‘Do you still feel that way towards me?’
Runar shook his head. ‘No. I am sorry, truly.’ It wasn’t enough, considering the pain he had caused, but he hoped Thorin would still accept it.
‘That is good.’ Thorin rested his hand on Runar’s shoulder for a moment. ‘Maybe one day you can return to my Hall, but I am afraid today is not that day.’
‘I understand. It will take time for you to forgive me. Especially as it has taken so long for me to apologise.’
‘No, that’s not it.’ His uncle patted his shoulder as if consoling him, and then dropped his hand. ‘We must wait for Gertrud. She still hasn’t forgiven herself.’
‘We were both young and stupid.’
Compared to the intimacy and affection he had shared with Embla, the flirtation between himself and Gertrud seemed ridiculously naive now, like a child’s game.
Thorin must have felt the same, because he nodded. ‘I know that, and I forgave you long ago, but she has not. Until that day comes, I will not hurt her with your presence. However, I did speak with her last night, and I believe Embla’s safe return has helped her to accept some of her past mistakes.Ifthey are both comfortable with your camping outside the gates, then you may remain for as long as you wish.’
‘I never appreciated before how much you cared for Gertrud to forgive her so easily, but I am very glad you did.’
Thorin gave him a hard look that reminded him of his father. ‘I care for you both.Thatis why...’
Runar nodded. ‘If Gertrud does ask me to leave, I will go. Please tell Embla that I will stay at the cave instead, and if she wishes to join me...would you guide her there? She is not good at finding her way alone.’
‘Of course...if she wishes it.’
The Jarl turned as if to leave, but then stopped. ‘Runar?’
‘Yes?’
‘Are you sure Embla wants you? We will not give her up easily... She is family.’
Runar clenched his teeth hard. ‘Does she know that? She described herself as a servant to me.’
Thorin’s brow wrinkled with disagreement, but then he gave a gruff huff of acknowledgement. ‘True, we have taken her presence for granted. We must remedy that,’ he replied before walking away.
Embla was bored. Gertrud had insisted she no longer do her usual chores, telling her torest. But Embla wasn’t even sure how to do such a thing. Her sister had left with her mother that morning on some vague errand, and she had been left alone in Gertrud’s sewing room with nothing to occupy her time.
She had already tidied the sewing supplies twice, and half-heartedly weaved, using the loom, once. But as that was a task she didn’t enjoy, she had quickly given up. Now she found herself staring at the polished instruments in the corner of the room.
Would they mind if she touched them?
Things were so different now. She would never have dared call Gertrud her sister before, but now she insisted upon it. No one seemed surprised by her change in status. Apparently, Gertrud had confessed the truth of their mutual lineage after Embla had gone missing.
When Embla had asked her why, Gertrud had simply answered, ‘Because I was tired of lies.’
Which was an odd answer, but she strangely understood it. Secrets had a way of wearing you down, like waves on a rock, and in her grief, Gertrud had given up pretending not to care.
Embla picked up the lyre and settled herself on a chair beside the brazier. A low fire was burning to add a little warmth to the room, and the shutters were open, letting in plenty of light for her to see by. She practised the notes Runar had taught her, and then began to play a melody. It wasn’t anything complicated; she was nowhere near as skilled as Runar. But it soothed her spirit, and reminded her of happier times in the cabin.
Their Yule together felt as if it were a lifetime ago, and she regretted telling Runar to leave so harshly. What if he decided never to return for her?
It would be my own stupid fault!
She missed him.
Would he miss her as she missed him?
She doubted it. Runar didn’t need anyone, not really.
Hoping that he would choose her over his independence and peace had been selfish and arrogant. She thought about when they had first met, and he’d accused her of having no pride.
