‘No.’ Gertrud straightened in her seat, her head tilting in serious contemplation. ‘I was being selfish. Marriage was a disappointment to me at first. As you know, I am Thorin’s second wife, picked solely because I was young and from a fruitful family. Love had nothing to do with it, and like any young woman, I was desperate to experience it. So, when Runar thought himself in love with me, I allowed myself to be swept along by the flattery of it. I am fortunate that I eventually saw sense, and that Thorin forgave my reckless mistake so readily...’ She paused, pain and regret sliding across her usually calm face. ‘Has Runar forgiven me yet?’
Shocked, Asa looked back and forth between them, but she wisely stayed silent.
‘He holds no ill will towards you. He is better than that,’ replied Embla.
‘That is a relief...’ She let out a deep sigh. ‘He has good reason to hate me, but as you say, he is not a resentful man.’ She poked her needle into the cloth and pushed it through. ‘Doyoulove him?’
‘Yes.’ It was surprisingly easy to answer her.
Asa gasped, but it was Gertrud who asked the next question. ‘Then, why are you here? Does he not love you back?’
Embla’s stomach twisted. ‘I think he does.’
Gertrud nodded. ‘Of course, he does. It is impossiblenotto love you...I love you.’
Embla’s heart felt as if it were about to burst, and she stared at her half-sister wondering if she had misheard her.
Gertrud’s needle paused as she finally met her eyes. ‘I am sorry that I have never said it before. But I will tell it to you now. I think you are the kindest, warmest, most joyful person I have ever met, and... I love you,sister.’
Tears pricked her eyes and Embla swallowed the painful lump in her throat. They were the words she had longed to hear for so long. ‘I love you too...sister,’ she repeated, her voice broken with emotion. She glancedat her mother, who was tearfully wiping her own eyes with her embroidery.
But Gertrud was not finished. ‘I have been afraid for years that you would marry and some man would steal you away from me. But then I thought you were dead, and I realised how selfish I have been all these years, keeping you with me and discouraging all of your suitors. I felt trapped, and so I trapped you here with me...and that was unkind.’
‘Allof my suitors?’ laughed Embla, and Gertrud smiled sadly.
‘There have been a few over the years, but I insisted every time that they leave you alone.’
Embla rolled her eyes. The idea of marrying someone like Ottar felt ridiculous to her now.
‘Do not feel bad about that, sister. I never cared for any of them...and I did not want to leave you or the boys either.’
‘But you should have! You cannot live in my shadow forever. It is not fair...on either of us.’
Embla had never expected such a confession. ‘But you need me.’
‘Then it is time I learned to live without you. The boys are older now, and I do not struggle with them as I once did. You deserve your own life, Embla. I have dominated enough of it as it is. Your mother only agreed for you to live with me because she hoped I would give you a better life. But I have taken advantage of you and kept you with me, and now I fear I have yet again stolen an opportunity from you. Runar is a good man, and if you wish to be with him, then you should go...do not let me be the cause of both of your unhappiness for a second time.’
Embla shook her head. ‘You are not to blame for my choices. I am.’
‘Then why did he leave?’
Embla was surprised Gertrud did not know the reason. Maybe they had not been as close as she had presumed.
‘He is not good with crowds. To him, Gudvangen is an overwhelming place.’
‘Will he come back?’
‘I hope so...’ answered Embla miserably, but she wasn’t sure, and she was afraid she had made a terrible mistake in staying here.
Gertrud returned to her embroidery. She had never been the kind of woman to show her heart easily.
‘Runar is like me in so many ways. He has so much love to give, but he struggles to show it. I am afraid I am partly to blame for that too. I will speak with Thorin, and maybe there is something we can do to help.’
‘Perhaps...but even so, I will have to wait until he returns in the autumn. I do not know the way back to his cabin...unless one of the fishermen can sail me to the other side of the mountain...?’
‘I will speak with Thorin,’ Gertrud reassured her, reaching across to hold her hand for the barest of moments before going back to her embroidery. To Embla it was as demonstrative as a hug. Gertrud then added, ‘We may have had a difficult start in our marriage, but we have grown to love each other over the years, and Thorin will do anything for his family.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
