to ensure Agnar and his mother had been better cared for? Could she have avoided all of this? ‘It is.’
